Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear

no no it’s what left behind after the milk has been evaporated cuz only the water goes, not the other stuff

THERE’S WATER IN MILK?

WHAT DID YOU THINK THE LIQUID WAS?

IDK ISNT MILK ITS OWN LIQUID?

NO

IT’S MILK-STUFF MIXED WITH WATER

MILK STUFF? DOESNT IT JUST COME FROM THE COW’S TIT?

ITS LIKE TIT JUICE, THERE IS WATER IN JUICE AND THERE IS WATER IN MILK

It’s fat droplets suspended in water, with some nutrients and soforth dissolved in it. You know, like ranch dressing.

Evaporated milk is just dehydrated milk.

Obsessed with the user who assumed milk was its own element on the periodic table

As op I felt like I had to make this

Milk, the forbidden 119th element

the only question left is if it’s a metal, non-metal, or metalloid.

OP seems to have classified it as a special case of halfnium, reclassified as a lanthanide. This has fascinating implications for electron orbital geometry.

Anyway it’s a rare earth metal apparently.

Yes I definitely classified it intentionally and knew exactly what I was doing when I put it with the lanthanides because I am never wrong

MILK IS A RARE EARTH METAL

I thought so, I took one look at your classification and immediately thought “this is definitely someone with a deep understanding of how the periodic table works”

I’m glad that we have reached a consensus on the expected elemental properties of milk

I’d really like to know what @derinthescarletpescatarian’s thoughts are on milk’s electron orbital geometry

That would involve writing a crash course in how suborbitals work on a post about whether water (the primary ingredient in milk) is in milk and even for tumblr that’s going a bit far

no, it is absolutely not going too far

You guys always complain that you don’t get to learn stuff in normal ways and then you come asking for this

MILK IS SEVERAL COMPOUNDS PLEASE YALL ARE KILLING ME OVER HERE

We have a container of dry milk because in addition to a little fat and sugars, it contains proteins, which settle into the pores of nitrocellulose membranes, making sure analytical proteins (specific antibodies) don’t get trapped. We could just use casein (one of the proteins in milk), but milk is much cheaper and can also be found at Walmart.

No milk is a lanthanide keep up

lanthanide?

I think you mean lactanide

I will put lego in all of your shoes

A cube of milk with 3 inches of edge length can blow up the galaxy.

Our galaxy is actually the result of such an explosion, that’s why we call it the Milky Way

this is a unique sort of thread in which you’ll find two types of people exclusively: nerds and dumbasses

Enter OCEAN EYES and NOT DEAD YET, two of the king’s most quarrelsome stablehands.

OCEAN May one explain what powdered milk doth be? Is it not gas? I live in constant fear.

NOT DEAD The water flees to air, the rest is left. The dry debris then forms the powdered milk.

OCEAN Thou sayest water doth reside in milk?

NOT DEAD Pray tell what thou believ’st the liquid is?

OCEAN Is milk not one pure substance in itself?

NOT DEAD No; ‘tis only milk-stuff mixed with water.

OCEAN Yet milk appears from living cows’ own tits!

NOT DEAD ‘Tis juice from tits, yet water still it holds. If water be in juice, then ‘tis in milk.

Enter DERIN, the scarlet pescatarian.

DERIN ‘Tis drops of fat afloat in water, As if ‘twas dressing for thy greens. With water gone, the powdered milk remains.

A NOTE attached to an arrow, written by BURNING BRAND, flies through the window.

BURNING BRAND’S NOTE Obsessed with he who foolishly believ’d That milk is element of chemistry.

The NOTE crumbles to ash. BURNING BRAND is not seen again.

OCEAN As he who instigated such a fight, I felt that this creation was my duty.

OCEAN unrolls a scroll of parchment with a flourish.

OCEAN Behold, ‘tis milk, one hundred and nineteen.

Enter JASON FUNDER BERKER, a frog.

JASON FUNDER BERKER And yet the burning question still remains: ‘Tis metal, not, or somewhere in between?

JASON FUNDER BERKER does not wait to hear the answer, and exits.

DERIN A lanthinide! A special case, I see. How fascinating, geometrically.  But let us leave atomic musings be. For milk is a rare metal of our Earth.

OCEAN Of course it is, for I am always right. My choices are, of course, deliberate.

DERIN I do not doubt thou speakest truth, my lord Thy brilliant mind is utterly unmatch’d. It seems that an agreement has been reach’d.

OCEAN Of course; however, in sincerity I wish to know thy scholar-driven thoughts.

DERIN I fear ‘twould be beyond thy comprehension. To teach to thee would take this much too far.

Exit OCEAN, in a huff. Enter JESIN, BOOP BOOP, FLIPOCRITE, VELVET, and LOVELY DREAMS, curious onlookers attracted to the scene.

JESIN Do teach us, it would not take this too far!

DERIN Ye all complain of learning strangely, Then ask me baiting questions such as this!

BOOP BOOP Thy gross ineptitude shall be my death! Milk is formed of small component parts. The fat, the sugars, proteins all combine They seep through pores of membranes in this drink Unpleasant compounds all are filter’d out. All this obtained for small amounts of coin.

DERIN No, milk is lanthanide, pray keep the pace.

FLIPOCRITE The word thou mean’st is lactanide, I think.

DERIN May sharpened pain-shaped stones fill up thy shoes So that thou never know’st a moment’s peace.

VELVET A cube of milk, three inches on each side Could blow up the entire galaxy.

DERIN Our galaxy was formed in such a fashion. ‘Tis why we gave it name of “Milky Way.”

LOVELY DREAMS Thus ends our entertainment for the night Here fools and pompous scholars come to fight.

Exuent, pursued by a cow.

(Shakespearean adaptation format inspired by @mortimermcmirestinks​ in this post)

Youpeople have no right to be this funny on my dash so early in the morning

This is one of those threads that would go perfectly as a video set to “in the hall of the mountain king” and we all know it, I’m just not gonna be the one to make it

There's a stereotype that USAmericans tolerate very long car rides.

op I think you may have wildly underestimated american's car tolerance

alright I reflected on the self. I'm 100% sure the beasts are the issue here

Hell yeah bro. 🤝Time for top surgery

sorry homie. I see now you said beasts. Like, The animal . Not breasts. The word for boobs. Did not mean to threaten you.

this is so fucking funny

dystopia

Fun fact, I helped do an install of Amazon’s graphics on the side of their vans a while back and we were briefed on the cameras because if we did anything to set it off for unsafe driving the DRIVER assigned to the van would get in trouble even though they weren’t clocked in at the time we were doing the install.

The hyper-vigilance that Amazon employs against its employees is wild and I’m glad they’re speaking up about it.

#This#This is why i say you have to let things fail or you'll get no help

That's what I kept telling my friend. She was killing herself trying to keep up with demand and I was like "you have to say no, you guys all have to put your foot down together and say no," and she was like "if we do that the patients will suffer" but the thing is IT WILL COLLAPSE ANYWAY. Either you do it now or it happens of its own accord later because they're pushed you all past the realm of possibility; either way, the damage to the patients will be about the same -- in fact it's probably better for the patients if you do it now, as recovering the system is only going to get harder and more complicated and take longer the further they stretch you. The system IS going to collapse and need patching, and the patients ARE going to suffer when that happens. You choose the timing. Killing yourself to buy more time for a substandard level of care doesn't help or solve anything.

Time isn't real

Loving how as soon as electricity was like, a Thing, people just went "you can make toast with this" and started working on electric toasters but they didn't quite have the whole heating element thing down so there was a not insignificant chance of it just exploding

People have been making bread crunchy by heating it up for Ages but for some reason I thought electric toasters would be happening around the same time as like, refrigerators but no people went "easier crunchy bread?" as soon as the technology was available. Not even remotely safe but like, existent. It took Way longer to figure out how to make things cold with electricity

I specify electric toasters because before that they had these bad boys

You just put your slice of bread in there and hold it over your fireplace and bam it's toast time

Actually you didn't have to use those, if you find yourself wanting some toast in victorian england you could also stick your bread on one of these motherfuckers right here

These are the very creatively titled (/s) toasting forks and they look metal as hell for the purpose they serve

You might notice that the tips are bent upwards, which is actually not for inflicting more pain when tormenting the souls of the damned but rather because the bread goes on them like so

And the bend helps keep the bread from sliding off

I know this is the most niche interest shit in the world but just look at that. The victorian era had no reason to go as hard as it did but every day I am grateful for it

But sliced bread didn't exist until... I dunno, but it was after Betty White was born. So would the Victorians just stab a wad of bread and toast it like a s'more or what?

I don't know how to tell you that you can slice a loaf of bread

I was thinking about how funny it would be if, as I've joked before, Anakin was Extremely Online and spent a ton of time on an R2 Unit Hobbyist Forum or something. Like obviously Obi-Wan and Padme and Ahsoka etc all know he's super into tricking out his astromech, but they don't realize he's got this whole other life that no one else knows about and he's like, sneaking away to go to conventions and meetups. And on the flip side, none of his online friends know he's a Jedi, they just know him as radakin12345 or whatever. Maybe he gives them a fake "real" name when he meets his internet friends in person so that they won't be able to find out who he really is. (Everyone's always kind of concerned for his well-being because half the time when he finally joins them at the bar at the hotel they're all staying at for this year's con, he looks like he just came off of a battlefield, for God's sake.)

I felt like this would be humorous until I considered the aftermath of Anakin's fall, because maybe he just totally drops off the face of the universe then and stops responding to DMs and emails and his fanzine stops publishing new issues. All of his friends think he's either decided he hates them, or he's died, and they have no way to confirm anything one way or another. Like, somebody probably eventually starts a Radakin12345 Memorial Thread or something. 😢 But then I realized that I have no reason to suspect that Anakin wouldn't just keep right on posting even when he's Darth Vader (I mean, Artoo might be gone, but he's got a whole warehouse full of other droids to work on, and also this is an excellent way to keep an eye out for a particular blue astromech maybe showing up in buy/sell/trade threads.) So now the idea that a bunch of clueless internet nerds are, unbeknownst to them, friends with one of the most terrifying beings in the entirely galaxy is making me laugh.

(They all wonder why he suddenly decided not to come to any more in-person gatherings, though. Anakin claims the conventions have just gotten "too commercial" for his tastes. It used to be about the droid-building, man. 😂)

I see this and raise you Luke Skywalker in those forums, picking up tips and tricks from him because no other droid builder on the forums has been able to give him a straight answer about adapting the designs for sand

As a mass comm major, IF THERE IS SOMETHING UNJUST OR IMMORAL BEING DONE CALL YOUR LOCAL NEWS STATION THEY WILL HELP MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

Cities and government agencies HATE bad press. This story that was told to me by the journalist that covered this, and he showed us the piece:

There was a traffic light that was set up on the far side of an overpass, but it was improperly hung so you couldn’t see the light until it was too late. There were accidents there EVERY SINGLE DAY and calls to the city did NOTHING.

Someone had the idea to call the local news station and this dude went out to see. As he was interviewing someone, there was a wreck.

Guess what happened after that piece aired?

Suddenly the city had the time to lower the traffic light and the accidents stopped.

Journalists get a bad rep, and while big stations like Fox deserve it, I think more thought should be given to who you’re actually shitting on when you say “I hate journalists.” Because we’re overworked, underpaid, constantly shit on, but we still do the job because we want to help people. All professional, prestigious journalists that I’ve met hate the government and will do whatever they can to get the information and change that’s needed. Being a journalist is a dangerous profession: at every professional convention I’ve been at there’s a fund for the families of journalists that have been killed (there’s a lot!) and a long memoriam roll.

SUPPORT LOCAL NEWS STATIONS

When I was in college, my dorm flooded.

From above.

Let me explain: the rain was so bad and the roof so shitty and the building so old that water was pouring in from ceilings and light sockets. The dorm had drop ceilings, and saturated tiles were plopping out onto the floor covered in mold—this clearly was not the first time this had happened.

My mom called the news after she saw my room and heard the school had no plans to assist students who’d just lost clothes, textbooks, computers, personal belongings, and more. She was as furious as we were.

The school refused to let media into the dorm “for student privacy” and had the president make a statement about how it was just a couple of disgruntled students and everything was fine.

This was before cameraphones, so they assumed that was that.

Their fatal mistake was in forgetting the initial complainant (i.e., ME) WAS A JOURNALISM MAJOR. First year, but that was still enough to know what basic information a news story needed.

My mom smuggled me a camcorder in a basket of laundry. I interviewed people from my floor and the floor above complete with “I consent to be on video for TV purposes” verbal disclaimers, showed the moldy tiles and water dripping out of lights and my own room three inches deep in water. One of my floormates heard what I was doing and called me into her room and said “you should get THAT” and showed me a power strip she needed to unplug because it was sparking and couldn’t unplug because it was in a puddle of water. (We eventually managed to find a pair of rubber gloves to pull the plug out of the very damp wall, but it was a great visual. “Nothing wrong” my ass.)

My mom took the tape to the news station. They used my footage with the president’s statement.

In under 48 hours, the college said that if you’d lost stuff due to the flood, you should contact Res Life for assistance.

In under two weeks they announced plans to build new dorms and retire my building.

Local. Journalism. Works.

Snoop Dogg watching the Skateboarding finals with an unidentified man

I LOVE TUMBLR

Context. Don't cut off the thread to intentionally obscure meaning.

Guinea Pigs Eating a Grass Field

this is so cute <3 <3

you should really watch the entire video before reblogging

What is the target audience for this video

aimless efforts

I keep thinking abt this comment and giggling