An MRA blog

Updating my pinned post:

- Everyone is welcome on the blog. No DNI's (they're kind of pointless IMO). Everyone is welcome to, as they say, interact. Just be respectful, that's all I ask. Even if you heavily disagree

- If you say something hateful, it will be ignored. Any rude asks or messages will be deleted. Don't waste your time

- I sometimes struggle to understand what I'm reading. If I ever give out false information, it's surely not intentional. Correct me (nicely) and I'll change it. I try not to let that happen, by reading it several times

- I'm totally open to answering questions. They dont even have to be about mens rights. Nothing inappropriate, though

- As I've already said in my current pinned post, I'm not trying to generalize in my posts. So when I'm talking about feminism, I'm not saying all feminists are like this or whoever I'm talking about

- I am a Christian but you really won't be seeing a whole lot of Christianity themed posts on here (out of respect for those that aren't and because this is about men's rights)

When I say I'm anti feminist, it has to do with how the modern feminism movement acts. No, I am not saying we shouldn't have gotten the right to vote or something. No, I don't hate other women. I dislike the movement and don't what to associate myself with it

I have received a lot of asks wondering why I’m anti feminist (especially because of what I post about), telling me that feminism is also for men, etc etc. So I want to clarify on this and I’m putting this response here  and will not be answering anymore asks like that. I understand people have questions; it’s just easier to put it here.

And just like any other time, I want to start off by saying that this is not about all feminists. There are good feminists out there and I acknowledge that.  This is about the not-so-good ones so please, don’t take this as me lumping you all together because that’s not what this is. This is me simply sharing why I can’t be apart of the movement.

What do you mean by “anti feminist”?

People have this idea of what anti feminism means. They think it’s someone who believes women shouldn’t have rights and we should have society like it was in the past where men were the breadwinners and women stayed home to do the housework and caring for the children. That is not what I believe. I understand there are actual sexist people out there who do say they’re anti feminist but I believe that for the majority of people (myself included) that is not representative of their beliefs.

I have my issues with the movement which I will detail below. These are not in any particular order of importance.

- The movement is not as supportive and empowering as it claims to be

Feminism is said to be this supportive group of women that are there to empower each other, to get through the issues that women face together and be a sisterhood that women can fall back on. But it’s not like that when you look past what we’re being told. For starters, a good number of them are like the misogynists that we’re warned about. Aren’t we told to lift each other up? Aren’t we told that as women we shouldn’t be knocking each other down? It seems like that goes out the door once you start hearing terms like “pick me” or that we’re being influenced/brainwashed by the patriarchy or the men in our lives or we get told something like, “I hope you learn to love yourself”

It’s blatantly sexist, is what it is. Why is me (or other women) wanting equality for men too or seeing flaws within the feminist movement a sign that I want attention from guys? Why is it a sign that I can’t form my own thoughts, therefore they must come from someone else? Why is it a sign that I don’t love myself? Why is it a sign that I hate other women?

Better yet, why is it okay to be sexist to someone as long as they’re an “acceptable” target? It doesn’t make sense to have all this talk about misogyny but while also perpetuating it. This is another thing that isn’t spoken up about enough. It’s something that’s pushing people away from the movement and has feminists wondering why. Well, that’s part of it. The thing is, it isn’t even something that just happens to those that are anti feminist or whatever. It also happens to feminists. They'll turn on each other if someone disagrees.

I understand that in a movement, especially as big as this, will have its flaws. I know it isn’t going to be perfect and perfection isn’t what I’m looking for. But you have to be conscious of what you’re putting out there. When you say you’re against something, you can’t cherry pick. You can’t be against it for this one instance but be okay with it for others. You can’t say sexism is bad here but okay that way. That takes away from your credibility.

- It’s extremely hostile

It’s one thing to be passionate about what you believe in, but it’s another to be downright vile. There is no reason to resort to name calling or something. If you disagree with something, then either scroll on or calmly and maturely discuss it. Oftentimes that isn’t what happens. That’s part of what drives people away from it. The attitudes from a lot of people are off putting.

- There are mixed messages regarding men’s issues

On one hand, you hear about how feminism has done a lot more for men’s issues than the men’s rights movement. On the other hand, you see the reaction that men’s rights gets.

I don’t think all feminists hate men. I know there are feminists out there that care about men’s rights as well and I think that’s great. I’m glad. I just don’t think the movement is as sympathetic towards what men go through as it tries to say it is. There’s some contradiction there. We’re hearing them say one thing but then their actions say another. They are actively doing the opposite.

I put this example in my answer to a previous ask but I’ll put it here as well: Let’s imagine that you saw my blog and I’m saying hateful things about gay and trans people on here. I make up a hashtag about wanting them all dead and I keep saying “gays are trash”. You would come to the naturel conclusion that I hate them, wouldn’t you? Then you see me get called out for it and I get defensive; I try to justify it because I’ve had a bad experience with those people and I’m just letting out some frustration and that I’m allowed to vent. I don’t hate them.

But it doesn’t stop. Are you really going to believe that I'm all for equality as I say I am? Probably not and with good reason.

This is what I’m trying to say about feminism. We’re seeing hateful things all while being told otherwise.

If the movement truly cared as much as it tries to say it does, then we wouldn't be seeing the pushback we do when men's issues are brought up. I'm talking about instances where the issue has its own post. That shouldn't be a problem. It doesn't take away from the discussion about women's issues.

So i was looking through the instagram page of Inside Edition and found thirty five posts so far about mostly female teachers who acted inappropriately with their (mostly) male students (whether that was messaging them, meeting up, actual rape)

I didn't expect there to be such hostility in the comment section of recipe videos

It's insaaaane

I've seen a post quite a number of times on Facebook, most recently the other day, that says what's more embarrassing than being in your 20s and not having your driver's license?

And I think it's just ridiculous. There are reasons someone might not have their license

They're disabled in some way that means they can't drive

They have some other medical condition

They live in a place where they don't really have to drive

They prefer to use other means of transportation

They have an abusive parent/guardian that won't let them get one as a means of controlling them

Whatever reason it may be, there's no reason to act like it's a failure on their end and that it should be considered embarrassing. Not everybody gets the chance to get their license the second they turn 16 (or whatever the age is in other places)

It's completely okay to be a teenager or older and to go trick or treating

Please don't feel embarrassed about it

It's free candy, man

Nothing wrong with that

This is about abusive mothers but can obviously also be for fathers, guardians, other family members

It can be hard to get help for yourself, to get out of the situation or to even have boundaries to protect yourself because when they have this really good reputation in the eyes of other people, they'll look down on you (some of them)

You're given the side-eye because all they know is the person that she's pretended to be in front of them

They don't know what's gone on behind closed doors. They don't know (or in some cases, they simply don't care) about all the trauma you've dealt with

In the same way that an abusive spouse can do sweet gestures and whatnot, it doesn't negate the fact that they've abused you. The same goes for an abusive parent (in this case, the mother)