Doctor: So what brings you in today?
Me:
Any other spoonies out there ever think that your particular assortment of maladies is so fucked up and unusual that doctors should literally be fighting with each other over who gets to treat you?
Like you are literally a human rubix cube and scientists should be begging to study you for the pure intellectual challenge of solving you and the subsequent fame and fortune that would surely follow such an achievement?
Why aren’t they lining up at my door???