Wyrm

and then they proceeded to be the worst at their jobs for the next 20 years

No no, you don’t get it. Jesse and James are the absolute best there is at their jobs, but they have no idea what their jobs are.

They think that they’re thieves, agents of an elite criminal group led by Giovanni, stealing rare pokemon and advanced technology and such. And there might have been a time this actually was their jobs. In the first season or two, they frequently get angry phone calls about how they’ve fucked everything up, or get their expense account cut off because they have literally never turned a profit on their criminal enterprises and constantly procure and then lose/destroy expensive and elaborate devices.

But then the world came within a hair’s breadth of being destroyed, several times, and Jesse, James, and their weird cat rescued everybody. As terrible as they’ve always been at criminal endeavors of any kind, when the apocalypse approaches and they’re forced to step up, they’re really fucking good at saving the day.

And Giovanni is over here like… if the planet is destroyed, or time/space becomes unrecognizable, or civilization collapses, there’s no way for me to run a profitable criminal enterprise anymore. I need this planet, because it’s where I keep all my stuff. And I don’t pretend to understand the why of it, but these couple of bumbling nutcases that I should have fired years ago seem to be an important component of that? Somehow? So you gotta stop thinking about them in terms of acquisitions and start considering them… loss prevention. As in, even if you waste a million dollars a month on giant cat-faced robots and a vast array of fancy ball gowns and they never turn a profit, they are preventing all of your assets from going away at the same time because of something you can’t do anything about.

And that’s the great secret behind Team Rocket. These guys aren’t thieves, they’re professional superheroes (sponsored by organized crime). Of course, nobody ever bothered to tell them that.

“To protect the world from devastation…”

Plus, as is frequently pointed out: Jesse and James are good at every other job EXCEPT Team Rocket. They’re actually smart businesspeople and run successful food and merchandise stands and are great salespeople. Hell, even in Team Rocket situations where they’re not chasing after Pikachu they’ve done better. It’s just their Achilles Heel is one damn OP rodent.

Pikachu Proximity Intelligence Chart

Baby comes into the room sniffling and squeezing his stuffie, grabbing my attention.

“Why are you mad at me?” Baby sobs softly, shying away from my touch when I reach out for him and and protectively holding his stuffie close

“Oh, sweet thing.. I’m not mad at you… what’s wrong, baby? Why do you think I’m mad, hm? It’s alright, everything’s okay.” I try and soothe him.

Baby crying so hard he can’t respond..

“Shhh, honey… breathe, bub, take a nice deep breath okay? Can you do that? There you go. Can your stuffie too? Oh, good job!”

I reach out to hold his hands, “there we go.. it’s okay. What’s wrong, my sweet boy? I’m not upset with you.”

Gently rubbing my thumb across the back of his hands, waiting patiently for him to tell me.

“Don’t feel good..” he whimpers softly, looking down at his stuffie friend slumped in his lap.

“Awh, bud.. I can tell… what’s bothering you, baby? Everything’s alright now, we’re okay.”

I slowly reach out for his stuffie and lift it up to make it press a “kiss” on his cheek, giving a gentle smile as he takes it from me and squeezes it.

“Mm.. head feels.. yucky…” he sniffles, wiping his eyes.

“That’s okay, sweet boy.. how about we just lay down and snuggle. Would that help?”

He nods and allows himself into my arms, nuzzling up against my chest as I pull a nice heavy blanket over us.

“You’ll feel better soon, darling, don’t worry.”

i am tucking him into bed..... goodnight little guy

YOU RUINED ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SHOWS... YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!

womp

id not let a singular account in a massive place like the internet ruin a show for me

if you really like that show i doubt youd let something as insignificant as this (a post beyond billions of other posts) ruin your show 😅

(besides what is it about exposing yourself to media that you wont like or will 'ruin something for you'? its clear youre doing this to troll so just, try harder...? to troll better...? idk)

Things people have casually done that have accidentally triggered my regression

🌸🧡🌸🧡🌸🧡🌸🧡🌸🧡🌸🧡🌸

did i ever post my favorite version of “controversial ways i raise my dog”

i’m COUGHING

We salute a working class hero 🫡

quote from the article, including the name of the cool hammer lady ^_^

vote yes if you have finished the entire book.

vote no if you have not finished the entire book.

(faq · submit a book)

I'll be honest with you, I feel completely alone in this community. I'm always too tired to make any fancy drawings or posts, so I guess that means that I'm not interesting to people. I've asked for comfort, I've explored headcanons, and no one has been there for me. I have no friends who know about my regression. I might just quit it altogether.

tbh i also feel like this n jumped into making posts only to find out that im creeped out by interacting with complete strangers especially when it comes to my coping mechanism

tho unlike you i guess i just expected social interaction to be easy but then jumped when i actually got it

HI WHOEVEVER REQUESTED THE MARKUS CG HERES THE ART I TWEAKED SEATCHING FOR

get you a man who can do both

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

We interviewed her, obviously.

update:

Such a developing story.

I love this story

This was a wild ride from start to finish

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

I found it!! The original post!!