My anxiety piled up again yesterday. I was at the barn and just started my riding lesson and everything was just not working out. My trainer was yelling at me. 10 min later my horse pulled up lame, and now I'm worried sick that he may have pulled his suspendatory in his back leg again and I realized I am just so unhappy. (I've worked the past half year with him getting him back into shape and into a riding horse again, I don't want all that work to go to waste)

Then she berated me and let another student comment on my riding and left me feeling embarrassed as if I never rode in my life before and don't know shit. And I had to walk out of the ring without saying a word because I was so mad and frustrated, holding back tears, and my horse was hobbling behind me, and she didn't even tell me what foot he was lame on, just told me to go hose his legs down, because it's so hard to tell if he pulled a ligament because you don't feel signs.

And now I'm just so stressed today because I'm travling for the rest of the week and don't know if my horsie will be fine or if it's more serious and I just feel like a bad person. 😭

On top of that, I got into a argument with my husband and now I'm just like. Wtf is wrong with me. And i can't find a job, and I'm trying to stay positive and it's just really really hard.