my only advice to all the girls out there is to wear weird shit. just do it

Benefits

6. You make your inner child happy and every time you do that, you heal.

Choose recovery,

Choose recovery again,

And again,

And again, and again, and again, and again.

Even if you feel like you have nothing to offer, you’re still allowed to be here. Your existence and value are not dependent on what you can do for other people.

here’s a secret: you’re not annoying, I promise! even when you talk about your feelings, even when you ramble on about that thing you found that makes you so happy, even when you need space and have to take time for yourself. you are always loved, even when you feel like you’re at your lowest. no one is judging you for thinking about yourself sometimes. you’re not selfish for taking care of yourself.

not eating means no energy and no energy means not being able to play with small doggies bc ur too weak so please look after your bodies ok do it for the doggies who want to play with u

if you were truly a bad person, you wouldn’t be so hung up on the morality of your mistakes. the fact that you want to go back and make it right means you’re growing from this and you’ll try to do better next time.

ways to become friends with yourself:

stop insulting yourself. it doesn’t help.

But what if it’s true

it still doesn’t help. you can call yourself as many names as you want, but it won’t make you a better, happier, healthier or kinder person.

punishment doesn’t work. only positive reinforcement does. be kind to yourself and get better.

Dark academia things you should NOT strive for:

We should classify dirt poor academic with a heart of gold, and a soul of raging hope...Who works their ass off to keep up and pushes against the grind as “aesthetic” Because i’m broke as hell, and I’m realizing I honestly cannot relate to classism thats hiding behind the majority of dark academia and light academia content whatsoever.

Do not tell me it isn’t there. It is.

THIS!!!

we did it, another day. alive, and one step closer to feeling better.

Honestly, healing from chronic / childhood trauma isn’t pretty, it isn’t romantic, most of the time it isn’t some beautiful story of a perfectly innocent victim rising to become strong

A lot of healing from chronic / childhood trauma is realizing there is a lot of dirt, grime, hurt, pain, and problematic behaviors and beliefs that living in such an environment has instilled inside of you.

It is realizing a lot of things you thought were normal were not, and a lot of the things you’ve done that you thought were given truths and normal things about the world were false, not needed, and hurtful to others and yourself around you.

A lot of people want a healing story that is inspiring and beautiful - with a clear abuser and a clear victim - someone who was clearly 100% perfect, innocent and never did anything wrong in life and someone who was clearly 100% evil, intentional, corrupt, and malicious. The hero / villian story of trauma, abuse, and recovery is so much easier to digest both for others and the person, but the reality is - living through hell instills and causes people to learn things that aren’t 100% perfect and innocent.

No trauma survivor or victim deserves what happened to them, nor did they ask for it in any form, but it isn’t abnormal for one to unknowingly after growing up and living in an environment that was dangerous, harmful, and painful to learn things that aren’t the best in the general world.

Trying to heal, mistakes will be made, a lot of unlearning and relearning will happen. People - especially children and teenagers who grew up in these environments - will likely reenact what happened to them or use defensive mechanisms that aren’t the best that they got from assuming the world is like their home.

Many will do things that aren’t “okay” or are “problematic” because that is all they know. This isn’t to say it is okay or excusable. This isn’t to say you should forgive anyone who did this to you.

This is to those who did bad things in the past that they punish themselves for, hate themselves for, the bad things they did due to being young and in a stage of survival.

The past does not define you and you were young and living by what you were taught growing up. You are not a horrible person because of how you learned to live. Who you are is found in the present and the future and in what you do now and what you do later.

You can and deserve to forgive yourself and your younger selves for what had happened when you knew little more.

You aren’t horrible or terrible. 

Being young is hard

Being a teen is hard

Having trauma is hard

Having chronic trauma is hard.

Being young and growing up in an environment conducive to chronic trauma is even harder.

You deserve and are allowed to forgive yourself and move forward and heal.

You deserve to heal just like anyone else.

Block Gaslighting:

(Only use those in non-dangerous situation, I know a lot of abusers will turn more dangerous and violent if their gaslighting is rejected. You can still say these in your head to keep yourself sane. You can always, in 100% cases trust your memory over what they say happened. And know if they’re trying to get you enraged with their lies they’re only doing it because it’s easy to manipulate a person once they’re overwhelmed with emotions, keep aware that their words hold no ground at all.)