Steven universe head canon

Okay so here is my Steven Universe head canon: I thought of this a couple days ago when it just popped into my head ok here goes So eventually Malachite unfuses and Lapis joins the crystal gems(please) and Jasper escapes and gets back on her hand ship thing (maybe like yellow diamond picks her up or something idk) ok so then they start their hunt for jasper SCENE CHANGE Now we see Peridot(yay) struggling to survive on Earth (it would be easy they said) she’s like this S U C K S bruh. She tried calling up Homeworld on her hand screen thingy(what is that even called what the heck) but no one is picking up. Peri has lost all hope when suddenly her device connects. She’s all confused like what and she realizes she is next to a human coffee shop. She sees a wifi connect-y symbol on the window. Then she looks at her screen and sees the same symbol and the words “wifi detected”. Then she sees that she can call the home world gems. She calls jasper but jasper says it will take a few days to get back to earth, and to just wait until we can get peri home. Peridot goes into gem cursing (DUMB CLODS STUPID ROSE QUARTZING)(I’m just kidding that’s a bad idea) She then realizes that she now has access to human Internet. She goes into the coffee shop and sits down at a table(maybe there can be antics where a waiter comes and asks what she wants and she asks for like jet fuel or whatever gems need to energize themselves and the waiter Just gets her coffee and she doesn’t have any money so she has to WORK THERE HAHA hilarity ensues) she then tries out this internet application. She starts googling stuff like “how long does it take a hand spaceship to get to earth” and eventually finds a space anime(ok now it starts to get good ok I promise) she binge watched the whole series and after a while of searching finds an anime message board. This message board HAPPENS TO BE THE ONE RONALDO GOES ON !!!!!!!!!! She finds chats on the show she watched and starts discussing her theories and junk. (Cuz she’s a huge nerd ok) Ronaldo stumbles upon that chat and starts to talk with peridot. After a while of discussing theories and agreeing that the age old argument about dubs and subs doesn’t matter, Ronaldo casually mentions that he lives in beach city. Peri says that she lives around there and they plan to meet up! Then there’s a cute scene of them sprucing up to meet each other and they have dinner at the fish pizza restaurant (sorry I don’t remember the exact name) They discuss their knowledge on the show and there is a ton of giggling and blushing ok. So at the end of the dinner peri calls Jasper and requests a few extra days on earth for “technical” reasons. Jasper’s like whatever as long as ur not helping rose(Steven) and peris all like ok. Ronaldo asks if they could get lunch again the next day and peri agrees. Then peridot realizes she has no where to stay so she awkwardly asks the crystal gems if she could stay there for the night. The gems wanna fight her and Stevens all like SLEEEPOVER!!!!!!!! So they’re like FINE after Stevens pleading and peridot proving that she’s innocent. After she puts in some of Stevens pjs she lays down next to sleeping Steven. Then SURPRISE the gems attack peridot and “kill” her kinda and bubble her gem. The next day Ronaldo can’t find her anywhere. After looking he goes to Stevens house to ask about her there. Steven explains what happened in his cute naive way and Ronaldo’s all likWHAAAAT and he gives this big monologue to the gems bout why peridot is great and theyre like fine. You can hang out with her but we have to keep close watch. She then regenerates with a new awesome design and Ronaldo’s all like WOAH. So then there is a montage of the two love birds going on dates and discussing anime. She learns about Ronaldo’s blog (ma boi keepbeachcityweird ) and she is so fascinated by it. After a while of going on dates Jasper asks her if her problems are solved. Peridot says “I QUIT!!!!!!!” And she stays with Ronaldo and the gems the end PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING BTW please please please rebeccasugar if you read this I would cry

So i havent been on this blog in forever(Hi guys) but i was nostalgically going through my old posts out of boredom and found this from five years ago... what the fuck