sophie thatcher source

“Even when I was younger, I knew I was never going to be a missionary [and] that I was probably going to leave the church at some point because I was so distracted with acting that I could never fully be attentive or present when I was in church. I believed in the ‘what not to do,’ but I didn't know what to do. That gave me a lot of anxiety. And I think, if anything, that feeling was way more overwhelming than the positive for me growing up. I was always afraid I was going to go to hell… I remember thinking when I was 8, There's no way I'm going to Heaven. I've already fucked it all up. It's too late now. I remember when I was still in the church, I wanted so badly to be normal, and that was the only thing I could think of, I felt so different from everybody else that it was almost like this character that I was pretending to play. And that left me with a lot of guilt, too. So I think doing theater and finding other people that were big personalities and strange and had different tastes was a nice release.”