In which Cass is the anonest anon that ever anon'd

A Scott Pilgrim AU in which Dent lives in Iris's flat (Iris who gets all the girls ever and would gladly make an exception and tap princess Dent, too (or might have tried once or twice (... or more) when drunk)) and, one day, randomly meets Satoshi, crushes hard, declares it Fate, and successfully manages to go out with him... ... until he discovers Satoshi has, basically, run away from his exes, including Shigeru, Shinji, Kasumi ("A... a girl?!" "I was curious, okay?!") and prrrrobably Pikachu. Dent has to fight them with the (sparkling) powers of Sommellerie to prove his right to stay with Satoshi. Dent's worst enemy is "N". Of course, everything is just a big, big metaphorical dream expressing Dent's fear of being replaced since the new green-haired dude came and basically swept Satoshi off his feet in Episode N. Iris heard moans during the night and punches him extra-hard in the morning.