Sleepy

Sea turtle launches attacks on a scuba diver cleaning his tank only to be foiled time and time again.

it's me boy, the medieval scribe speaking to you inside your brain. listen to me boy. draw in the margins of your notes instead of paying attention

Flipping the narrative here i love small talk and i’m very good at it. I love saying “thank god we had that rain!” And “the construction downtown is CRAZY” it gives me a rush

*dude who is not watching his bank acc voice* oooh i got plany of moneys

Just remembered how my old boss used to say “allied forces” any time dragon flys showed up when we were out working in mosquito infested swamps

i'm like genuinely getting emotional over this what the fuck

[ID: a tiktok comment and reply chain between astralcorbozo and quadpen8 reading:

Astral: I killed an oyster on purpose once. smashed it with a rock. It's my one life regret

Quad: oysters can't feel pain!

Astral: what about my pain? what about my sorrow?

End ID.]

rats smoked all your weed I watched it happen, encouraged them, and also partook

yes yes you’re very beautiful. Bewitching, even. AWFUL parking job, by the way

i'm . having fish emotions again

FUCKING GETCH OU

*covered in blood & in visible distress* i just need to write a list

not now, im noticing the pattern