Have you ever struggled with depression for an extended period of time? I struggle on and off and I want it to stop. Any advice would be great!
I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Dysthymic Disorder when I was in high school. I’ve gone through several seasons where I struggled with depression. At times I have been able to overcome it with the love of my family and friends, but there have been times where I also needed the support of a psychiatrist and psychotherapist.
The last time I found myself on rock bottom was spring of 2015, when I chose to take a leave of absence from college to focus on my mental health. I had just lost a friend to suicide and in some ways I felt like God was encouraging me to stop struggling alone and in silence. It was one of the most difficult decisions I had ever made, given how skeptical I was that medication and counseling could possibly help me “this time.” I will never forget the burden of guilt and shame I carried as my dad helped me move out of my dorm room. Only a few of my closest friends knew that I was hitting the “pause” button because the weight of my anxiety and depression was too great to bear. Let me tell you, love, it was the most life-changing season of my life because it was the first time I said “no more” to feeling hopeless and helpless. With everything on the table, I was able to learn how to show myself the same compassion I show the people around me. I would never, ever look down on someone who said they needed help – so why had I been looking down on myself for so long?One thing I want you to know about my story is that it comes and goes. I have a baseline of being at least somewhat anxious and depressed, and unfortunately I can’t take medication to help move that baseline. Returning from my semester leave, I hoped that would be the last time I needed the help of a therapist. I guess I had some lingering self-stigma about seeking mental health counsel, but I still picked up the phone and made an appointment about five weeks ago. It’s not pleasant to tell your life story over and over so that a perfect stranger can help you unpack it for the fourth time, but it’s a necessary evil when life takes its toll on your well-being. I’ve come to the understanding that this may never stop entirely. It’s the thorn in my side. It’s my cross to carry. It’s my burden to bear. But please let this be an encouragement that you are not alone. Depression does not discriminate. It was always difficult for me to understand why I was depressed despite being able to count my blessings. My advice?- Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend. Be kind to yourself. Have compassion for yourself. Give yourself grace. You matter just as much as the next person.- Don’t let the highlight reels of Instagram fool you into believing that you are the only one struggling with depression. Nobody posts pictures of themselves when they feel like their world is falling apart.- Do not let the voice inside your head tell you are are weak for seeking help over and over. I am so glad there are professionals who are educated and trained to help us be strong. - Know that your pain is not in vain. I promise you, what you’re going through will encourage someone who is going through the same thing. Your present will empower your future.