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Snapeaddict

@snapeaddict / snapeaddict.tumblr.com

I write about Severus, Minerva and Albus | Hurt, comfort and fluff are my thing | Elle/she | PP by eleni-anz, BP by mmad-lover
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A teacher's trick

"I must say, I was quite surprised. The level of precision was that of a third-year; and it was brewed by an average student at best, Miss Ladislaw. Clearly, the discussion we had two weeks ago made a lasting impression. The girl has potential, and it pains me to admit it as I usually have a keen nose for those students with probable skills - I shall keep a close eye on her."

Minerva smirked slightly, although her expression also had something of that motherly fondness one finds in older people's faces as they listen to naive statements from their younger counterparts. That particular smile did not last long, however. She knew Severus would not appreciate what he would qualify as a "patronising attitude" - or what was it that he had said last time? - "ageist condescension". She had not taken it well; then Albus had looked at her with the very same expression, and told her she should know better than to lecture someone who was no longer a student. His amused eyes above the half-moon glasses, the slightly raised eyebrows... yes, Severus might have had a point after all. He was 24 already...

"And what is it that you told Miss Ladislaw two weeks ago?" she asked, her tone as neutral as could be.  

The Potions Master slightly shrugged his shoulders.  

"Merely that I thought she could achieve a satisfactory grade if she applied herself, and that her needing to work harder than some of her classmates for the same results should not hinder her from trying."

Minerva smiled again, then immediately took a sip from her teacup to hide it, pursing her lips.  

"Well, it makes perfect sense." She couldn't help herself.

Severus raised an eyebrow.  

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juniperpyre

i think my key issue with the sanitization of death eater characters is that it feels like people do not see their stories as tragic or empathize with the characters until we have a hc that's like "actually they were morally good the whole time!"

regulus black and severus snape are tragic characters and child soldiers no matter what side they were "really" on. even barty crouch jr, who may not have been groomed into being a death eater, is tragic when you spend a second to consider his relationship with his father. there are plenty of death eaters who we know are taking after their fathers in joining the cult. lucius malfoy, who was a prefect when the marauders enter hogwarts, most likely spread the death eater ideology, since the ideology is just a more extreme version/logical endpoint of what already existed in the wizarding world.

to me, these ideas are not headcanons, because they are heavily implied by the text. when jkr mentions malfoy in the deathly hallows that is not for no reason.

mallfoy's acceptance of snape and position of power are both highlighted in this sentence. we can infer that snape felt a sense of community for the first time in Slytherin. with malfoy as a prefect we can infer that the culture of Slytherin house lifted up bigots and those with an important family name.

this is a culture that breeds more bigotry. we know that Dumbledore did not step in to stop this cultural development in the 90s, after already seeing what it could do!!! so we can infer that he did not in the 70s. so a bunch of children were left alone in an echo chamber of hate. of course some of them became fanatics!!!

this doesn't mean they shouldn't be held accountable. but we cannot expect children to overcome cultural and political hegemony all alone. like.... that's just not how the world works. and it's tragic that children are fodder for fascist's wars, especially when the fact that the children were abused or neglected makes them more vulnerable to be fodder.

regulus and severus weren't treated as people, their humanity was denied by the fascist they served, bc that's how fascism works. exploring their characters as they are in canon, with full humanity, without needing to change their stories to see that humanity, is much more interesting to me. it is much more in the spirit of redemption and restoration.

It boils down to people refusing to show empathy for villains. The characters don't need to be whitewashed for you to acknowledge that they were mistreated or the adults around them failed them.

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snapeaddict

(What could he do?)

(Should have been a rock star)

But he didn't have the money for a guitar

(What could he do?)

(Should have been a politician.)

But he never had a proper education

(What could he do?)

(Should have been a father)

But he never even made it to his twenties

What a waste

Army dreamers

Ooh, what a waste of

Army dreamers

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sneverussape

the staff room’s baby

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snapeaddict

There had been small signs, all of them barely noticeable to most but unmistakable to the sharp eye of the veteran professor. There was, of course, the slight tilting of his head whenever there was a pause in the conversation, or the pace at which he was turning the pages of his journal, slower than usual, with the occasional rereading of the same paragraph. Of course, Severus made no objection to a second reading immediately after the first if he thought he had missed something, or not been mindful of the style or tone - it did happen a bit more, naturally, when he read fiction in another language. But this was a potions journal, in English. In such circumstances, going back to a paragraph right away could only be explained by the will to express criticism in the most acerbic tone, which he had not done once since they had sat down.

She could add to these observations the rapid blinking and the squinting eyes on a face devoid of its usual scowl, when the two always went hand in hand. She was familiar with it all: she acted the same whenever she was fighting off sleep, most often during Friday-night detentions. As for the scowl... Albus claimed she and Severus shared a very similar one. Very off-putting, he said. With a calculating air and "flaring nostrils". She denied it vehemently; Severus, however, had simply said he had learnt from the best.

So, Severus was tired, as per usual sleep sleep-deprived, apparently to such a degree he could no longer hide it. He could have gone back to his quarters, taken a nap - it was four in the afternoon, classes were over. But apparently it had not crossed his mind, or if it had he had decided against it for some nonsensical reason partening to pride or misplaced professionalism.

Minerva studied him, then gazed at the rest of the staffroom, quiet, slightly warmer than usual, devoid of any presence but theirs. She wondered if, left alone for a quarter of an hour, the room would not seem to Severus safe enough to rest his eyes for a few minutes, or so he would think.

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(June) Snapetober Day 31 - Costume

Listen. This might be 8 months late, but at least it's there. I have nothing else to say for my defence.

When his body exploded in pain again, he held down to the one thing that could keep him sane, or so he thought – patterns. It was interesting, really. Albus would certainly have much to say about this. He would say, pensively, ‘Ah, yes. A great flaw of his. Once proven effective, Tom holds on to strict modes of action, and one failure rules out even the most effective strategy’. He would then add something about mental plasticity, perhaps something about the boy Tom had been, as if to reassure himself that he had always been the adult.

In any case, it was true: the Dark Lord was a man of habit, especially when it came to torture. It would take one some time to realise that, of course. It would take many sessions and a rather thorough interest in dark spells to pinpoint each cycle, each pattern. It would take a little more time, then, to place within these patterns the fits of anger, themselves only but a regular variation. But it was doable.

Severus knew them all by heart. The surprise always lay in the intensity and duration of the torture sessions, not in the spells and methods employed. He secretly prided himself on the knowledge that he would have been a much more imaginative torturer had he wished to be; it was naturally not the kind of thing he liked to admit to himself on a good day, but it certainly made encounters such as this one more bearable.

And so he thought of this as his body convulsed; a broken stream of thought, of course, repeatedly interrupted then pursued after fits of spasms, vomiting, and blackouts. By this point he could also track, more or less, retrospectively, how many had occurred, if left alone for a few hours of respite that was. So he counted: one, two, three crucios; head under water; a broken nail, or finger; one choking spell, fire in his veins, a blinding spell, and invasion of his mind.

It was a good idea. Disorientation was the enemy of even the most skilled occlumens. And sudden sensations of cold, or direct burns on the skin, they all made focus within oneself, rather than outside, terribly hard to maintain: it worked, to an extent. Severus had long lost any sense of his surroundings. He maintained the barriers in his mind intact; he ignored the agony of his body, with growing difficulty. He counted the spells.

And repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Darkness again.

It was fine; it was. He knew it was coming. Natural body reflex; exhaustion. He could never evaluate how much time had passed when he awoke, though. That he should work on.

-

‘Severus – Severus. Dear boy, can you hear me?’

He came to, slowly. He heard himself moan pitifully, he tried to exhale to manage the pain, but his nose was stuffed with dry blood. It must have been a while, he thought confusedly. Since it had dried. And where…?

‘Severus.’

The well-known voice reached his ears, then his brain, and he turned his swollen face in its direction, keeping his eyes shut for just another moment as a wave of relief overcame him.

‘Albus…’

He felt a hand stroke his hair. He relaxed, instinctively.

‘I have called Poppy. Do not try to move just now.’

‘Albus…’ Severus repeated a bit louder, as if to convince himself he was not hallucinating. He opened his eyes: the headmaster, who was kneeling just beside him, gave him a joyless but comforting smile. Silver beard, starry robes and blue eyes shone in the moonlight. Still it was dark… the floor was cold. A sigh of relief escaped him when a warming spell slowly reached his freezing bones.

‘I have been so worried, Severus. I waited for you… 5 days, and still no sign of you - no, don’t tire yourself, you will tell me everything later. If you are here, I know all is well.’

Severus started coughing. Gently, softly, in a fatherly way, Albus helped him in a half-sitting position.

The younger man rested his head against the headmaster’s chest, exhausted by the effort.

‘If you are here, I know all is well… isn’t it?’

Severus closed his eyes again. He tried to focus, he fought off the urge to fall asleep in the warm embrace.

‘Headmaster… yes… my cover… it is intact.’

‘He knows nothing?’

‘He knows… what he must know.’

‘You are relaxing, Severus. It is good.’

His breathing slowed, like that of a sleeping man.

‘You are safe… Poppy is coming. Get comfortable. Sleep…’

How good it felt to let go, to be unbothered by what was happening inside, and outside… To no longer be so cold… He was to have tea with Minerva, at 4 pm. What day was it? She would reschedule, surely… Holidays too, soon… Albus sounded satisfied… Hogwarts... Hogwarts, finally…

He smiled slightly, through the pain and spasms. He felt Albus’ arms tighten their grip around him, and fell into a half-sleep.

‘Severus, dear boy.’

But those arms...

‘Dear, dear boy.’

Too tight…

‘You have become too comfortable… too attached.’

Suffocating.

‘You feel safe in his arms, Severus. Tell me... has the spy traded allegiance for safety?’

His eyes snapped open. They met with blue ones which, at first, he thought he recognised. Then he noticed the reddish hue, the pupils, too yellow, too long, too narrow… the smile, predatory.

The spell that had been warming him, started to burn him.

And he had not seen it coming, no; he had not expected the pain, the perversion, had not placed them within the anticipated cycle of cruelty. He had gotten too comfortable.

He was taken by surprise, and a broken-hearted cry escaped his lips.

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mmad-lover

My sister’s surgery and why I am opening commissions!

Hi there! I have decided to access this platform to try and find a solution to my sister’s current situation… It has been too long at this point and I really do not know what else to do… so here goes nothing!

First of all… hi! My name is Paula, or mmad-lover as you may know me here. I am a student and freelancer from Costa rica, and I currently live with my younger sister. Her name is Camila.

My sister loves dancing, she is quite good at it and has been doing it almost daily for quite some time now. One day, many months ago, she snapped her anterior cruciate ligament (which is essentially the most important knee ligament) while practicing a choreography, and she has been living in pain ever since.

Some doctors suggested physical therapy and exercise to try to nurse her knee back to health, yet deeper tests showed that she requires a reconstructive surgery to fix her injury, since the ligament that snapped is the only one that cannot regenerate on its own. According to medical professionals, if she does not get this surgery, with time she will most likely lose her ability to walk normally, since her leg won't be able to sustain her weight properly, and she won’t be able to dance again, which is what she loves to do the most in life.

We are two young adults living in Costa Rica (my sister just turned 20) and the amount required for the surgery is too big for us, since we also fend for ourselves in every other economical aspect related to studies and housing, as well as other living conditions. There is no one else that can help us, our small family is dysfunctional as well as economically unstable, so I have resorted to posting what happened here, in hopes of finding any sort of help possible.

My commissions are currently open, and I am very open to drawing any prompts and requests that you may have. If this is something that might interest you feel free to message me!

Here you can find a drive folder with two of my sister’s documents that serve as proof for both her current condition and for the expenses of the surgery:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14PLVqEe4E1GWB8oy_NCH2jOAq2D_YnW0?usp=drive_link

Both documents are in Spanish, since the operation will take place here, in Costa Rica.

I will also leave my Ko-Fi link here, in case you would like to request any commissions or send any donations through there. I sincerely thank you for anything you can do to contribute to this, whether it is a commission, a small coffee donation, or just mere messages of support. The idea of being able to help my sister continue with her life means everything to me. Thank you so much for your time, we truly appreciate it!

PEOPLE OF SNAPEDOM

Good news, comissions from mmad are open!!!! Sweetest Paula is ready to draw your blorbo! From the prices ranging from 25$ (only 25$!!!!) to 65$ depending on amount of blorbo per pic!!! Great artistry is always included in the price as well as professionalism and being a human sunshine!

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snapeaddict

EVERYONE please have a look at this! Paula is an amazing big sister and is doing all she can in very difficult circumstances. Consider commissioning and/or donating ❤️❤️

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mmad-lover

January 9th, 1985

A celebration for Severus Snake Snape’s birthday gone wrong. It involved quite a lot of alcohol, muggle costumes, and cat hair, all courtesy of Albus.

The original reference is undoubtedly from the Barbie movie. I am surprised I haven’t seen anything like this drawn before!

Also, if you squint, this was secretly a Minvember prompt (Day 26, “oh f*ck!”). As usual, for @snapeaddict <3

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snapeaddict

OH MY GOD I ADORE THIS SO MUCH YOU DID SO WELL

The freaking *talent*

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A Christmas present for @mmad-lover ❤️

With hints about this piece

December 25th, 1969

Hogwarts was, quite literally, buried under snow – thick, pristine snow that shone gently where rays of candlelight passed through the castle’s windows, then vanished into the dark winter night. Inside, the few remaining students had gone back to their dorms, stomachs full and giggling, still, at Peeves’ latest prank. The poltergeist had made a dashing entrance during dinner with a good three dozen Christmas bubbles hanging from his ghostly fingers, toes, and ears. They had all been stolen from the Great Hall’s tree: it looked terribly bare as a result.

McGonagall had looked everything but pleased. Her nostrils had flared in a characteristic manner, her lips were tight - but just as she was about to say something, Dumbledore had started chuckling. Very quietly, at first, in an attempt to pass it off as a caught - he could see Minerva’s expression from the corner of his eye - then he had given in, the students had followed along, and Minerva’s face had relaxed too, eventually. She could never remain cross when Albus started laughing. 

“I reckon the view from your tower must be rather exceptional, Minerva – I need to go to the owlery to see the frozen lake. I saw a few deer walking over the ice two years ago, and have hoped to see them again ever since.”

Albus was standing next to his office’s tallest window, just beside his desk. As for Minerva, a frown was creasing her eyebrows, and she was sitting on a nearby couch. She was unknitting the bottom half of a sock the headmaster meant to gift Filius: the pattern had been slightly mishandled. Albus was, after all, a complete beginner; he had been teaching himself to knit for two weeks only.

“Do come by tomorrow for lunch, Albus. The lake is particularly beautiful at this time of day, and I believe it will be sunny.”

Albus turned away from the window. Her eyes were still fixed on the sock in her hand, and his gaze lingered on her face; she looked up, and he looked away, clearing his throat.

“Where did you learn to knit so well?” he asked, picking up his coffee mug from the side of his desk. He sat down in front of her, nodding in the direction of the blue sock in her hand.

Minerva eyed him for a few seconds, then looked down and smiled.

“My mother. My brothers were not exactly sticklers for cleanliness. ‘Cho salach ris a’ pholl’, she used to say – as dirty as mud.”

“My own brother never wore socks”, Albus lamented.

“I see where your lacunas come from, then. Would you like me to show you where you made a mistake?”

“Do you promise to be patient?”

“I am always patient”, Minerva said drily, though she was grinning slightly. 

Albus raised an eyebrow. “Ah! I did not believe you to be disingenuous, my dear professor. Need I remind you of the waltz? The piano? The baking? The -”

“You almost burnt the castle down. And left your wand on the counter!”

“That is but a minor detail in the history of my many accomplishments.”

“What about my foot? My poor foot – the one who will restore it to its original size is not born yet.”

“What about my foot?” Albus retorted, though his outrage was slightly undermined by the lemon drop he was munching on.

“It was not supposed to be there in the first place, Albus. That is precisely the issue.”

The headmaster looked somewhat apologetic. 

“But I did progress, did I not?”

Minerva turned the sock over on her lap. She sighed affectionately.

“You did. I am rather proud, I must admit it - but you still cannot venture in public.”

“You make me blush, my dear.”

“Did you hear the second part of the sentence?”

“I am a great believer in selective hearing.”

Minerva graced this reply with another sigh, a bigger and rather ironic one. Then, unexpectedly, silence fell over the room, as if the usual pleasantries and bickering had overstayed their welcome. This had been happening more and more frequently as of late, and none of them could pinpoint the exact reason why.

Snow fell beside the window, disturbed in its route by strong gusts of wind that made it swirl continuously. Albus looked at it, and Minerva looked at him.

She was quiet for a short moment, looking as though she was considering her options. She opened her mouth tentatively, and closed it; then, finally, she moved over to her left. 

“Will you sit next to me, Albus?” she asked abruptly. “I will show you how to finish the Christmas tree pattern – you got confused halfway.”

Her tone was queer, an uneven mixture of confidence, teacherly strictness, and out-of-place timidity. Clearly, the result was not what she had expected, and the headmaster seemed to pick on it as well. He looked hesitant for a few seconds. 

“Certainly”, he replied at last, putting down his cup of coffee. 

He sat right next to her, and she handed him the sock and knitters, pointing to a small part of the knitting pattern.

“Like this, yes, exactly. Knit stitch, purl stitch, but you must not go all the way to the end of the row – yes, like this – be careful to keep the same number of stitches here – yes -”

Albus managed the end of the dark green row, but the following steps proved to be more complicated. Twice, he avoided miscounting rows thanks to Minerva’s expert eye; but his main difficulty was not losing track of which was the visible side of the sock, inevitably leading to inconsistencies.

“Here, Albus, let me help you. I just need -” 

Her hand touched Albus’, which had not been removed quickly enough. 

And here they were, these formidable wizards, eloquent speakers and charismatic professors, staring awkwardly at a sock, half on Albus' lap and half on hers; they looked perfectly stupid, and rather flushed.

Minerva cleared her throat. 

“You may start the next row.”

“Yes… yes… assuredly.”

But silence lingered, yet again.

“Now?” Minerva ventured, nudging towards the sock.

“Yes. Yes.”

And, in no more than three minutes, he finished the knitting with remarkable ease, as if possessed by some kind of yarn-adoring entity. Surprised, Minerva grew closer, nodding approvingly. Clearly, his problem had been with the practicalities of visible and invisible sides, and that mistake was behind him already.

“Why is it that the waltz still puzzles you when you have picked this up so quickly?” she exclaimed, bewildered. 

Albus turned the sock over, his eyes twinkling: he admired his work with unconcealed pride, and Minerva could not help but remark he looked genuinely prouder of this sock than of his many intellectual prowesses and historical achievements, for whatever reason. 

“You have been particularly patient with me tonight, Minerva”, he said serenely, relieved that his voice did not waver, especially when she blushed. “And I listened with the utmost attention. I am sure I will make a good waltzer if I am to take my next lesson in the same circumstances… so to speak.”

That, of course, was untrue. But after that evening, Minerva found that she could never muster the courage to tell him. Only one Severus Snape, years later, would have the courage to say it out-loud: Albus Dumbledore just had terrible coordination. 

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Minvember Day 3 - Dance rehearsal

"Severus, you must help me."

"I am busy."

"Busy doing what, exactly?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"..."

"The fumes, Minerva. I am watching the potion fumes. The thicker it is, the better the result for this experiment."

"I see. I thought you were merely contemplating your laboratory, brooding over the absurdity of life as per usual."

Severus rolled his eyes. He unfolded his arms and took his eyes off the cauldrons that stood a few feet before him, glancing at the deputy headmistress with an unreadable expression.

"How may I be of service?"

"My left foot."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You will have to be more precise."

"It hurts."

Almost imperceptibly, his lips quirked in a sort of twisted, half-repressed smile.

"That is most unfortunate", he merely replied.

"Well, do something about it, you annoying man!"

"I do not see how. Certainly Poppy is the one qualified-"

"You know how she is! She might talk - tell Albus -"

Severus leaned comfortably against the nearest work-table. He could have been filing his nails for all that mattered; he looked especially unbothered, with a cunning and satisfied expression patiently waiting to move each of the carefully trained muscles of his face.

"Tell Albus what?" he asked.

His voice, as usual very smooth, was a steady mix of amusement and faked ignorance.

Minerva sighed heavily. She looked over her shoulder, then replied:

"You know he stepped over my foot the whole evening. And the day before. And the day before that."

"Really? But I thought you were an experienced waltz teacher -"

"Severus -"

"Such a brilliant one, in fact, that even the headmaster could become a successful dancer under your guidance, if I recall your very words -"

"Severus -"

"And, if my memory does not fail me, to that I humbly replied-"

"FINE! YES! Albus is a lost cause. It is like his arms and legs do not belong to the same person. He smiles confidently and then moves completely out of rhythm. Are you satisfied?"

Severus smiled cunningly. He set out to the other side of the room, opened and closed a cupboard and then came back to his original place, holding a jar of white cream. He handed it to her.

"This will reduce the inflammation in under ten minutes, if applied generously. It is scented with camomille - your favourite."

"Thank you."

She turned to leave.

"Oh, Minerva?"

"What now?"

"Do you know when this was prepared?"

"I am sure you will tell me."

"August 13th. The day we learnt there would be a Yule Ball."

She rolled her eyes and left, cursing under her breath. From what Severus could make out, it was something about never taking a bet again; he turned his attention back to his cauldrons, looking very pleased with himself.

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Snapetober Day 30: Ghost + Minvember Day 2: Scotland

This is a real folktale, very slightly modified, from Uist, Scotland. It was recorded by M. F. Shaw from the bard Seonaidh Caimbeul.

"Have we not celebrated enough? The pumpkins? The gory food? The costumes? What more do you want, headmaster?"

Albus took a seat next to Severus, settling himself in the armchair rather carefully as he was holding a teacup, full to the brim. He merely smiled.

"You did not even dress up, Severus. And I was thinking - what about ghost stories? It would be a nice way to finish the evening. Wouldn't it, Minerva?"

The Potions Master rolled his eyes. He was still standing next to his chair, his arms folded and a usual scowl on his face; those who knew him well, though, could tell, after scrupulous observation, that there was a hint of amusement in it.

He sat in the armchair next to him unceremoniously, as though he had been forced to and not merely - and very civilly - invited to join the group. 

"I know one", Minerva replied, handing him a cup of tea with a cunning smile. "My mother told it to me when I was a girl. It is from Uist, I believe."

"Indulge us, Minerva", Severus muttered, accepting the hot beverage. "Albus seems to be in dire need of embracing his inner child tonight."

"And you should too, sometimes, my boy", the headmaster remarked humorously. "It would do you good."

"Now that sounds properly terrifying."

"Should I tell it, yes or no?" Minerva interrupted them, her eyebrow raised. 

Her expression was very teacher-like. Albus Held up his hands apologetically. 

"Pardon us, my dear. Do proceed."

Minerva put down her cup and cleared her throat, dusting her robes as she gathered her thoughts. Around them the staffroom was dark, save from the halo of light where they were sitting: it emanated from the fireplace behind them, and in it, the embers were dark red.

"There was a shepherd who lived in his father's cottage, on the high slope of Beinn Mhòr. He had a wife and a daughter, and the daughter was deaf and numb. His father was a very old man of a very evil temper, and one night he fell ill, and died. So the husband and his wife placed him in a bier, and the shepherd set out to town to bring back people to help him carry the body. The mother, with her little child, sat next to the fire in silence."

In the fireplace, a piece of wood, almost entirely consumed, fell from the burning pile with a thud.

"Suddenly, the mother heard the corpse move. And so the child looked up and spoke her first words: "Grandfather is rising. He will eat you; but he won't touch me."

Albus cast her a horrified glance.

"The mother caught the child and fled to the nearest bedroom", Minerva continued, "and she bared the door with everything she could find. The corpse rose and came to the door, and he began to dig away the earth under the lintel with his white hands. The mother and her girl saw his fingers, then his arms, then his head appear - but at this moment the cock crew and he led completely still."

At this point, even Severus had stopped sipping his tea.

"The corpse was there until the shepherd came back with men from the village and lifted him back onto the bier. The mother and child watched as he was pulled below the door, his horrible smiling face disappearing last. They buried him in a graveyard on the north side of Loch Eynort, at a place called An t-Uchd uidhe. There is a hole where he is buried, and you can still see it to this day."

Then, with a content smile and innocent countenance, Minerva picked up her teacup, humming softly while both her colleagues stared at her with their mouths hanging slightly open. Their own tea was long forgotten.

"That's your children's ghost story?" Severus finally said, pulling himself together. "That's the kind of bedside story your mother told you as a child?"

Minerva smiled facetiously.

"That's the Gaelic spirit for you, dear", she replied in an angelic tone.

"He will eat you, but he won't touch me?"

Albus still had not spoken. The Potion Master, turning his head slightly, glanced at him quickly. Then, turning back to Minerva, he said ironically:

"If he cannot sleep tonight and ends up knocking on your door, that is on you and the Gaelic spirit."

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Minvember Day 1 - Self delusion

She hummed contently. She put the teapot down on the table, watched for a moment as the steam went up towards the ceiling and disappeared, then resumed her humming, a bit louder. She brought over a plate of biscuits, lemon-flavoured, then three tea cups. The chipped one she placed in front of her seat.

Then she took a step back, dusted her robes, picked a book, and sat comfortably.

And so she waited, humming still. The steam swirled and swirled over her head.

Slowly, the staff room's door opened. Minerva lifted her head: Pomona entered, followed closely by Poppy. The two women stopped, looking down at the table and then at their colleague.

"Good evening", Minerva greeted cheerfully, before returning to her book.

Pomona sighed. With caution, Poppy approached and sat in the armchair opposite to her, the one that had been, for many years, the preferred seat of the headmaster. Minerva made a slight movement of friendly protest.

"I know it is Friday night, Minerva", the nurse said apologetically. "I know Albus, Severus and yourself have tea every Friday night at 6. Is that right?"

Her colleague frowned. She put down her book, but did not reply.

"Minerva." Poppy spoke again, with more authority this time, and great softness. "Minerva. You know they are not coming back, right?"

Minerva blinked twice. Suddenly her gaze, which had wandered around the room with a dream-like air, became sharper, more cognisant; her book fell from her lap; she looked around her in utter dismay.

A strangled sound escaped her throat.

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Snapetober Day 26 - Superstition

July, 1997

"I will meet you this evening, Severus", the Dark Lord said leisurely.

"Where, my Lord?"

"The Astronomy Tower."

-

There was no question he would go, none; no possibility to shirk, to evade, to lie.

He never lied, and that was the issue, the root of the problem. He simply did not say the whole truth - he projected small, minuscule truths as if they were whole, as if they were not part of a grand tapestry he would never show anyone.

What was he to do, then?

He would meet the Dark Lord in the Astronomy Tower. He should look proud, that was what was expected of him - the good and loyal servitor, having accomplished the most difficult task of all, proved his loyalty beyond any doubt.

But the Dark Lord always doubted. He smelled betrayal even in his most trusted advisors, and even Severus could not afford to rely on his new found position.

This was a test, the final test, and he was very well aware of it. But there was no pride in him: no pride, no contentment, not even relief, though he had thought there would be some.

He had used disgust to kill Albus. This, and hatred, and scorn, all accumulated over the years, all very much deserved, none even as remotely strong as the twisted love he felt towards Dumbledore.

He had found them in him nonetheless, and had used them successfully.

He was at an impasse, and he knew it.

He could not use the self-hatred, the fear or the shame, he could extract from his soul nothing of satisfaction for that crucial moment.

Still, he would go.

He went to the meeting that night, he climbed the stairs, he stood in front of the Dark Lord helpless, a cold breeze lifting his hair.

His master observed him carefully. He narrowed his horrid reddish eyes and leaned against the guardrail behind him, the very one Albus had stumbled upon before falling. Severus refused to look at it, refused to look at anything in front of him, to take another step.

So much was a stake and yet he feared, irrationally and in spite of his intelligence and will, that if he did so much as lift his eyes he would see a ghost. Albus' ghost, staring at him intently.

Voldemort noticed.

"Something troubles you, Severus. You are… ashamed."

Severus' heart missed a beat. He blinked, slowly. He fought with all his might to keep breathing at a steady pace, he relaxed, and looked up.

There Albus was, just beside the Dark Lord, pleading with him like in his nightmares.

"Severus… please…"

Severus looked at him for a few seconds. His lips tightened. It was like every night, every single night since it had happened - it was terribly and utterly pathetic.

Slowly, he turned his gaze away from Albus, and back to his Master.

"I… am ashamed, my Lord", he replied. "Though it is foolish of me."

"I do not understand."

He saw the Dark Lord's hand contract for a second, grasp his wand more firmly. He let out a small noise of contempt.

"I have spent 17 years in the close presence of Albus Dumbledore, my Lord. During this time, I came to admire him - I admired him as much as I loathed him."

To his relief, his master did not react.

"But before I killed him, he pleaded with me. He pleaded… and pleaded again… it was pathetic. Absurd. He was on his knees, he was weeping. It was unlike anything anyone would have imagined."

Again, his eyes drifted on Dumbledore's ghostly, teary face, and he noticed, in the corner of his eye, Voldemort's hand loosening around his wand.

"I feel no personal satisfaction concerning what happened, my Lord. No pride. Only a foolish sense of shame, because the man I killed was far from being the Dumbledore I had come to know, and wished to kill myself. I... merely murdered a helpless man."

Voldemort smiled.

"So if anything, my Lord..." He turned his gaze away from Albus, one final time. "If anything, I feel disappointed."

Slowly, the Dark Lord put his wand away.

"That is very noble of you, Severus. I suppose this is my fault - you have spent too much time with the old fool, and you have picked upon his dripping sense of nobility. You must feel relieved to finally be rid of him."

Severus smiled.

"Very much so, my Lord."

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Anonymous asked:

Hi! I’m somewhat new to the online fandom and I don’t know who to ask, but could you or anyone help me find or recommend me stories in which the Marauder’s pranks on Snape goes a little too far (resulting on MCD or serious injury)? Could be related to the shrieking shack incident. I know it’s a heavy theme but I’ve read two stories like that recently that I really enjoyed but I wasn’t able to find more (aka idk how to look for them) xx ty in advance <3

Hello and welcome! Sorry for the delay, this got burried in my inbox 😅

I'd advise to put a request here, @hpfanfictioncatalogue proposes a wide range of fics and I'm sure they'd have some ideas for you!

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Snapetober on pause until I'm done with all midterms assessments - feel free to send prompts for the remaining themes btw they're very helpful after 25 days lol

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Snapetober Day 25 - Mask

Everything was a blur. He could barely hear; his vision was hazy, its corners were suspiciously dark and white spots danced at its centre. He felt numb, and could not tell if he was in pain, or not. Yet he kept bringing his hand back to his neck, where Fawkes had shed a copious amount of tears: the area was particularly sensitive.

He walked, and he kept walking. He made his way back to the castle without once clearly formulating to himself where it was that he was going; he could not think, and found himself incapable of devising even a slightly coherent response to the world around him.

So he walked, first to the castle's entrance, then inside the castle he found deserted, and finally to the Great Hall where all had assembled. He entered, and then only did the realisation of where he was and in front of whom he stood struck him: even with the buzz in his ears, he was vaguely aware that most conversations in the hall had ceased instantly, save for whimpers and cries.

He blinked, attempting to focus on what was in front of him. Minerva was there; so was Potter, who had been talking to her. She turned towards him and froze at his sight. He halted.

They gazed at one another. Instinctively and without his knowledge, an expression of overt indifference supplanted the haggard one on his face: all his muscles turned into stone to avoid any emotion from betraying him, to conceal even the most volatile, foolish sentiment. He gazed at her with terrible tranquillity, and so did she, for she did not move, she did not stir, she looked neither shocked nor surprised. Her upper lip moved slightly, in a manner characteristic to her, to express disdain.

There was no helping it. After a year, neither of them could put down the masks easily: Minerva to protect herself, Severus to protect her.

And there was silence, a heavy, prolonged silence.

"Professor", Potter finally said in a toneless voice, breaking the spell.

Minerva took a step forward, then another, and with each one her face came back to life, her marble expression slowly replaced by one of utter grief and worry.

"Is that true, Severus?" she whispered to him, shivering at the sight of his bloody robes.

He could not reply, he could not use his voice, so he nodded, and as he did he understood her question and his heart missed a beat. Lowering his eyes, he rolled down his left sleeve with a trembling hand: he gasped as he discovered the dark mark almost gone, only barely visible.

He did not have time to look up. Strong arms wrapped him in a warm embrace - he heard Minerva sob against his shoulder, she was clinging on to him with disproportionate strength.

When she raised her eyes to meet his, her face was tear-streaked and she looked utterly desperate. Yet she was smiling; he wrapped his arms around her too.

It was a good thing he could not think properly, for all eyes were on them and it did not even cross his mind.

But in the safety of her embrace, he felt himself begin to smile too. Confusedly he wanted to apologise to her, to tell her that she would soil her robes, to inquire about what happened, but all these thoughts passed him by without ever giving him the chance to act upon them.

It was for the better.

"Are you going to faint on me?" he heard her murmur, and he realised he was now the one clinging on to her.

He nodded slowly, and she pulled her wand out, still holding him tightly.

"Do not worry, I am here now", she whispered.

And he smiled again and closed his eyes.

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Snapetober Day 23 - Remembrance

Inspired by this prompt by @foodncomfort

The knocks got louder and louder, but he could not get to the door, nor did he want to - he vaguely wished for whoever was there to go away and turned his attention back to the bathroom mirror and sink. He was sick one more time, and he grimaced as another tremor ran through his stomach, painfully building its way up to his chest.

He had nothing to show for it. He could barely vomit some yellowish bile.

"Severus."

He bolted upright, turning his gaze towards the threshold and away from the vile contents of his empty stomach. Minerva McGonagall was standing by the door.

Of all people, she was here - he felt an uncontrollable fury rise within him, a sort of painful, rage-fueled despair.

"Get out", he said venomously, narrowing his eyes. "Get out, now."

Minerva looked startled. No - that was an understatement. She looked utterly shocked. But contrary to what he expected, she took a step forward and raised her hand, though with some hesitation.

"Severus, I don't understand. Are you sick? We were supposed to meet half an hour ago, I've been looking for you everywhere - I - I apologise for coming in uninvited, I was merely worried -"

"Get out."

She lowered her arm.

"What happened, Severus?"

Shaking his head, the Potions Master caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. Another rush of adrenaline, a nauseating feeling of shame submerged him and he felt the urge to seize the nearest object and throw it against the wall - but he was not like his father - still, sometimes he wished to be.

Things would be easier.

"I have told you to get out", he replied quietly, taking his eyes off the mirror and back to her. "Leave."

"I can't possibly leave you in that state, Severus. You look like you can barely stand. Are you having a panic attack?"

He snapped. Walking past her and almost pushing her in the process, he made his way into the living room, fixated on the door.

She had no right to come in. She had no right to watch him in his weakest moment, to humiliate him once more - no right -

"Severus!"

Certainly he looked like a madman.

"Do you really want to know what has gotten into me, Minerva?" he almost spit at her, now struggling to breathe properly. "Your precious Potter - he went into the pensieve, he went snooping, he saw a lovely memory of mine, from my schooldays - his dear father undressing me in front of a crowd... in front of his mother... He..."

He could not say another word. It made it too real, palpable, and he could not allow this to resurface.

Minerva took a step forward, once more. She tried to reach for him, but he recoiled, leaning against the wall for support.

"Severus. What do you mean, undressing you? I never heard anything about this. Surely I should know-"

"Why should you? Of all people, you and Dumbledore - aren't you the ones who did their best to turn a blind eye to anything that involved any Gryffindor? Did you think I would make a complaint? That Black and Potter would turn themselves in? You, Minerva, don't know anything because you never wanted to know."

The deputy headmistress looked petrified. Her face had gone almost as white as his, and her lips were trembling slightly; she stumbled upon her words, she shook her head, but found nothing to reply. 

Undressed? 

"Severus... I didn't know."

Undressed?

He laughed bitterly. 

"We have already established this fact."

"I am sorry. I am so sorry."

Undressed?

"Leave."

For a second, she looked as though she was about to protest. But then she saw the effect each of her glances had on him - it was as if she burnt him with every look, with every word, every attempt at solicitude. There was no reaching through to him. Whatever it was that separated them, she could build no bridge - none.

And so she left, without a word, without a glance. Unknowingly, though, she did bring Severus some comfort: on her face was such a profound expression of shame that even he could not miss it. 

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Snapetober Day 22 - Power

1986

He took a deep breath, and looked up. His eyes met Dumbledore's; he relaxed. Often, the hardest part was to prepare, to know what was going to happen. But the struggle itself, at this point at least, relied mostly on instinct and will, and he possessed both.

This time there was no manipulation, no lying, no awful mind games. The headmaster only wanted to test his strength and endurance and, Severus suspected, to assert his own power once more. He could sense the old man's raw delight and excitement every time he entered his mind, every time he pushed his barriers and unearthed memories and feelings that were not his to see; Severus usually observed his childlike cruelty with interest, from above, in a sort of dissociative but mighty state.

It was part of the role. They both knew it. But only Severus knew the extent of the old man's vicious delight - Dumbledore believed he could hide it, and that was Severus sole, but decisive, advantage.

He let Dumbledore dig up memory after memory, unimportant ones but ones tied to sentiments strong enough the old man would always be satisfied.

Severus enjoyed, vaguely, the pain and shame of knowing the man had seen so much. He simultaneously felt and believed the shame was well-deserved, and wished for it to strengthen the foundations of his loyalty with debasing roots. He knew that his loyalty was unwavering, he did not doubt it; but he viewed it as something external, something he had little control over.

What Dumbledore knew, it was a safety net. A twisted, self-damaging safety net - the only way to insure he would always look down when addressed by the old man.

Still Severus was also proud, gifted and powerful. He admired Dumbledore just as much as he loathed him, and for every insidious insult, every debasing game, he wished to make him pay.

Looked up close, there was nothing contradictory about this all. It simply fulfilled different needs, and none truly conflicted with the other.

So he waited. He let Dumbledore have a look around, where he was allowed, where the Dark Lord would be allowed, too; personal enough, but never compromising for the spy.

The man underneath was but a casualty.

Dumbledore came close, he became excited, and Severus chose that very moment, his only Achilles' heel. He let him take a step further, a step which Dumbledore knew, too, was calculated - then he pushed him out. Out of the memory, out of his mind in a formidable demonstration of power and magic; the headmaster attempted to fight back. Both their minds confronted one another, Dumbledore's roared, his remained silent and struck at every display of dominance. They bled.

Dumbledore was pushed out. Brutally - with a savagery Severus did not know he possessed.

He watched as the old man stumbled backwards, falling from his chair. The headmaster was breathing heavily; his nose was bleeding profusely.

Vaguely, Severus realised that he would have been incapable, at that very moment, of casting the simplest of spells. Yet he could stand, though barely.

When he found the strength to speak, his voice was smooth, and his tone almost detached.

"Would you like a hand, headmaster?"

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