there's a thin line between being cunty and being a cunt. sirius black is that line.
in an alternative universe, sirius black asks law student!marlene to defend him in court after the attack at the potters. not much changes from canon in the end, but it was the funniest trial ever held 🔝
lines that i sadly had to leave out:
“your honour…do you have a younger sister?”
“your honour, my client was the victim’s homie he wouldn’t do it believe me”
“your honour, look at him, he’s such a good boy!” *shows sirius as padfoot*
close up of remus being done w life:
NOTHING YOURE DOING GODS WORK DOWN HERE
"PADS!! Have you seen my drum stick?!"
- James, probably
(close-ups under cut)
OMG YOU DREW THIS!!!!!!!! AND WROTE A FIC!!!!
james potter’s OG Hoes™️ (some of them ain’t loyal)
close ups and the sketch bc i like it a lot:
OH MY GOD
WOW IM JUST SO WOWED
this might be the cuntiest sirius you've ever drawn. good work<33
1969/1979
that one teacup scene from uptown girl that’s going viral on tik tok but make it black brothers angst
i was also thinking abt making a regulus version but idk-also drawing/writing angst while listening to girly pop music is a surreal experience i highly recommend
NOTHGINGFCHDCXNDH THIS IS SO FIRE
IM GOING FERAL
Sirius who tinkers
I STRONGLY AGREE SO DAMN HARD
buzzed
marlene lasted about a week before using a hair growth potion while remus…let’s just say he was more motivated to commit to the bit…
(also new but she’s a cheerleader! chapter) (loving the subliminal messages i leave in my wednesday posts lmao)
close ups!
The boy of stars burns the brightest
Eyes like rivers that never weep
Crescent moon scars, hair of ebony and ash
A tragedy of a glowing soul
Charm is an old friend
Humor is his cloak of invisibility
Stretched thin from wear
And the darkness seeps
A boy of carefree words
A man of careless sins
Who reached for love and watched it shatter
Falling away at his own fault, A man of his own undoing
Twisting hands wrangled his defiant heart
The hands of his boyhood days
Whose grip is as firm as laughter
But now it twists sharply like a knife
The dorms aren’t what they once were
They echo of feet that had ran its halls a million times
It is innocent bliss
That they don’t hear the dull thunk of stone
a hardened heart been betrayed
(randomly felt like blessing y’all with sirius black poetry lmao)
IM GONNA SCREAM FUCK THAT I AM SCREAMING EVERYONE COME LOOK AT ARI'S POETRY
straight sirius black is my worst enemy currently
Sirius and James were not the same type of rich, I see this a lot, and a lot of people think that it’s canon, which is just, incorrect. James came from new money, Sirius came from old money.
Fleamont Potter’s business heavily, HEAVILY contributed to James’ wealth, sure Harry by our terms and by wizard terms inherited a LOT, absolutely, but from what we know from canon it’s incomparable to the Blacks fortune, it’s like comparing Draco’s and Harry’s wealth at the start of the series, you can’t.
Another thing to add is that the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black has that name for a reason, now sure, just because they’re known doesn’t mean they’re rich but we can quite confidently say they were, if you wanted to argue for the Potters’ being wealthier, you could I guess say that at the time the Blacks were a declining old money family, but they were still incredibly, INCREDIBLY wealthy.
We don’t know for certain how rich they were, or if they were richer than the Malfoys but because of how money works, old money specifically, we can say that at some point in the last few centuries(pre 1980) that they were as rich, or even richer than the Malfoys, however they weren’t as rich as them when it reached the 80’s. We can also guess they had the same amount of money or one of them had more, because Narcissa married Lucius so theoretically, Narcissa would have to be on the same level as Lucius in terms of wealth and vice versa.
Another thing we can use to calculate their wealth is their past history with house elves, from what we know from Ronald Weasley in Chamber of Secrets, a wizard/witch has to be “rolling in dough” to have a house elf, we can then look at the wall of dead house elves heads that the family had, and can make assumptions from there.
So, with all this information, we don’t have an exact amount, but, we know that even if they weren’t as wealthy as we paint them they were still known, and their opinions were highly regarded by an astounding amount, but then again, they were still insanely rich, and in terms of wealth and fame, leagues above the Potters.
The Potters were extremely wealthy, but the Blacks were loaded.
Anyways that’s the end of my Ted talk.
Remus: Hahaha Sirius, you're so short.
Sirius: Well, put some inches in me then!
Remus:
Sirius:
James:
Peter:
Sirius, jumping onto a chair: ew! someone kill it!!!
Mcgonagall: Sirius you cannot do that every time Severus walks in.
she was internally agreeing with him but she's a professional so
“I TOOK MY BROTHER TO THE ASTRONOMY TOWER-YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT WE FOUND!! 🔥🔥🤯🤯#NOCLICKBAIT”
S: see, reggie? no one ever comes here-
S: CISSA?
N: what are you doing up so late?!
S: WITH A BLOKE!
A: ahi ahi ahi…
S: cissa is up in the astronomy tower-
N: go away before i give you detention!
S: SNOGGING A BLOKE!
N: SIRIUS-
R: let’s go…
shoutout to my cuties:
why am i only seeing this now nothing this a masterpiece
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, who are both touch-starved.
Remus because even his own parents were scared of him. He never had real friends before. People flinched away from him.
Sirius because Walburga and Orion are the worst parents on the planet and haven’t hugged him in years.
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black who are never not touching each other, even if it’s just barely pressed together knees or a hand on a shoulder. Who can only stand each other’s touch, because they’re afraid of everyone else’s.
James is not paid enough for this
- Sirius didn't go to the Potter house after running away from his parents, not right away.
- He went to diagon alley, James found him there, sleeping in the alley by his favorite quidditch store.
- Euphemia and Fleamont were talking to the Weasley's, outside of Gringotts when James showed up with a poor and sick looking Sirius who looked like he hadn't been fed in days, which may have been entirely possible.
- Sirius didn't believe it. the Potters would let him live with them, for however long he needed or wanted? Without payment? Everything costs money though??
- He waited anxiously for the switch as soon as they were out of earshot to complain and criticize "three kids already AND another on the way" instead it was "Molly truly glows, she's made to be a mother!" Maybe he'd know what they really thought of the Weasley's once they were home?
- He waited with anxiety to be told how unkempt and horrible he looked.
- Effie didn't scold him. he got a hearty meal before a bath and a nap in Jame's room. Just for now "She'd make up a bed for him for tonight."
- Sirius waited or them to get mad that when he was more comfortable sharing the room with James, after she'd gone through all that work to prepare a room for him, ready before he even woke from the sorely needed map.
- Waited for the switch of personalities as soon as they're no longer in public
- Waited for the anger that would surface as soon as they were home
- For them to blame him
- How could they be happy all the time?? Surely it was an act. Surely they'd stop acting like they're ok with him staying after a day. After two days? After a week? After he messed up? After he broke something? After he was too loud? After a month? How long were they gonna keep the act going?
- Even when Fleamont was overworked and late for supper he wouldn't come in yelling and slamming doors, insisting everyone was far too loud. He'd tiredly smile as Euphemia warmed the food she set aside for him and she'd come over with the plate and a soft kiss.
- Even when Sirius caused a mess carrying dishes to the sink and the bread was burnt and the dishes piled up and the laundry getting rained on out on the lines Euphemia smiled and they had dinosaur shaped burnt-scraped-off bread for dinner with jam from a jar that had a broken edge.
- Even when James grumbled about being made to do chores and a splinter in his finger swelled, he smiled and joked around.
- The Potters were happy?? They didn't fake everything for the public eye??
- Euphemia didn't tell James to "remember who he represents" she reminded James to be careful and to take a coat, just in case
- Euphemia reminded Sirius that he should take a coat too, James had an extra one Sirius could have.
- Dishes and meal cleanup weren't a punishment. everyone chipped in. Fleamont started the dishes while James cleared the table and Euphemia put the extra food in containers "we should visit the Longbottoms with a casserole." "Indeed, I quite enjoyed the one with the cheese you made last week, I'm certain they'd enjoy that one" "but only if you put some of that special sauce on top too, Ma." Easy, casual conversation??
- They all went to sit together in the living room after dinner and they didn't all just go separate ways on their own. Checkers? Newspaper? Sewing? They did it alone but together but in the same room.
- Fleamont asked for his opinion.
- Euphemia asked for his help, even after he made a mess, last time.
- James wanted to spend every earthly moment with him, it didn't matter what they were doing, just as long as we're together.
- All three told him they were happy they got to spend time with him, even if the reasons for him being there were sad.
- They let James keep the kitten he found, at least till they found the owner.
- Euphemia praised Sirius' singing, whether French classical or David Bowie.
- He got to help decorate for Christmas this year. The hundreds of random and uncoordinated ornaments that each had a story. The year Fleamont and Euphemia started dating, and how this chip was because she threw it at him during one fight, but they laugh about that story now. James' first Christmas, he had the poofiest hair as a baby.
- James got to fly his broom inside to hang the garlands and tinsel from room to room. James trying to hide the mistletoe, and smiling when he failed.
- Sirius hadn't wanted to get married, before. He didn't want a marriage like his parents.
- Sirius wanted to love like the Potter's, to laugh every morning with his best friend. To keep mistletoe in his pocket for nearly a whole month, just to see his partner's smile every time.
- Sirius hopes he and someone special can love each other the way Euphemia and Fleamont love each other.
- He wants to be like the Potters.
- He'd make himself love like the Potters not like the Blacks.
Sirius "I am destroying myself so other people can't. and it's the worst kind of control but it's the only form I know." Black