Please Help

Hello skinny tgirl. Lately you've been complaining that your tits aren't growing. In front of you is a plate of food.

Unironically my tits grow faster for a few days every time I eat salmon

I should probably cook more salmon

Well yes salmon does have some fat in it! And it is good! Try and eat it with some carbs, like potatoes, or maybe blinis. Why not add some vegetables as well? Steamed brocolis, grilled leaks, roasted eggplant, and maybe some cream? That sounds delicious.

Idk who this man is but he is right. Eat girls

commas save lives,,, rip girls, you were delicious,

Girls can be eaten many times if you know what you’re doing.

I love those "asking cosplayers at a con what their day job is" videos because it's always like

*muffled voice issuing from a huge suit of armor* im a cybersecurity specialist

reblogs appreciated for sample size!

y’all should watch supernatural because thor the norse god is there and he looks like this

chris hemsworth wishes

i said supernatural instead of stargate im losing my fucking mind

I thought it was an honest trolling attempt and I respected you for it tbh.

Me, before reading the rest of the post:

I have been told to reblog this as USPS propaganda.

USPSPSPS

God didn't give me a dick cause he knew I'd be abusing that thang. Call me mourning wood the way I'd be fucking trees

BOY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE AS A DRAFT

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

"Sorry for hurting your feelings earlier. I was trying to say x, but I guess it came across wrong. I don't think you're stupid."

or

"Sorry I snapped at you. I didn't get enough sleep last night so my patience is a little low today."

is a better apology than

"I want you to know that I am sorry that my actions offended you. I take full accountability for my actions and I am listening and learning. I hear you."

This feels like a good time add one of my favorite weird inventions from history: The book wheel, invented in 1588

Shout out to people with auditory processing disorder!!!

what?

*holds up a sign that says “Shout out to people with auditory processing disorder!!!”*

*before the sign is fully up* Oh! Thank you for the support!!!

my wife: you're the only person who uses the computer correctly

me: what do you mean

my desktop:

:)

this scene gets exponentially funnier every time i watch it 💀💀

many thanks to sailor moon says for preserving so many clips from the greatest dub in the history of anime

Matt Shirley

I fixed it