i had nothing. now, i'm a sales associate

i guess i never thought about it before but watching the pilot with the knowledge that mary is the hunter and not john makes it so much more fucked. she notices the noises and the flickering light (demon sign) but she’s been so caught up in stubbornly believing in the apple pie life that she ignores it. heads downstairs and sees john and immediately knows what the thing in her child’s room is. can you imagine that? that moment of realization? the guilt she must have felt, however briefly, for ignoring her instincts and letting them get rusty?

spn ladies meme || seven scenes | I’m sorry.

[ID: 8 SPN gifs of the fight scene between Anna and Mary in "The Song Remains the Same." Mary scratches Anna's hand with an angel blade, and Anna disappears, reappears, blocks Mary's arm, then throws her through a car windshield. /end ID]

When ex-hunter Mary finds out one of the local psychics is the real deal, they both find someone they can confide in about their pasts, and who can understand the pain of being separated from your family due to the supernatural. After a while, Mary finally brings up the thing she's most afraid to acknowledge- she loves her husband, she really does, but sometimes she really doesn't like him all that much and she's finding it harder and harder to escape the sense that something is really wrong. (And maybe her developing feelings for Missouri help highlight that something about her feelings for John just doesn't feel natural.)

I've seen a few different posts about the idea of Missouri and Mary getting to know each other before Mary died, but I think [this post] by @nobodydean is the one that most directly inspired this.

Image description in alt text.

you love a beautiful woman. her parents aren't pleased by your relationship. you're going to propose. she's acting strange. she approaches you and says, "let's get outta here." you black out. you wake up in her arms beside her dead father. you soon find that her mother was killed earlier. you don't know what to think. could she have done something like that? it doesn't matter. you love her. six years later your first son is born. she wants to name him after her mother. you don't know what to think. why would she do that? it doesn't matter. you love her. four years later your second son is born. she wants to name him after her father. you're not surprised. you don't understand. it doesn't matter. you love her. six months later you watch her die. you devote your life to avenging her. you destroy your career, community, sanity, and health. you destroy your family. is it what she would've wanted? it doesn't matter. you love her.

its literally marys show.... supernatural is like yeah so what if there was a woman who had been brought up in her family's violent life with no agency or way of escaping it but then when she was 17 she met a man she couldnt stand but offered her a way into normality and safety. and what if her life was manipulated by forces beyond her comprehension without her knowledge and what if she fell in love with the man she couldnt stand and what if all of that was heaven pulling on her strings and what if she got the white picket fence and the station wagon and the couple of kids and still went back to the violence anyway because she couldnt help it because she was good at it and what if the man she couldnt stand couldnt stand her either but they stuck at it because they had to because someone decided it and what if she was told again and again Do Not Get Out Of Bed On November Second 1983 and what if she was dead and a ghost and a woman in white and a real person underneath all that and then Supernatural was like. here are her sons bowlegs and hairdo they say son of a bitch and frown a lot. the show is about them actually. and killed her off in the first ten minutes

mary and missouri live three streets apart and mary takes the boys around there everyday and sam babbles on her lap and dean and james share their toy cars and mary sits quietly in a house that feels like a home. and mary reads the newspaper and makes phone calls and missouri calls her an idiot for hunting all by her lonesome with two boys to look out for and says i’ll drive. you watch my back and i’ll watch yours. mary packs up dean and sam and drives them to missouris when john is at the garage and says i’m getting out of here. come with me. but in the end mary always goes back because of the destiny and she holds her palms out to missouri and says tell me why i always do this tell me why i go back to john every time tell me why i feel like a puppet on a string. something isn’t right about marys life and she knows it and missouri knows it and neither of them really know what they’re in for and then on november 2nd 1983 mary gets out of bed and she burns and missouri thinks oh. there was more than one evil in that house. and 34 years later mary turns up on missouris door step and she says i’m getting out of here come with me and missouri says. yes

marymissouri posting. this is the post btw

everybody UNDERSTAND what i am putting down i am BEGGING. don’t you want to watch missouri and mary have an intense female friendship under their husbands noses while simultaneously attempting to outrun marys destiny…..

going insane abt annamary again haha. what if your narrative revolved around a sham marriage arranged by forces beyond your control and what if you realised that your birth and your lineage were the direct result of centuries of celestial planning meant to culminate in the literal end of the world and what if in a world governed by destiny the one true act of free will you performed was loving the angel who was destined to kill you and your son.

MARY WINCHESTER. sorry. no i’m not. i cannot stop reimagining the first two episodes of season 12 from mary’s perspective. beginning not with a recap of season 11 but the 22 years ago intro and moving swiftly into the graveyard with 37 year old dean…… and like if the episodes followed mary and JUST mary…. we already know sam and dean and how this goes so i just think taking the opportunity to see them from an awfully intimate but horrendously outsider perspective would be COOL. why isn’t supernatural ever cool

i still think the plot could stay the same bc sam being kidnapped works really well for mary. it’s just that instead of focusing on how DEAN feels about mary being here (bc that can be summed up for most of episode 1 as dumbfounded which is. to be honest. a little boring) focus more on mary. like imagine youre mary winchester and you’re having the worst day of your life ever: you say goodnight to your little baby and your little boy and then you wake up to find them effectively dead, your husband is dead, and instead you have to face the twisted looking glass of realising that not only did you never get out but you didn’t even get your children out. mary literally wakes up in her own worst nightmare and it’s REAL. and as if this wasn’t enough you ALSO have to learn that 1) your little boy is an insane serial killer man 2) angels exist apparently 3) a choice you made led your little baby to experience unimaginable horrors 4) your little baby is currently missing and being tortured 5) the internet 6) you have to rescue your little baby because that’s your LITTLE BABY all while knowing that you will have to learn to face him and see that you failed him 7) kill somebody and 8) be managed by your little boy bc youre his mommy and he can’t face putting you in danger when YOU are supposed to protect HIM. but you don’t need to because he’s a grown up. but he’s your little boy. and i know in my heart mary wanted to run the fuck away before she had been there five minutes and i think the audience should be SHOWN that so that when she DOES accept her reality (get away from my boys!!!!!) it actually has what they call emotional weight

i didn’t even mention the bunker or the killing. everything in supernatural is so normalised at this point and you know what. Season 12 is already about deconstructing the supernatural mythos (literally brings back mother mary as a deadbeat mom) so WHY don’t you USE mary to deconstruct the rest of it!!!! you could recontextualise the entirety of where sam and dean are now with a pair of fresh eyes. and i realise i’ve come back around into advocating for supernatural to have a happy ending on the sisyphean show but well WHY SHOULDNT THEY! guns and knives and spells should be scary the bunker should be scary the easiness with which dean falls into violence should be SCARY! sam getting tortured and able to withstand bc he’s been through worse should be SCARY! but of course once they become scary your audience will expect you to change them and well. We can’t have that can we

1x01 // 4x03 

johnmary posting do you ever drag the spectre of your wife along behind you on the dusty backroads. do you ever love someone so much that you will take their image and twist it into something that you can keep loving. does your devotion ever run so deep that it won’t die with them.

and is it any wonder that he was like this when you consider that the angels brought them together. of course the angels would make you love your wife like she was god. they don’t know any other way to do it

what if ghost mary's spirit was attached to the impala what would dean even do in that situation