Getting Through

“do you think i research my comments” is the funniest thing i have ever heard a straight person say im gonna say it all the time 

Cishet: *sees a color* what is this gay shit

Craigslist ad said “remodeled to look like a dodge challenger” via Shitty_Car_Mods

men are allowed to be so mediocre it’s insulting on the deepest level

Would you unfollow me if I reblogged this every single day? That is how often I think it.

Mediocre men get to make mediocre movies and write mediocre books about other mediocre men, but if a woman steps outside a door in a sweater and some plain jeans, she “let her self go”, “isnt even trying anymore!”

if a man creates something mediocre it’s just “a bad book” or “a bad movie”.. if a man is a bad leader he’s just, well, “a bad leader”

if a woman creates something mediocre, or if a woman’s a bad leader it becomes about how “all women are bad at _____,” or about how “no woman is a natural leader”

and that’s a really disheartening fact to all women. men are always allowed to be a work in progress. women always have to be the flawless finished product.

men are always allowed to be a work in progress. women always have to be the flawless finished product.

https://xkcd.com/385/

Life imitates art

this is literally the real life version of getting the right answer on a math test by using the wrong function

Compilation of the Queer Eye guys (1/?): Putting up with clients

i’m laughing sooo hard @ my dad’s denial of how fat our dog is lmao

“In fact, during the audition with Chris Evans, the script says, “Spidey flips into scene,” and Tom goes, “Oh, should I do that?” Evans is like, [sarcastically] “Oh, yeah. Yeah, you just flip into the scene kid. No, you just walk in.” He does it. A standing flip, jump, flip, land. Even Chris Evans was like, “What…what happened?” - Kevin Feige, producer and President of Marvel

You hire Spider-Man and you fucking got Spider-Man.

so i sent this email/“essay” to cards against humanity and uh

i didn’t expect to get this far

update:

Lmao, this is amazing

Person: Are you hungry?

Me: No.

Person: … Your stomach is growling…

Me: My stomach doesn’t know what its talking about. It’s fine

Fucking relatable and funny as heck

Few things lay bare America’s pretentions about class so clearly as the distinction between a “tiny house” and a “mobile home.”

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.

Two things I learned.

One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.

Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.

However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are

AND NOW IVE THROWN HIM OFF HIS RHYTHM

Listen I’ll stop trashing Snape as soon as someone can give me a good reason for Neville Longbottom, the boy whose parents were tortured to insanity by someone who is still alive, to be more afraid of Snape than anything in the world.

Every time this post appears I check out the notes to see what excuses people have come up with to defend Snape

Today’s runner up is: its not (30-plus year old) Snape’s fault he abused children, because Dumbledore let him

And the grand prize trashiest response goes to: Neville was so bad at potions he endangered other kids, so Snape was just doing his best to protect them

I’m going to be honest, this is probably the funniest thing a straight person has ever said