Someone as Good as You

(This is for this ancient writing meme. My askbox is here if anyone wants to shoot me a different combo!)

Oh shit this is going to get long because I had the MOST EXCELLENT idea and as soon as I finish this chapter of the hitman!AU I’m legit going to start working on this one.

SO. Coffee shop + Magical Accident AU:

This is not an all human!AU. I don’t know if Trixie will be in it. Probably not? It would just be too complicated and my brain can’t think of a way to make it work, as you will see.

Chloe is a human trapped in the fae realm. A long time ago, she accidentally wandered into a coffee shop she was not meant to be in, and bought a drink, and has been trapped ever since. She ended up working in the coffee shop, and she doesn’t hate it, but she wishes she weren’t trapped there.

Lucifer is the Devil, and he accidentally wanders into this fae coffee shop that he shouldn’t’ve been able to find, never mind cross the threshold. Because he’s the Devil, and already not human, he can’t be trapped there. Which is a good thing, because he doesn’t realize that Something Isn’t Right in this coffee shop for a while.

When he does, it’s because he has been flirting with Chloe for a while and is falling in love with her and is like “Chloe. I have to tell you something. I’m the Devil.”

And she’s like “lol I don’t believe sin Christian deities I’ve been working in this shop too long.”

And he’s like “??????? What does that have to do with anything?”

And she’s like “?????? I’m mortal?????”

And he’s like “yes, obviously?????????”

And she’s like “AND THIS IS A FAE COFFEE SHOP???????”

And he’s like “What the fuck faeries aren’t real.”

And she gestures around in exasperation and he’s like “…oh”

But she still doesn't believe he's the devil and he doesn't want to like devil face her because it would scare her and their friendship would be over because he’s a big dumb.

And he’s like “why are you here?”

And she’s like “I accidentally wandered in and had a drink.”

And he’s like “……..” And looking at his drink.

And she knows he isn’t mortal but she assumes he’s some kind of fae she never met before, so she’s like “lol what are you worried about?”

And he’s like “I’m the Devil, darling, it would hardly be fitting if I were trapped in the fae realm.”

And she’s like “oh, you.”

And eventually he finds out she’s Trapped and he loves her and This Can Not Stand.

So he drags her on an Adventure to the heart of the realm and is like HELLO GIVE THIS HUMAN BACK HER LIFE. PLEASE.

And the faerie queen is like “hmmm ok but only if you can hold onto her” and he’s like ??????????? And the faerie queen is like “go on, shoo, you’ll see”.

And he’s still like ??????? All the way back as he’s holding hands with Chloe (at some point she finds out he really is the Devil during this journey just F Y I). Chloe is all :( because she knows what that means, and she tells him, “when we leave, don’t let go” but her eyes are dim because she knows it’s impossible.

And so they leave through the coffee shop and Chloe turns into a bunch of beasts a la Tam Lin and Lucifer manages to hold on to her and she eventually stops and is human and he’s like “Darling! You’re free!!!!!!!!!!”

And she turns to him

And says

“Who are you?”

THE END

:) :) :) Let me know if you want to hear about the sequel :) :) :)

ETA: Sequel talked about here.