I hate that no one talks about just how distressing memory loss from adhd actually is. I always see memes that are like “haha I forgot my phone, I don’t remember where my laptop is, etc”, but no one seems to talk about how it can really fuck you up long term to just, not remember things that are completely mundane to non-adhd’ers. The memory loss is, however, so frustrating to us. I cannot physically count how many meltdowns I have had over the sheer mental frustration and torture of not being able to remember seemingly simple things
in addition to the frustration and shame of the actual forgetting, there's this constant background dread, because you know for a damn FACT you are forgetting something important at any given moment. racking your brain may or may not bring it to mind, but you can't be dwelling on that 24/7 or you'd never do anything else, plus it quite often doesn't even work. so you just. live with it. every second of every day.
you have forgotten something that is going to bite you on the ass at some random future moment. water is wet. this is your life.
i think the reason so many people with ADHD develop such an absurdist sense of humor is that you have to deal with constant uncertainty and absurdity while being low-key scared and high-key BORED AS FUCK. like if you don't learn to laugh this shit off you just die.
This shit is actually maddening to the point of tears for me.
I undermine so much of my own judgement because i know my head is slippery. I hate it, i cant trust myself, and on the off chance i am so certain that I am remembering something correctly as it is (esp if its in regards to something someone said/did that hurt me) just a "that didnt happen (like that)" or "i didnt say that" makes me feel like I am going insane. Or they blame lost shit on me when they move it. I swear to god I placed something in the one of four places I usually set it, but i guess ill take the blame for it because im usually pacing anyway to find the item thats currently in my own damn hand.
Its like I have this balancing act of knowing im faulty or taking the chance on being the bitch just to be assertive and I hate it. So goddamn much.
Hello the majority of my life, yeah. Absurdist humor is literally our brand because it's a survival tactic.
I don’t really “think outside the box.” I just forgot where the box was.
You can't find the box because it's been claimed by the cats and ferrets of the brain.
When you have ADHD, you are functionally being gaslit by your own brain. Every day. All the time.
The perpetual state of "did I leave the oven on?" mind games you go through, even though you know you haven't had the executive function to cook a damn meal in days, is real.