I think polyamory should be used to make romance subplots even more convoluted, actually. Sure, it could theoretically solve a love triangle- but it could also make things infinitely more chaotic and that's way better.

Some ideas:

Political marriages in a society where polyamory was a cultural norm would be a fucking NIGHTMARE <3

On a more serious note: a lot of representation in general either has it as the main plot beat, or are going for a "its so normalized we're not even going to bring it up" route. What I'd like to see more often is it being relevant, but not the focal point of a character or plot.

Aspencore

the tone makes this sound like they have a recurring problem with people trying to join after a bad breakup and are just sick of this shit

'People who are getting away from a bad breakup' was a major source of recruits for the French Foreign Legion.

I have worked a lot of remote jobs and you have no idea how common it is for someone who just had or got out of a bad interpersonal relationship to decide that they need to find themselves out in the woods and work on their issues, so then they go and get a job that requires close contact with limited group of people and no one else for months on end. And then when they make their bad decisions, (the rebound boyfriend, the one night stand, the long drawn out cry sesh with a bottle of booze in the middle of the night on a work day) they're still stuck with the same 6 people on a mountaintop for another 7 weeks who are all forced into front row seats to bear witness to the ongoing character development until the guy who is nominally in charge has to make a rule about no fucking in the cook tent, because its the only structure big enough for us all to get out of the rain and while we're all glad that Sarah is taking charge of her own life after her boyfriend cheated on her by fucking literally the only eligible man for 200 miles in every direction, the rest of us would like a hot meal.

Want quick tips to add instant chemistry to the relationships of your characters??

(🥳With examples🥳)

First of all, I want to say that you can also use most of them for platonic/ non-romantic relationships, so feel free to use this tips however you think they might work better in your story. So, without further adue, let's get to the tips!!!

Other tips for writers: previous | next

I just saw a post that deeply annoyed me because it went, "Here's a story that's like a Regency romance, but I FIXED it by making the characters sexually liberated and shame-free and polyamorous!"

This is like saying, "Here's a story that's like a thriller, but I FIXED it by having the serial killer go to therapy instead of trapping victims in his evil maze and dismembering them."

.

The thing a lot of people don't seem to get is that the entire appeal of a Regency romance is watching a deeply repressed, perfectly controlled, buttoned up, straight-laced person who has never expressed an emotion before fall so hard for someone that something in them just breaks and they come completely unhinged.

It's a very specific kink that this genre is tapping into.

People who think the characters in a Regency novel are boring are missing the whole point. The characters are supposed to be boring, right up until they fall so madly in love that it drives them insane, at which point they become very interesting. Regency romance novelists are doing the writing equivalent of putting plain white featureless uncooked whole eggs in a microwave and waiting for them to explode.

patience is such a compelling dynamic in relationships sorryyy it’s the peak of romance to me

“i’m not ready” “i’ll wait” and i’ll be in shambles

once again opening a ship tag on AO3 and opening a dozen fics and closing out of almost all of them immediately because they would not fucking act like that

why is it – i know why. this is a rhetorical question – that so many people have a fixed idea of what A Romance looks like and will mold the characters to fit it. rather than molding what the romance looks like to fit how the characters think and act.

like. i am drawn to repressed sarcastic bastards who would rather run into a burning building than verbalise their feelings. that is their appeal. why are you having them say 'i love you' while holding their partner's hands in full view of two dozen other people. stop that. they wouldn't fucking do that. other things can be a love confession. other things can be a display of affection. have you never anticipated someone's needs! done a task they hate without having to be asked! remembered their favourite food! rearranged your plans for their convenience! punched someone in the gut for insulting them! have some damn imagination!!!

hallmark movies won't tell you this but the love languages are actually access intimacy, in-jokes, learning the little details, attack dogism, and voluntary vulnerability

"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?

knight/lord ships are like. what if i would die for you. what if i wanted you to live for me. what if i wanted to touch you but could only be satisfied with being near you. what if i could touch you but only through the safety of our gloves. what if i couldn’t stop thinking about you right next to me. what if i bloodied my hands for you and never looked back at the wreckage. what then

what if i wasn’t allowed to love you. what if i loved you anyway. what if you knew and i knew but we wouldn’t dare to take that step. what if we made meaningful eye contact as i knelt at your feet and devoted my whole being to you. what if i whispered your name for only you to hear

“my lord” is actually something that can be so personal

what if i said “my lord” but i actually meant “my love”

A GOOD ROMANCE STARTS WITH A GOOD FRIENDSHIP. A GOOD ROMANCE STARTS WITH A GOOD FRIENDSHIP. A GOOD ROMANCE STARTS WITH A GOOD FRIENDSHIP. A GOOD ROMANCE STARTS WITH A GOOD FRIENDSHIP. A GOOD ROMANCE STARTS WITH A GOOD FRIENDSHIP.

a bad romance starts with “ra ra ah ah ah. ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la”

the difference between romantic love and platonic love is mostly intent

love lives in the cultivation of it!!! if you want a relationship, any relationship to thrive you have to build it and grow it and nurture it. you have to be honest and respectful and vulnerable and affectionate. there are some things most people only do with romantic partners, but that’s mostly a matter of taste and custom. people have sexual encounters with friends. people have love affairs without ever having sex. people co-habitat with friends. people live in separate dwellings from their spouses. love isn’t a feeling or an instinct. it’s a sustained, mutual effort. ultimately your relationship is what y’all mutually decide it is and what y’all mutually make the effort to create together.

There are little romance subplots all around me irl and I don't have the time to turn any of them into novels

Today I went to my favorite Italian restaurant and was seated at the table nearest the kitchen. We noticed a change to the menu. The list of pastas had been replaced by just "pasta of the day." We asked what the pasta of the day was. The waiter told us it was a mystery. So we ordered it, and when it came it was pasta with eggs and bacon, and I was so surprised and delighted by this unexpected whimsy that I started to clap. And then I noticed the chef watching me from the doorway and smiling. He had clearly come out wanting to see what people's reactions would be.

I'm not saying I love the chef or that the chef loves me. I am saying that is a seed with which to grow a romance that I don't have time to write.

Romance seedling of the day:

Tonight I went to a party and a woman asked me my name.

"Anna," I said.

"This confirms my theory," she said loudly, to the entire room. People stopped to listen. "ALL Anna's are drop dead gorgeous!"

I felt v flattered. I asked for her name.

She flashed me a grin. "Anna."

Irl, do I love her and does she love me? No. But this is the seed of another romance book I don't have the time to write.

I was miserable. At a parade! All of my friends were drunk and misbehaving and smelled of rancid tequila. I felt alone and about a million years old. The sun was glaring daggers into my eyeballs.

And then! At this parade! A very large beautiful man I didn't know! Saw me squinting! Said, "I'm can block the sun for you" and stepped in front of me. My sun-blindness cleared into a vision of his gentle smile.

He was a mathematics professor! Very sober, soft-spoken, kind. Did not insult my drunk friends but also stood carefully apart from them. The perfect balance.

Do I love him? No. But he's a romantic hero in a book somewhere in the multiverse.

#these are very good example of what just looking and watching can add to your writing#i do this - not always for romance purposes but i just PAY ATTENTION to the people around me#because ordinary people are interesting and everyone has their own story#and they can inspire you in ways you'd never come up with yourself

Yes! This was a post about getting into the writing mindset.

I wasn't trying to share special memories or make a statement about the goodness of humanity (totally fine if that's what you got from this!). But this is a tool any writer could add to their toolbox: finding tidbits from life not merely through neutral observation but by observing the world through the lens of your own writing philosophy.

I write romance books. The romance genre at its best gives every kind of person the opportunity to be the hero of their own story. For me, observing the world through my writing philosophy means acknowledging the heroism intrinsic in us all. Thinking: What if this person were the romantic hero? Why would someone fall in love with them? For folks writing different kinds of stories, the approach may differ, but it'll still be creatively generative.

it always sucks in romances when characters aren't active participants in their own relationship or attraction. when it's always "why do i feel this way" and they can't name a single reason they like the love interest i'm like idk man i think you should get out of there maybe.

at some point if you're going too hard on the Genuine Confusion and the character having no clue why they're doing anything they're doing or why they even like the other party it's like. I think you were cursed by a wizard. or an author, which is something similar. it becomes something akin to The Narrative Has Mandated That This is A Love Story and Therefore I Must Be In Love rather than like. a convincing romance between parties who care about each other

Apologies. This follow-up is mostly going to be me yelling into the abyss out of accumulated irritation after more than ten thousand notes and having to see every tag in the world in my activity feed.

That Being Said: I Enjoy Romances. Romance is one of my favorite genres.

The reason I made this post is in fact because I like romance as a genre So Much that I have many thoughts and feelings about its relative craftmanship and what makes a romance well-executed

So! It's a little disheartening when I see a flood of responses about how This is Just How Romance Is, or how this is the main reason people dislike romance media! Because as someone who has suffered the various slings and arrows of the genre and has been steeped in it for their entire life, I would like to put forth the argument that Poorly-Executed Romances are Not The Same As Well-Executed Romances, Actually

A romance is still a story, and it's still a narrative. Character motivations should make sense! The plot should be compelling! Emotions and logistics should flow in such a way that the audience can find it compelling! A good romance, like any good story, should cohere! It should not, by virtue of its genre, be shuffled into a box labeled 'mindless drivel that's not worth examining because it's always silly and shallow'!!!

Note for anyone who wants to write on the theme of "Why Am I Having These Feelings?":

If you want to do it well, you generally need to do two things. One, you need to make sure the audience knows why these feelings are there, even if the main character hasn't caught on yet. If you want a genuine love story, the love interest should demonstrate some lovable traits at some point or other. They need to do something cool, or clever, or kind, or just show a little vulnerability. It doesn't have to be something big, just so long as it's meaningful to the main character.

The second thing is that there should be some reason why the main character can't figure out what's going on - preferably something other than "the main character is just dumb" which might well be true but can feel like the author is just pulling strings. Other options may include:

And of course, the ever-popular:

Good addition in the tags courtesy of @tolrais

it always sucks in romances when characters aren't active participants in their own relationship or attraction. when it's always "why do i feel this way" and they can't name a single reason they like the love interest i'm like idk man i think you should get out of there maybe.

at some point if you're going too hard on the Genuine Confusion and the character having no clue why they're doing anything they're doing or why they even like the other party it's like. I think you were cursed by a wizard. or an author, which is something similar. it becomes something akin to The Narrative Has Mandated That This is A Love Story and Therefore I Must Be In Love rather than like. a convincing romance between parties who care about each other

maybe just maybe.... never experiencing romantic love isn't a bad thing besties

even if you are someone who wants a romantic relationship, not experiencing one isn't a death sentence. its still perfectly possible to lead a happy and fulfilled life without romantic love so maybe we should stop acting like it isn't.

i keep seeing ppl tagging this as like "but I'm sad" or "fuck you I want a husband" and like... ok? you can want a relationship. but it's not going to fix you, and if you expect someone to come along and make you happy you are Not going to have a good time, and probably gonna hurt your partner/s in the process. romantic love is not a magical gateway to happiness, and there is nothing bad about never experiencing it.

Not experiencing romantic love is neutral at worst, you've just been brainwashed into thinking you need to be in a relationship to be whole and happy. the only person who can actually make your life better and make you happy is yourself.

i just adore the concept of a romance with a ghost. falling in love with a person who’s barely a person at all. the inherent tragedy of it. something both impermanent and immortal. u know it’s sure to be a doomed dalliance, but you love this dead thing anyway

like… falling in love with someone forever unchanging but who can slip from your grasp at any time (literally and figuratively). a memory manifested. what is it like to kiss someone who isn’t really there?

okay but saying “i wish i had known you sooner” — like the love in my heart is growing so big and fast for you that i wish i had the opportunity to have you way earlier by my side, because i want to love you longer than i can do now. my love for you reaches my past and makes a place for you.