If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.
a (not-so) happy twenty-four years to three unlucky orphans, and their subsequent series of unfortunate events ✨🔥📕
books
violet’s the one that finds them first—a battered copy of the bad beginning at a library discard sale. it’s been annotated in a dozen hands, a priceless artifact. they track down the remaining twelve books in similarly distressed states. klaus and then sunny pour over them until they have to rebind the fragile volumes.
violet doesn’t think she needs to know, not more than what klaus tells her at least, late at night when none of them can sleep, trying desperately to find beatrice. but there is something klaus is not telling her, something—she thinks—that might be best learned herself.
as much as I love portrayals of the sun and moon as a (lesbian) couple, the greeks were really on to something when they said "actually they're siblings who disapprove of each other's life choices"
hair fairy reporting for duty 🫡✨💁🏼♀️
tumblr's text editor is my mortal enemy actually
next lemony snicket book i'd like is an asoue journal of a novel -esque thoughtful correspondence featuring the kind editor, my beloved
dear pat — you came upon me carving some kind of little figure out of wood and you said, “why don’t you make something for me?” i asked you what you wanted and you said, “a box.” “what for?” “to put things in.” “what things?” “whatever you have.” you said. well here’s your box. nearly everything i have is in it, and it is not full. pain and excitement are in it, and feeling good or bad and evil thoughts and good thoughts — the pleasure of design and some despair and the indescribable joy of creation. and on top of these are all the gratitude and love i have for you. and still the box is not full. john
@asouefanworkevent day five of woevember : books, alternatively titled, to my kind editor.
1970's interior color palettes >>>
disguises
sunny baudelaire is always wearing a disguise.
brightly colored dresses mid way down her thigh. (shorts concealed underneath so she is always ready to run.)
lipgloss and a smudge of soft brown eyeliner like someone told her she was too young to wear makeup and is pushing boundaries like a normal preteen girl. (the rusting whisk she keeps in her pocket.)
a crooked, unassuming smile. (a practiced threat against the willfully ignorant.)
braces over crooked teeth. (grief and a pocket knife she keeps in her other pocket.)
a perfectly ordinary 12 year old girl. (something else. she doesn’t know what.)
@asouefanworkevent woevember day 4: the Bominating Beast, as represented by a frame from The Maltese Falcon (1941)
i didn’t finish the edit for today lol
i wondered if villainy was like armstrong feint, someone once kind and gentle who lowered himself into treachery, or more like a mysterious beast, hidden in the depths and summoned to wickedness. but all these questions seemed wrong.
@asouefanworkevent day three of woevember : the clusterous forest, alternatively titled, a lesson in turpitude.
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 2004 | dir. Brad Silberling
just remembered that era of asoue fandom where people thought jacquelyn was kit using an alias and people were like noo she couldn’t be her actress is way younger than j and l’s but then.
i should have asked the question, “how could someone who was missing be in two places at once?” instead i asked the wrong question.
@asouefanworkevent day three of woevember : disguises, alternatively titled, a pair of raspberry berets.
index
sugar bowl. see hiding places
hiding places. see headquarters
headquarters. see secret organizations
secret organizations. see conspiracies
conspiracies. see overall feeling of doom
overall feeling of doom. see doom, overall feeling of
doom, overall feeling of, ix - 211
the sugar bowl is everything and nothing. powerful only because it is a mystery. it's the sugar bowl secret. it's a secret.
