Stede Bonnet is the picture of 1700s gentlemanly masculinity. Stede was also twice called 'heavyset' by the same people who mockingly called him a woman but he's not actually that either now is he? Its almost as if bullies say things that aren't true because they think its funny and they know it'll get to you.
Izzy did not say any of that because of what Ed was wearing, Izzy didn't give two shits until he saw Stede in Ed's leathers with his weapons. (and the actual quote is 'you're just an insane, unpleasant, shell of a man who's merely posing as Blackbeard', if you're gonna quote the show to prove your point then at least get it right) leave alone that Izzy was upset because they were being chased by the Spanish and Ed was playing dress-up while Izzy was begging him (as the person in charge) for a plan, y'know, to not die.
Ed was going through a crisis and making drastically life changing decisions in that floral robe (again, belonging to someone who is the ideal of masculine gentlemanly fashion of the time) Izzy didn't say anything through the blanket fort or the talent show, the cleaning wasn't what made him speak either, what did it was Ed deciding unilaterally that they were all going to quit pirating immediately after defecting from the king's service.
Izzy says shit he doesn't mean when he's stressed and fearing for his life. He apologized for the first outburst we see from him (which Ed tells him he's correct for saying) and he likely would have apologized for the second once they both had time to cool their heads but Ed chose to go all scorched-earth and take that chance at reconciliation away from either of them.
He goes for 'PINING for his BOYfriend' because 1. he's jealous, and 2. it serves to minimize what Stede was to Ed so that he stops feeling the big 'make a life changing decision' emotions over him and he can move on in a more reasonable mindset, to get back to pirating, which keeps them alive. Healthy? No. Homophobic? Also fucking no???
And jesus christ can we please stop pretending like 'namby pamby' is some big bad slur? Come on now. The show doesn’t go for actual slurs, do we really think they’re gonna go for kiddie glove ‘slurs’ to make a point that the little leather-daddy dude who parallels Stede’s wife is homophobic in a show that the writers and cast and crew have said ‘has no homophobia’ in it?
You’re entitled to your (bad) opinions and your (bad) reads on the characters and all but you have to realize that not everyone agrees, they’re not canon, and this is a pretty fucking rude and dismissive comment to leave on a post you could have just ignored.