spaceswordblaster reblogged
🚨Breaking:🚨
Kamala Harris announces the White Pharaoh as her vice presidential pick
spaceswordblaster reblogged
🚨Breaking:🚨
Kamala Harris announces the White Pharaoh as her vice presidential pick
spaceswordblaster reblogged
I was a big LMFAO fan in the early 10s and here are some lesser played faves (granted, they only had two albums lol)
Also of note: this album with 51 different versions of 'I'm in Miami Bitch' for different American cities/areas?
spaceswordblaster reblogged
There was a pool 🏊♂️ for skeletens 💀 only.
Our favorite Halloween tradition: reading the book my brother wrote when he was ten.
The Haunted House
Once a witch in a spooky house. She was mean. She never shares a thing. Chapter 1
The house was haunted, very haunted. A person named Tommy went in the house and saw a real baseball in there. When he got the ball everything
was baseball supplies coming mad. When he got out, he forgot the ball. He went inside to get it. Then a huge ball came down the stairs. Tommy ran as fast as he could.
Chapter 2 There was a pool for skeletons only. The witch gets shake. And, her broom got dust. That
Broom always gets dust every single hour a week. And the skeleton sleep in the pool every midnight, They have an alarm
clock. They wake up in morning at 5:00 AM, In the evening, the broom and the witch go to bed.
Chapter 3 The witch wakes up at 3:00 AM, the broom wakes up at 2:00AM
A sign said, "Beware"
spaceswordblaster reblogged
joe biden: how do i look in this chef hat, giuseppe?
giuseppe, the presidential butler: waifish and breedable as always, muy lord
joe biben: fabulous. pass me the Improbable Meat
i will have u all know i breathe nothing but the Finest Quality Airs. and they are loaded chock full with Nutrience
you wish my air is poison junior? you want me to imagine dragon breathing in the chemical? giuseppe, smite this fool
I live with her and I regret to inform everyone that she is just like this, no gas leak or drugs required
WOW
spaceswordblaster reblogged
This screenshot has been in my drafts for like a year now. I think about it a lot.
spaceswordblaster reblogged
spaceswordblaster reblogged
Screencap of a tweet by a white teenager: Damn. Jim Carrey's The Grinch be the Rizz King, no cap
An English major on Tumblr: No but do you ever think about The Grinch? All alone on his mountain. Cold. Windy. His heart is small but the heart of the Whovillians who hate him without knowing him are smaller. Cold. Their love is selective, based in material things. The tragedy is that the Grinch stole their Christmas, but they always stole his Christmas. Did they know? Did they know they were consigning him to a cold death on that mountain? The death of a heart......
Cottagecore blog with Taylor Swift lyrics URL: I never thought about that before...it's so true. This is what capitalism is doing to us...the Instagram effect...
Twitter transplant: lol it's not that deep
15 year old with thoughts on fanfiction: No but the Grinch is the VILLAIN. Don't you get that?
42 year old "fandom mom", writing a Horton Hears a Who coffeeshop AU on her lunch break at Raytheon: Um, sweetie, he may be a villain but I still wanna know what else grows five sizes ;)
LicentiousGisela: Come do chat of the sex with the ⛑️ BRAVEST 🥫 MOST BREEDABLE 🥫 CLAIMS ADJUSTER 🎳 IN NORTHEASTERN OHIO 🇻🇨😜
spaceswordblaster reblogged
spaceswordblaster reblogged
Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit
I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."
Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."
Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does
spaceswordblaster reblogged
Content Label: Mature
so many ppl on tiktok will be like ‘look at my epic style glow up omg my style used to be so cringe’ and it just shows them wearing clothes that were in fashion in 2015 and then clothes that are in fashion now like baby that’s what happens when u don’t have ur own sense of style
got called “omg vintage” by a secretary in training at the dentist’s office on sunday because i wore a shirt that was in style five years ago like. ma’am i bought that in 2016
this is WILD you can’t just leave this in the tags lmaoo
(cw: adult story below)
okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he can’t remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD.
so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that he’ll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was like “oh, so this is a recurring theme in my life” and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.
so he moved out this way and started his “dick-sucking career” anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he won’t cut it off and run or something
also as this is happening i’m waiting on x-ray results so i’m just. there lmao
and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.
and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways
the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were not “safe metals” for metal detectors (“because DIY punks are hotter” was his reason??) and he was like “do i take the dick one out too” (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking around “like a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teeth” until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him “for some hot young thing”
so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!
and then, #4, was on sunday. he was so “inspired” after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that he “went too hard” at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was like “i was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.”
and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i don’t have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID
also this was told by the most middle-aged, boring looking man on earth. like picture an accountant, but gay and VERY clumsy and funny
madhog
What was this post about again??
autisticexpression
Fashion I believe.
This is what being a comedian with ADHD is like, probably.
Content Label: Mature
The author has indicated this post may contain content that may not be suitable for all audiences.
spaceswordblaster reblogged
This is still one of the funniest things in all of music history
hi i have like thousands of listens to LMFAO on spotify and am rly autistic about them and i'd like to say that what makes this even funnier is that not only do they have those two studio albums but they also have another album called I'm in yer city trick and it's literally like 15 copies of the exact same song and the only difference is the name of the city they sing in it
it's actually 51 copies. 44 different cities and then the explicit version for 7 of them. The song always refers to a sand and a polka-dot bikini no matter where it's set. They included Chattanooga, TN. They included Grand Rapids, MI. There's an extra one for New York where they call out the names of each borough. There's one that's just called "I'm in the Desert Trick." The album is $61.49 on Amazon Music.
LMFAO condemned to wander the earth eternally as punishment for party rocking
Bless these comments, I definitely heard "I'm in the Bay Bitch" in an AMV in like 2010 and was so confused about this for years
spaceswordblaster reblogged
Cooking
spaceswordblaster reblogged
