he sure customized the delivery experience

girl chill there’s literally all kinds of everything everywhere

whoever made the decision to make umpires wear cameras... you are a legend

this is genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

beg for your life, tennis boy

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

The Substance (2024) // Shrek (2001) & Shrek 2 (2004)

might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

i have to pee

hamster request denied

you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

😍fuck

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

tags by @eridan-ampora

Update: this is the best post I've ever made because everyone is sharing their Warm Beverage recipes in the notes. Go check the notes for more Warm Beverages That Will Fix You.

my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “daylight savings time” youll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

1 hour and 5 minutes later: dude I swear it’s only been 5 minutes

my friend the oven, pacing: the smart devices are lying to us

yea i have a real girlfriend. her names… mysterious. mysterious blood pyramid. she goes to a different school

wheres seasons greasons

its that time of year again

It doesn’t have to be

its not optional

this is KILLING me

Man who is waiting for you to answer his riddle

Reblog if your blog is boopable-safe so you can get all the (probably new) achievements. I don’t care about notes I just want boops

Boop PSA, for Mobile Users:

To Boop - either tap the boop button next to someone's name or go to their blog and tap the cat paw icon

To Super Boop - go to someone's blog and hold the cat paw icon until it spins once, then let go

To Evil Boop - go to someone's blog and hold the cat paw icon until it spins twice, then let go

Can't Boop - either you or the person you're trying to Boop hasn't opted in yet

To Opt In - go to your feed and you'll see the boop-o-meter and the option to opt in

I'll update this when I know how to get certain badges and such.

FOR THE LAST TIME

👏 APOSTASY is the rejection of a faith after having professed it;

👏 HERESY is selective belief in only some of the tenets of a faith one professes, or belief in tenets contrary to those of a faith one professes;

👏 BLASPHEMY is derogation of the honour due to God.

and babey I'm a triple threat