'Can it be a coincidence? It can be.'
'But I've rarely seen so many patterns across a number of accidents that I start tracing a system.'
'Rats smoked all the plants. I watched it happen.'
'And I encouraged them, and— partook.'
'Unfortunately, calculus jokes are derivative. Trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes can be formulaic. And arithmetic jokes are quite basic.'
'But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.'
'I am good at recognising patterns, but I'm not a fortune teller.'
'I can try to assist, but I can't predict the future.'
'Two science officers walk up to a food synthesizer. The first one says: "Computer, I'll have— a glass of H2O." The second one says: "Computer, I'll have a glass of water too. Hey, why are you being weird? We're not at work anymore. You don't have to refer to water like that".'
'The rest of the day, the first science officer sulks over his failed assassination attempt.'
'If I say what everybody else is thinking, does that make me a mean person?'
The inquiry is genuine.
'I've heard such unfavourable statements to describe you that I immediately knew—-'
'You'll be one of the most intriguing people I have ever met.'
Helena strolled with committed determination, rummaging through the list of tasks and projects in her mind. Methodically, she browsed topics in order to analyse and sort what was completed from what was yet to be carried out. She mentally flicked those assignments she couldn't finalise at the time without meeting specific requirements, thus "setting those aside".
She stopped abruptly, lost like a tiny, oblivious creature. Hel stood motionless in the middle of the corridor. Could it be? Nah. Surely not. She double-checked as a deep frown touched her features. The erratic tap of her foot was something she noticed too late. Hectically, she glanced around, searching for a place to drop down and be seated.
Having let a few measured breaths, Hel put a firm hand over the knee and steadied her leg. Eyes fluttering shut, she willed herself not to panic. It's alright. Everything will be fine. There was no way she had accomplished every single scheme available to her. And yet… The truth of her status hit her - currently, everything was done. Apparently, she was out of work.
'Someone I knew used to tell me I'm like a cat.'
'Hard to read and emotionally unavailable.'
'The more bizarre a thing is—'
'The less mysterious it proves to be.'
'Did you know—'
'That 69.42% of all statistics are made up?’
'Books—'
'—computers, for going to sleep.'
'Have you tried— reversing the polarity—'
'Of— something?'
Hel didn't normally do this. Or did she? Who could tell since people rarely saw what the woman was up to in those rare moments when she was not indulging in schemes.
Currently, she has taken one of the weirdest positions imaginable. While her body was technically resting on the seat, head and shoulders were hanging off it, bun-styled hair nearly reaching the ground. She looked almost liquid, legs on the back of the couch. Not only was she upside down, but she was also reading a book called "Security. Science and analysis. Complex integrated systems."
She was hungover, you see, after a fun night spent in alien company. And she was dealing with it by… hanging over. Literally.
'My brother and I were so diametrically opposed. Two different parts of a whole.'
'Put together, we would have made a remarkable individual.'
Despite indulging in occasional cooking as a hobby, Helena doesn't bake since it requires slightly more planning and ingredients she doesn't usually use. Plus - another skillset altogether.
Sometimes, however, she comes across a recipe that's borderline affordable. That is why she's now demonstrating a freshly made matcha terrine, gently nudging the other to try it.
'Have you been living under a rock?'
'You know what, get back under that rock. There's nothing up here. It's not worth it.'