@soysaucecas / soysaucecas.tumblr.com
1x01 // 4x03
I wanna get out. This job, this life, I hate it. I want a family, I wanna be safe. You know the worst thing I can think of? The very worst thing? Is for my children to be raised into this like I was. No, I won’t let it happen.
Do you ever remember that Sam and Dean grew up in motel rooms, often left alone for days or even weeks at a time, including during holidays where Dean had to break in someone's house to steal presents, and Dean had to steal food, and Sam never knew of a home, and they never had any friends their own age because they had to move all the time, do you ever remember this information and feel like losing your mind?
Do you ever remember that they never had any friends so Dean had to find them in TV shows and movies while Sam made up an imaginary friend, do you ever remember that Dean gave up his chance of stability at Sonny's because he couldn't abandon Sam, do you remember that Sam left his family to try and create stability for himself but it failed, the universe failed them, God failed them, their father failed them. Do you ever remember this and feel like hurling yourself towards the nearest wall?
Do you ever remember that Sam's only idea of home is the Impala but Dean jumps at the chance of having his own room, do you ever remember that they had zero privacy from each other, do you remember that half the time they weren't even in school so Sam had to fight and scrape to get accepted to college and find the money for it on his own? Do you ever remember that and want to chew glass?
destiel speedrun 12 years in 53 seconds
HOUSE S3E13
i think about that deleted scene of cas sewing up the trench coat every day of my fucking life why did they cut that its devastating he cant magically fix it anymore hes carefully poking the needle through the fabric and if he accidentally pokes himself he bleeds and the cut doesnt seal itself and im fucking dying
sam & jack // detective comics #533 “look to the mountaintop”
Sam struggles with derealization because of Hallucifer, and Eileen struggles with depersonalization because of her time being a ghost, and because of God controlling her.
Sam has times where he feels like everything else isn’t real, like any moment he could wake up back in the cage with Lucifer. Eileen has times where she feels like she’s not totally real, solid, like if she touches something her hand will go through. She also wonders if she’s making her own decisions, or if she’s still just a puppet.
Cas comforting Sam before doing something horribly painful to him like [this will be unpleasant, bite down on this, if there’s some place you find soothing you should go there, in your mind] [now Sam, this may hurt, and if I can’t tell you again, I’m so sorry I ever did this to you] [Now comes the part that will actually hurt. I’m gonna begin the extraction] and it makes me a little crazy honestly
on a show where fatherhood is defined by anger and rage and blind faith with no communication, cas the gay angel takes the time to reassure his child he’s not angry :’)
[ID: A SPN screenshot where Cas tells Jack, “Look, I’m not mad at you.” /end ID]
Good morning, darling! I’d love to give you the prompt of Sam finding out he enjoys Celine Dion (because it’s so important to me he loves her music).
good morning emily! (it’s nighttime for me so good night too) I’m going to literally go off with this prompt i am very sorry. i have a fully formed headcanon for it already so i’ll just write that out mwah
_________
Her hand was soft and insistent, wrapped around Sam’s wrist. Like a bracelet. This was guaranteed fun, Jess always was. She stopped short, squinting and Sam ran into her. “Sorry,” he whispered into her ear, hair brushing his nose. She squeezed his hand.
“Two tickets to see the Titanic re-release,” she said confidently. Sam was still half stepping on her toes, the very opposite, and he rocked back. She fiddled with her wallet, a light dandelion on the wind. All her words to him were rushed, to match the flyaways in her hair and the excited little bounce once she got the tickets.
They didn’t make it inside without sharing a tiny little bout of giggles together, right by the water fountains. She leaned against him, a steady weight against his side. “You still got them?”
Sam’s voice dropped low. “Yeah, I got them.”
Jess nodded in satisfaction, reaching out. Sam batted her hand away, eyes peeled for anyone looking around. This was an illicit operation here. As someone experienced in this kind of thing, he was duty bound to make sure they didn’t get caught. Jess turned exasperated eyes on him. “Well, if you still got some, gimme!”
“You get behind me and I’ll give you some,” Sam replied, careful and quiet, peering for any lurkers or strangers. The AMC was busy, there had been some new blockbuster. Sam didn’t go out to the movies all that often. He had a Blockbuster two streets away and he always used that-
Jess’ hands draped around his head, catching him by surprise. She leaned up, kissing the tip of his nose, then on his lips, smiling into it. “There, do we look hidden enough? No one’s watching.”
Sam bit the inside of his cheek, heart fluttering. “No one’s watching?” he confirmed.
“Yeah. Now give me my candy!”
