Well Hello

No thanks to babies

what does html stand for?

hypertext markup language

no i mean like, what does it believe in?

“[Vanessa Jackson] admitted to police that she intentionally set him on fire because shooting him would have been ‘too nice’.”

a true american hero

me and my friends dancing to “mr. brightside” 

If this ain’t me

me trying to flirt

Wait how do you know all your fish are single?

all the fish I currently have are brothers so like, I hope

small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

This poor dude is waiting for his date for the prom unknowing he is being watched by the crew of a hit TV show

The tides coming in, hurry up dude.

Tide got him but he’s ok.

He’s texting his girl but she’s not showing up. Is she standing him up?

His best bud just showed up to help him.

Tide is really coming in now, he’s on the phone. Things are getting frantic.

Will she arrive in time? We’re gonna give him a round of applause if she says yes and arrives.

OH NO!

CREW IS ENCOURAGING HIM TO RE-DO HIS WORK. WE’RE SHOUTING “DO IT!”

HE IS RE-MAKING THE MESSAGE! I REPEAT! HE IS REMAKING THE MESSAGE!

WE HAVE RECIEVED WORD THAT THE GIRL IS ON A TREASURE HUNT IN THE CITY AND THIS IS THE FINAL LOCATION. HIS FRIEND IS STALLING FOR TIME.

UPDATE: BEACHGOERS HAVE JOINED IN TO HELP THIS BOY REBUILD HIS MESSAGE TO THE GIRL! HIS FRIEND HAS JOINED IN AS WELL.

IT’S ALMOST DONE! THEY MIGHT MAKE IT!

THE MESSAGE IS COMPLETED! THE QUESTION IS NOW “WILL SHE SAY YES?”

BRO OF THE YEAR JUST BROUGHT A GIRL. I THINK THIS MAY BE IT!

I THINK THIS IS IT!

SHE’S APPROACHING!

YES! THE ANSWER IS YES!

OUR CREW IS CHEERING FOR THESE TWO.

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

Lmfaooooooooo how did this even happen

Thank

So I went into Macy’s and I’m not sure if this is the proper advertising strategy for belts.

That’s the best advertising strategy for belts.