lighght

I remember what it felt like to sit on the cusp of your love

When you looked at me with newness and grace

Tonight I sit in the grief of knowing we were so close

We almost had each other, if only for a moment

We slipped through time and I can see when we overlapped,

Blurring in motion,

You covered me.

Now I’m talking to the walls,

Wondering where you’ve been and how you got there.

My golden boy, my smoking matchbook, my underlined sonnet,

The loss of you is roaring through the night

I’m another life, you said,

with your head tilted downward and arm outstretched.

I watch you slip away from my seat.

Moonlight pulses through my veins,

a life un-lived tethering the one right in front of me.

My mirror, my reminder, my blood-soaked river,

I’ll spend forever searching for this feeling you handed me.

also moving to the pnw from texas has changed me in so many ways but being able to sit in the sand by the water has especially made me better

Lover without a place to put it all,

Fighter without a battle to pour rage into,

I pull your thread loose until you unravel.

And when I cared for you I felt most myself.

I press my breasts into the shower glass and let the water burn my back,

I pick up the phone without a number to call back.

Endless dial tone, a basement of misspoken words collecting dust,

At 27 I recognize myself less than ever.