My first on-screen appearance & showing the making of an oil painting. 🎨 If you enjoy my content, check it out, your support means a lot. 💖 💖
Dried flowers from a past lover are the best to start a bonfire with.
sk-lumen reblogged
“When the worst that can happen has come and gone And you’re still standing, remember that you won.”
— Joan Bauer, Almost Home
My garden view at sunset and favorite potted flowers.
sk-lumen reblogged
Winter moodboard: rose n'roses by dior, lacy black tops under fluffy pink sweaters, gratitude journaling on misty mornings, cashmere scarves, matcha lattes, yoga and harp music in the evenings, YSL lip tint, prosecco and rose salt baths, black faux furcoat, gua sha massages.
The vibe for this November 🎀
New Moon in Scorpio
Much like the moon, I have seasons of coming and going, waxing and waning. Of being bright and radiant, and then going completely and utterly dark.
Sometimes it’s necessary — this surrendering into your own depths. It’s necessary to let go of control and let yourself sink as deep as you can, so that you can at least gather your strength enough to continue fighting to swim back to the top.
Because you can’t keep up that control forever. You can’t control the waves any more than you can control your own destiny. You can choose your direction, certainly. But your destiny is the magical crossroad between the gravity of your desires, and the gravity of the sky and the ocean and all its beautiful, brilliant little microcosmoses.
When I go dark, I don’t apologize anymore. I used to, but I’ve since learned no grace comes from a tree shaming its own leaves for wilting when the sun turns away from them. No grace comes from a flower shaming its petals for falling when its time has passed. Grace comes from accepting that there’s a season for everything, and you cannot grow into your next season until you accept that the previous one has passed.
There is an art to letting go, in this dark phase of the moon. This new moon.
There is a release. A certain peace and stillness. Because yes, while you’re fighting to swim back to the surface, the violent adrenaline of hope still drives you forward, but plummets you equally fast when you realize the surface is so, so far out of reach…
That constant struggle drains your soul. Drains you entirely, really.
That’s why…sometimes you just want to lie still. Lie so very still, and let yourself float. In this dark, quiet stillness, this great, scary unknown of your life, of being inbetween seasons, inbetween phases, inbetween beginnings and ends, somehow, and yet nowhere at the same time.
You feel lost and found at the same time. You feel everything and nothing.
In this quiet, the deepest truths come to the surface —
What is it that you want?
And why is it that, before you even fully voice that desire, you have already silenced it inside yourself as being out of reach? As being too much, not enough, unattainable?
Why have you denied yourself your greatest dream before even granting yourself the grace of believing? Hoping is just half the fight. You have to believe you deserve it, too.
No wonder you keep sinking no matter how hard you fight, love. It’s the weight of your own doubts and limited beliefs anchoring you….
To rock bottom.
A/N: “Lumen’s Diary” is a relatively new column I started, which acts as an online diary that combines random thoughts, artistic photography, poetry, stream-of-consciousness style prose, etc. In today’s era of 10-second insta-reels, it might be unconvential. But it’s a way to express my soul, and hopefully it might resonate with others and remind them they’re not alone. <3
Much like the moon, I have seasons of coming and going, waxing and waning. Of being bright and radiant, and then going completely and utterly dark.
Sometimes it’s necessary — this surrendering into your own depths. It’s necessary to let go of control and let yourself sink as deep as you can, so that you can at least gather your strength enough to continue fighting to swim back to the top.
Because you can’t keep up that control forever. You can’t control the waves any more than you can control your own destiny. You can choose your direction, certainly. But your destiny is the magical crossroad between the gravity of your desires, and the gravity of the sky and the ocean and all its beautiful, brilliant little microcosmoses. --S.K. Lumen, writer
Lately I am learning more and more to trust in the universe, in divine timing, that there's a purpose for everything. Trust that you are held, you are protected, you are divinely guided, and that it's safe to release control. Surrender. Everything is unfolding exactly as it should be. It's not contingent on you controlling everything. It's contingent on you letting go and trusting.
sk-lumen reblogged
Sometimes, we keep touching the wound not to see if it's healed already, but to make sure that it hasn't. When you attach your identity or your purpose to your grief, anger and trauma, it almost becomes an act of self-preservation to hold on to that pain for as long as possible. Because it's familiar. But what lies beyond the treshold of all that pain? When it's washed off by the slow but irrevocable pressure of time? What lies there is a great unknown. The you absent of all your pain and struggles. Who are they? Are they worthy of love? What do they look like? What is their core identity, if not all the hardship that burnished them like iron? I know it's scary, but you have to step into that great unknown. You have to give yourself that chance, the chance to discover who you are when you're not in survival mode. When you're not depressed, anxious, fighting every day to make it to the next. You have to discover what your spirit looks like when it's not drowned and choked by grief.
Selfcare sunday mood: cleaning my home, laundry, picnics in the park, gym, doing some more writing, and catching up on comfort shows with my favorite pink mocktail.
In my unbothered, detached, let them, ok and era.
Simply surrendering.
Whatever is for me will stay, whatever isn't will leave anyway.
Selfcare sunday mood: wearing pink satin pjs all day while tidying up my home, mealprepping for next week, gua sha massages, facemasks, journaling, drinking camomile tea and cuddling with my cat.
I promise it gets better. It won't always feel so heavy.
I hope you find peace in your heart. I hope you remember all the wonderful things that life is worth living for. I hope you never let an unkind word, a rejection, a failure or a loss cloud your eyes from the wonder of being alive in this moment here and there, to the wonder of twilight skies and magical poems and pretty butterflies and all the glimmers that brighten your day. I hope you remember there's always a rainbow at the end of the rain.
June moodboard
Story snaps from my IG @ sk.lumen Floral pink dresses, roses, twilight skies, art books, rosy skies. 🎀
sk-lumen reblogged
My past self would be so proud of the woman I've become. My achievments, my assertiveness, my determination and endless regenerative power. I've healed from everything life has thrown at me. I've climbed up from rock bottom no matter how many times I've fallen.