Sire… It Must Be… SAUCERY

First off, context:

In 3x04, Gwaine wakes up naked in a stranger’s bed. How do we know he’s fully naked, not just waist-up? Because his stab wound was on his thigh, meaning that his pants would have been removed to properly treat the wound. He may be wearing underwear, but in any case, the positioning of the blanket over his hips and legs is a deliberate attempt to cover nudity.

So, Gwaine wakes up naked in a stranger’s bed. He looks around the room, having never seen it before. He took a hit to the head that knocked him out, plus he was drinking the day prior, so we can infer that he has a headache and other symptoms that he would interpret as a hangover. Most importantly: he has absolutely no memory of the night before.

Gwaine wakes up naked in a stranger’s bed, with a hangover based on Gwaine’s limited knowledge, and with no memory of the night before. Merlin walks in carrying breakfast (a gesture common after a one night stand) and pauses in the doorway when he sees that Gwaine is already awake. He stares in silence for Unspoken Reasons while Gwaine stares back, seeming unsure of himself.

At this point, and taking Gwaine’s lifestyle into account, he has every reason to suspect that they may have had a one night stand. It’s not impossible. It’s even, from his perspective, probable. Again, he wakes up naked, sore, and hungover in a stranger’s bed with no memory of the night before. It’s a classic set-up.

From here, Gwaine asks, “What am I doing in this bed?” This is an oddly specific phrasing. He could have asked, “Where am I?” or “What am I doing here?” but instead he is focused on and draws attention to the bed aspect. Simultaneously, the vagueness of the statement is meant to allow for another answer besides the one that is on his mind, in case his assumption is in fact incorrect. This avoids insult, awkwardness, homophobia, etc.

It’s worth remembering that his line here is written with intent, especially in the episode that introduces and establishes his character. When the censors are in action, a gay one night stand joke has to be subtle and layered in plausible deniability. In other words, if this “family friendly” series was allowed to be more explicit in its meaning, Gwaine may have instead simply said, “Did we- you know…”