“i was less before i loved you”

wordcount: 4615+ | Masterlist & Taglist

With a smile on his face, the young dormwarden let out a sigh he hadn’t even realised he was holding; in his hand was his phone, screensaver was the picture of you and him on your 6th month anniversary where you two were cuddled up together and admiring the view, you the sight, and him admiring you. The redheaded boy never thought he could look that happy, soft, or carefree; expected to be cool, calm and ever-serious, not allowed to be anything a child normally could be, he never thought those were things that felt.. nice. He would often feel disgust, thinking he was “above” the things he was told to be childish, immature. Yet now, that could not be further from the truth or the life he lives.

Riddle admires the charm dangling by his phone, a pair of crowns, modelled after the king and queen of hearts, cute, he thought, resting his head on his idle palm. He thinks back to the date, and the way you reacted when you saw his screensaver the next day, feeling his face bloom in a lovesick flush. Aware of how hopeless he looks, yet not caring one bit, he allows himself to daydream. Scrolling through his phone gallery of your dates, colorful. Oldest to newest, he could tell the difference, only ever allowed in the library as kids, and sticking by that decision half the time, the ticking of years can be distinguished easily as color enters the frame slowly, his childhood photographs, long deleted by him, fading into reds as he took you to a walk on the Heartslabyul maze on your first year on NRC together; blues in the fine china of the cup you held, yellow accents of the tea party preparations. Yet it’s overwhelmed by red, only fading out into a canvas of everything when the gallery of his second year starts, flower garden dates with all the color the sun could grace being merely the start. The cooking courses, school events, camps, everything, it paints a picture that feels so carefree, yet even then, he only finds himself softly gazing at you, unaware of the way he occasionally giggles and squints his eyes; pried of his trip down the memory lane by the sound of a message, he sighs and straightens his posture, not sure when or how he leaned down so much. And checking the source, he fondly shakes his head in a way that can only be interpreted as ‘for you, i could’. “Can we watch the stars from your room today?” it was you, and who was he to deny you? He may have been many things, but for you, he couldn’t claim to be strict. Not by that much, anyway. Riddle is, contrary to what most expect, a very indulgent boyfriend. “Sure” He replied back, not overthinking it. Finding it hard not to grin when you send a whole array of hearts and then some more his way. Your contact name, he found himself admiring again, “The Queen’s Most Beautiful Rose”, and he wondered, would you mind it if he changed to ‘the queen of my heart’ ? As his equal, he reigned no rule over you, yet you held such a perfect, lovely grip over his own heart- it wasn’t like it truly belonged to him when it beat for you, anyway. And he would never have it any other way, “long live the queen of my heart…” Riddle whispered to himself. Getting up quickly and excusing himself wordlessly, he leaves behind confused dorm-mates as he heads straight to his room, he’d have to recheck if he had his favourite sweater clean, knowing your habit of stealing it very well. A fond grin found itself home on his face and he had no intention to hide it, deciding to instead be punctual with his preparations so that the room you two shared was ready for your whimsical plans. He hoped with all his heart, that his habits could aid him in conveying his love for you. Long live the queen, he chuckled mentally.

Jack found himself daydreaming again; this was happening far too often for his liking, yet it wasn’t like he could do too much about it. You, the love of his life, how could he stop thinking about that? He simply didn’t like the taste it left in his mouth, it felt.. less. Like something vital was missing, something that made his head and heart hurt. So he simply did his best to keep up and hope his daydreams didn’t cost him too much. Lately he found himself thinking about rings, bracelets and anything matching, subtle- yes, it was because you mentioned how you wanted to get something matching but wasn’t sure he would like it, so you made him some things he’d like better; last valentines day, thinking about it made his ears flatten, drooping in a saddened motion. It wasn’t your fault, no, it was just his disappointment in himself, did he make you think that you could make him upset by showing affection one way or another? Was he too guarded? Maybe. He’d have to work on it, and that thought struck him out of his daydream- once again- as he silently scowled at his hopelessness; you could not hear his daydreams, what the hell was wrong with him? Upset by himself and determined to do something about it, he grabbed his cellphone, homework could wait for once. Jack wondered, what could he do? Opening his notes app, going through the dates he heard about, places he heard of, things you told him about, he thought maybe, just maybe, a date to the cafe could work? He disliked the one on campus grounds and many of the ones on the island because of the loud or off-pitched music that blasted inside 25/8 the establishments, but if he could find a quiet, nice place, he could take you there. Though, that’d take much time and Jack wanted to see if he could do something sooner, if he could. He did not want to keep you waiting, even if you’d always reassure him good things were worth waiting for, sometimes going as far to say you’d wait your whole life and then some for him if he wanted it. The memory rang clear in his head and lifted tension off his head, cleaning his thoughts like rain, making him breathe, closing his eyes. You recently switched dorms, Heartslabyul to Pomefiore, a change of mindset being the reason, and quite frankly he admired how you acted upon your feelings so quickly. “Time would pass anyway, i didn’t wanna waste it” was what you said, “I know my body- I know my heart, and I knew what I wanted to do.” you murmured, adding on a mumble about how you were sorry if it sounded cheesy. He reassured you that it couldn’t be further from it. And it only fueled him to act thinking about it- wondering, if you needed anything, maybe he could spend the night with you? You always mentioned how you wish you could stay with him in his dorm or have him stay in yours but Heartslabyul was loud and cramped, while Savannaclaw wasn’t known for being welcoming or friendly. Though Pomefiore could work, it was relatively quiet and known for being polite to visitors; especially those on good terms. The wolf beastman looked at his phone, your contact, “Love of my life” made him smile, a picture of you smiling, one he took impulsively; and he asked, “Can I come over?” waiting, wondering if he should elaborate- yet, your answer, barely a few moments later washes over him with relief, “ofc!!!” . If anyone asked, he was coming over to help you move in; no one had to know about the matching bracelets in his bag, that he had been holding onto this entire week.

Jade was used to working on his own, often being the voice of reason, watching from the shadows and generally being a figure that many viewed as someone that could always be reliable if he wanted to be. Though, you coming into the picture always skewed the tides, changing the dynamic, pulling him off this pedestal and making him so much more.. human. In a way that he wasn’t exactly perceived as before, sure most were aware he was not the second coming of the great seven or anything grand, but he was not really seen or considered as someone so affected by feelings. Calm cool , collected and ever calculating, that was it. And even if most missed, his twin and childhood bestfriend couldn’t miss the way he has always had the habit of catering to you, the most to you in any way he ever was. Ever since you had crossed paths before starting life on campus, he had the habit of being a whole lot more different. Different in the way that if others had a feeling or could speculate this or that of him, you could see it for yourself, if you asked him he would never lie; unless it was for your own good, and if it was he would say he can’t tell you yet while trying to find a way to remedy it. Though, you never pried, if it was something that stressed you out, you’d only ask for his time; he was always thankful to comply, and his twin never complained either, saying he can handle himself fine, or that you can call for help if Jade tried to turn you into a mushroom or something. It’d make you laugh, while Jade, pouting one moment and scowling the other, gestured for his twin to leave. Then, there was his first year; the never discussed time-frame of which he adapted a far more sharp, delinquent-like look. It was entertaining for a while, though what surprised even his closest confidants at the time was how Jade did not get tired of that wardrobe for a while, having fun with it for as long as you did. He truly relished in the way his looks and demeanour left you breathless, or the way his advances could make you gasp if he played his cards right; he intended to play those sounds like an instrument, he told you so at some point, yet he knew that you could play his heart to your own heart’s content. Of course, as things changed, he’d adapt, as time passed his style blended into something a lot more sleek and butler-like, while your relationship became a lot more romantic, established. Though he made sure to keep your favourite piercings and earrings in mind, never opposed to putting those on again to give your heart a shock. Which was the exact reason why he was now in front of his room’s bathroom mirror at 5am, an empty mug of coffee waiting until he was done with his cosmetic changes. Jade, even though less impulsive than his twin, was still impulsive at times. So, here he was, giving himself a haircut, deciding to go for a faintly messy low-cut while leaving the front bit of his hair mostly unchanged. Settling for just slicking his hair back, and tucking the black locks of hair behind his ear. He remembered how you suggested a mix of his prior hair style and some things, mentioning how those might look quite ‘hot’ for the lack of a better word if he mixed it in with his current wardrobe; and, he had to agree. And he hoped you would too, rolling up his sleeves, opting for thinner black gloves and putting on some rings on his fingers. Leaving his room quickly after downing some coffee, he headed straight to yours, within the same dorm, barely a few steps away from his. Jade knew you would take kindly to his surprise visit; it happened far too often for you to be shocked by that, maybe the sudden change could, he mused with a chuckle.

Floyd wasn’t exactly sure if he hung around you because you were fun or if you were fun because he was hopelessly in love with you; not that he cared too much about the answer. One way or another, this was what he got, and he would not change it for anything. Sure, some things would change, but what you had between you two wouldn’t. Not in a way that didn’t fit; and he was confident in that. It was odd, to view Floyd Leech, the fun-chasing, mood swinging twin to be.. this. Committed. Serious, dedicated to one thing let alone one person, but here you were; and boyy was he committed. Despite the whispers in the hallway, you’d open your arms open for him to pick you up and spin you, even on days you felt off, you’d ask for a hug, and he’d always indulge you. If he had to ask himself how much of it was for you or him, he wouldn’t miss a beat, saying “if it’s for my sea urchin, it’s for me too” because that is truly how he sees it; if it matters to you, him too, if it’s your happiness then that’s his too, and even when he cannot share or truly understand your pain he wants to do the right thing in a way that matters to you, for you. Loving Floyd simply shows you a side of him no one else really can see, he’s present and always in your mind, but he’s never overwhelming. He frequently checks up on you randomly, as if he has a built in love-fueled gps to find you or some red string of fate only he can see- though, you swear you might begin to see it too day by day- and he never really explains it, not beyond making sure you are safe. And while you are not an immediate mood fix for reasons others expect, you surely always make him feel better; because you stick around but you don’t suffocate, letting him hold you is more than enough but you not only meet him halfway, but go above and beyond too. Even if you don’t realise, your ever-willing nature to meet him halfway or go wherever with him is so, so precious. Whether it be 3am bubble baths or dancing in the rain or making out somewhere hidden in the library during the class hours, you are right there with him and his whims. It doesn’t shock him when his thoughts begin to revolve more and more around you, he has his fun with it, it makes him feel ecstatic, sometimes he thinks of you and then his lovesick mind derails the image to your lips and he just has to kiss you; resulting in you being in his arms, back against the wall, red lips, gasping and not sure just what came across him now, and he always says “i just thought of you-” “-and i had to kiss you”. Well, it surely explains his blown pupils and satisfied grin, though he could use some more kisses, do you mind? Thank you~ He chuckles, intending to pay you back for your generosity tenfold, and then you know -you already knew- that you’ll be there for a long while. Well, class could go fuck itself anyway, you have a lovesick eel who is in dire need of your affection and just won’t let go. Not that you mind… Days come and go, and with Floyd you know none of them are ever wasted, really. You have installed a change of heart in him and it has given him such addictive jolts of new life. Now, I hope you intend to keep him because he is thoroughly obsessed in love with you in the best of ways.

Azul once again found himself going over his schedule, clearing some time for you; you who always stuck around with him even on slow and boring days or the busy days where he never dedicated enough attention to you- He knew you understood how much his business and work meant to him, yes, but he also knew the whispers in the halls about how you were second place and how he was definitely married to his job before you, and he hated it. Azul knew you had to hear these basically everyday or every other day, and it made him wanna do a multitude of things, all of them being stupid, pointless, or not good enough, as none of them solved the issue on any level. Nor would they make you happier, and he had gone through many of those in his head; he knew you didn’t need him to act revenge, after all, that would be counter-productive. He would just spend more time away from you, and what would that get him? After a thorough scolding of love advice from his 3rd executive, who verbally smacked him in the head by bluntly letting him know that his plans would just make him a negligent lover who, albeit accidentally, still somehow decided spending more time away from you while working would solve things. In the end, Azul decided that only one thing was the right choice; making proper time for you. Just you and him, no work, no nothing. So, here was the young dormwarden, planning lunchtime walks and dinner plans for two, asking you if you’d like to spend the nights with him in his room instead, wondering if he should consider taking the next step by maybe hugging you in his merform? Well- The thought was quite ambitious, and he didn’t want to rush that, so he decided to just write it down as a beach picnic. Hoping with all three hearts and crossing his fingers that nothing goes wrong, as he really, desperately wanted to treat you right and make up for the wasted time not spent together. Every day, every exchange, simply knocked the thought more in place; he had been depriving not only you but himself of something so special, the chance to make memories. He found himself more determined than ever to hone his skills so that he could do all that he needed to more efficiently; it’d make it easier for more time together rather than you ‘third wheeling Azul and his contracts’ as Floyd put it. Seriously, these were his childhood friends and suddenly they are acting so salty in your stead?- Well, he supposed he very well earnt it. And now, he would spend what he earnt with you. This became a part of his every day, now, he would properly calculate his time with you alongside his work; because time is time,money is money, and he cannot get back time even if he can wrack his brain for more cash profit any other day. The time he has, he wants to spend so much of it with you, if he you’ll let him, and of course, you do. Azul found himself clinging more and more with every day, not sure what else he could have been expecting- Truly, it should not have shocked him of all people, for an octopus to be clingy is the most predictable of all outcomes. Sure, he took his time, but this development was simply inevitable, not to say you were any less clingy than him; you two were together, more often than not, your arm in his as he treated you like a gentleman in public, and indulged you like the awe-struck, ever-loving boyfriend he is behind closed doors.

Vil Schoenheit and scandal should not belong together in a sentence. Not in his manager’s’ worst nightmares; fuck no, oh hell no. But truly, some days he cannot afford to give a damn, after all, he has an engagement ring ready for you two’s graduation night already, if he’s already committed with a promise ring already, then you can very much be with him under public light as well. Though some people surely do make him wanna keep you under wraps or just straight up wrap YOU up in caution tape with the words “committed lover of Vil Schoenheit” on it already! Honestly, he just might. He just fucking might one of these damn days. Vil sits down on your shared bed, arms crossed and with a glare that could surely kill somebody; somebody name Neige-fucking-Leblance. Does he NOT get the memo? You have promise rings and introduce yourselves as soulmates at this point! Does he actually have to go through with the most ridiculous idea and make the fashion statement of the century with fucking caution tape?! And then you laugh, suddenly cutting off the memory of his thought process from what feels like a few hours worth of seething rage. Seeing the sunflowers in your arms still makes him scowl but your laugh simply makes him confused, and faintly offended in some ridiculously specific genre. What was so good about sunflowers anyway? He would get you red Sage Flowers, red Tulips, Primroses, Marigolds- And perhaps he should, Vil decides. Then you gather your breath, telling him that this was Neige’s letter about your latest nomination for creative stage-writing; since you have begun adapting books into proper scripts recently, apparently one of your most recognised adaptations as of lately was one of his favourite fairy tales from childhood. The guiding star of your nightsky then remarks how Neige says that too often, you reply with a shrug and ask if he wants to make a guess which ones; Vil decides he likes that one, starting a tangent that almost sounds like a detailed thesis, making you joke about how he might think of Neige more than you. Vil shakes his head curtly, saying his love for you outweighs his distaste for the most annoying person in his world. “How charming~” you joke, letting the conversation get back on track, and talk about how so many people you never expected to end up sending you mail. “Ah, didn’t think that he was a fan of mine of all people, guess the world is a small place” You wheeze out, and Vil snarls, “Yes, dearest, quite small that it feels cramped.” making you roll your eyes before you lean to his side, pressing a kiss to his cheek, making his gaze soften- somewhat. He then sighs, deciding to dig through some videos he has queued up on his sagetube page; he has wanted to learn some new recipes lately, and this could just be the best timing to look through those, humming to himself with the voice of an angel and the looks that could seduce god, you steal a glance in his direction to admire your long-term boyfriend, wondering just how did you get so lucky? One minute he could raise hell, only to then sing like an angel the next moment. Truly, this might as well be Vil Schoenheit’s world, and everyone else was renting it; you like to say it to banter, but some moments like now, you find yourself believing it. The range of his expressiveness has always been endearing to you, if only he didn’t have to limit himself, you think to yourself sometimes; returning to reading through fan letters, and a smug look makes it’s way to Vil’s face as he sees you picked up his one too, good. He wouldn’t want his proposal to wait too long, that ring in the ‘fanmail’ will surely gain him your most beautiful reaction.

Idia Shroud, willingly stepping out into sunlight, subjecting himself to grass? More likely than you think. He laughed at the thought, not displeased by the slightest. Now, actually getting himself ready to face the sun was a whole other topic than you, honestly; the outside world scared the fuck out of him, you were the opposite. It was like a juxtaposition that made his brain hurt and heart twist, making him blue screen in all senses. But he was working on it. Closing his eyes and thinking of your previous dates when things went okay. Reminding himself that even if he fucked up a little, you’d just roll with it or help him out– it’s hard to crack you, he should know by now. And he knows, which is why he’s doing his hell-bent best to beat it into his stubborn insecurities. His calm breathing exercise soon ends, a little sooner than he’d like and luckily the thing that catches his eyes is the phone charm resting on his desk. He gazes softly at it, reaching out and deciding to attach it to his phone. Idia knows it’s silly, but you must’ve been too given, y’know, you gifted this to him. So he doesn’t mind. A charm of a skull and a small will-o-wisp, you said how it reminded you of him and Ortho, to which his brother was ecstatic about; starting a small obsession over the symbolisms, and you indulged that, often telling him quick tad-bits, sure his little brother had the literal internet at his disposal but neither of them ever used it for that topic. They preferred hearing it from you, it was objectively better. Special. And then he thought over his favourite kind of dates, the type he was getting ready for; a nightly walk, whenever you two went out for this, Ortho would escort you to the dorm and Idia would take the wheel from there. It always has- and maybe will- make him anxious, but he will continue trying even when the nerves get to him, sometimes you two returned early- but it didn’t stay that way. Idia would hold your wrist strongly and say ‘wait’, getting up in a minute of half an hour, to try again. Sure he was an emotional wreck, but he was worse than his ‘stupid emotions’ as he put it; meaning he was too stubborn and spiteful against himself. Hey, at least it works. Sometimes he wondered, how were you so patient? And then he would remember, the way you asked why Hades waited for spring too; the way he would always diligently wait for his wife to return back to his side. And before he could get flustered over the comparison, you added even more; “You already wait for me in your room like him; and I know you would wait for me if things were reversed too, I can’t keep you waiting for too long, can I?” ..haa, damn be cheesiness, he straight up said “I’d wait seasons for you too,”. To be fair, limited time chances like that cannot be wasted; and your reaction was absolutely priceless. Though, it’s been running tracks in his head and heart ever since. Seasons, patience, due diligence. Idia wouldn’t consider himself to be unrealistically cheesy, he doesn’t know what exists beyond death’s door- damned be the irony- let alone the next life, spring. But he knows that in this life, he would wait seasons for your return. He can vow to love you for the entirety of this life, his life. ..Hm, maybe he could take a few other pages from the Greek legends, since you two already have the shared hobby of bingeing everything to do with them. Definitely no library date yet, though, hells no. It’s probably gonna take years for him to even do these night time walks often enough for him to be considered “normal” but really, for the first time ever, Idia can say he doesn’t give a single fuck. As long as you are there for him that long and stay even after, he doesn’t give a fuck how long it takes or what it makes out of him.

@oepionie @sephyriae @neojiarchives @moxxbox @midreallyhascoolbrainrots @spadecentral @lunavixia @la-lolita @rayisalive @siphoklansan @heatofmyexoheart @v-anrouge  BİBLE TWO İS OUT.​