ive already seen stuff about this so i want to make it clear. i hope people realize that john mulaney relapsing, having to go to rehab, divorcing his wife and then immediately after dating someone else and having a kid with her is one thing, it's a series of things that happened to him and that are none of our business, they don't impact anybody else's lives except john's and the people directly involved, that's why people were defending him back then and talking about not putting him on a pedestal because he's not perfect etc

john mulaney platforming a transhomophobe without a warning, and cheering him on and clapping and hugging him etc is a completely different thing. dude that HURTS people, that's a direct attack towards his vastly queer online audience. it involves all of us

so here's my point. "stop putting celebrities on a pedestal" worked for the first part, john was considered this untouchable being, and then he did something that was kinda ehhhhhhh and we know what happened

but THIS IS DIFFERENT. the pedestal is on the ground. we are ground fucking floor baby! the standard is literally "don't be a bigot" AND HE DID THAT. there is no pedestal girl it's basic common sense

one thing is elevating someone to godhood, giving them the untouchable perfect person status, and being disappointed when they do one thing that makes them less perfect. another is expecting the bare fucking minimum (not being a bigot) and being met with bigotry.

please. PLEASE for the love of everything that is holy and unholy on this earth, learn the goddamn difference and understand that this is nowhere near comparable as the previous shit that happened

john mulaney has checked into rehab. here’s what we are going to do:

• support him

• wish him well

• respect his privacy

here’s what we are NOT going to do

• make jokes because addiction is not funny

• speculate anything about his marriage or personal life

• attack those in his personal life (*ahem, leave anna alone. don’t go asking pete davidson for details. none of that)

addiction is a serious disease, and while this news may be troubling, i am so proud of him for seeking help. you can too.

a good shirt i own and a mistake i continue to make whenever i go out in public

John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something

Well done OP, you’ve managed to capture the moment John’s spirit left his body

Jerry’s lucky that John is too polite to throw hands

Okay but I just went and watched this for myself and it’s WORSE

He’s. So uncomfortable. It’s obvious. I cut out the part where John kind of muttered, “That is true, isn’t it” about how all men think they’re funny, but his face is just screwed up in this ‘oh god what have i done what have i signed up for this is not good and this will probably go into my next comedy special of awkwardness’

Just watched this omg bless john bc jerry just keeps trying to do some “take my wife” bullshit and john very politely goes no, no.

proud of John for restraining himself from murdering a man on camera

What’s so horrifying about this to me is that this is literally Jerry Seinfeld trying to teach John Mulaney how to gaslight his wife.

Look at that dialogue. “She thinks she knows.” He’s trying to get Mulaney to see his wife’s expertise as instead a weird misperception. He’s coaching him to undercut his wife’s confidence in the truth and her own abilities.

And Mulaney replies exactly the right way: “She does know.” He asserts not only that she’s perceiving the world accurately, but that she is an expert at something he’s not good at.

Dudes, don’t take this shit from other dudes. Mulaney isn’t by any means perfect but he aced this. Stand for the truth. Defend women’s objectivity. Promote women’s expertise.

Doesnt his wife also work with antiques too?like. Isnt that part of her actual job?

I reblog this every time because I don’t think people understand that Anna is literally an interior designer. She makes absolutely stunning Victorian Lampshades. Which she designs.. for the interior of a home… she’s literally an interior designer. She doesn’t think she’s good at it, she knows she’s good at it because it’s her fucking job

my wIFE!!! (also known as how to get clear skin in 5 mins)

you know this is the kind of life upgrade I want

john mulaney and pancakes

ok SO john mulaney has a new live show on the netflicks (the comeback kid) and i was lucky enough to see him do this act live in milwaukee this summer!!! but the recorded show is missing something special

so summer in milwaukee is known for being like. comically humid. disgustingly, oppressively humid. ‘can’t tell the difference between being downtown and being literally submerged in lake michigan’ humid

and poor john mulaney was wearing a nice-looking but also very warm suit. so once about every 10-20 minutes he would pause whatever spiel he was on, wipe his forehead, flutter his jacket about, regret his fashion choices and ask what was wrong with us that we don’t properly air condition our venues

about halfway through the show, a woman in one of the front rows stood up and started to walk out so in classic mulaney fashion he razzed her that she couldn’t take the heat either and asked her to bring him a pepsi - she didn’t break stride (i would try to play it cool too if over a thousand people were suddenly watching me get razzed by mulaney)

as soon as she was out of the theatre, he turned his mic off and started yelling to those of us who were still in there

“okay guys, we’re going to play a little prank on her! can everyone hear me? WE’RE GOING TO PLAY A PRANK! at some point later in the show i’m going to say ‘you know what they say in milwaukee!!’ and you’re all going to wave your arm around like this’ - he jauntily waved his arm with his first finger outstretched, like an 80 year old man doing the charleston - ‘and you will all shout ‘gimme some PANcakes!!!’’

we did a few rehearsals of this until he was satisfied, and he turned his mic back on and continued with his act

a few minutes later the woman walked back through the theatre but passed her row, walked all the way up to the stage, and set a can of pepsi at mulaney’s feet. he stopped, mouth agape for a moment and touched his chest. ‘is this really for me?’ he asked. ‘did i ask you for pepsi? i have no idea why i would do that, i hate pepsi.’ he thanked her sincerely several times, and when she turned his back to him to return to her seat, he made frantic ‘kill’ motions across his throat to signal to us that the prank was off

he continued to lament the heat for the rest of his act, eventually lost the jacket and drank the gifted pepsi, grimacing cartoonishly every time. at the very end of the night he thanked us for being a great audience, thanked the woman in particular for her kindness, and triumphantly said ‘BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY IN MILWAUKEE!!!’ and 1 very generous women was hopelessly confused when 1299 people shouted ‘GIMME SOME PANCAKES!!!!!’