Life amirite?

Today my Advanced Clinical Pathology professor trailed off in the middle of class and said, “If I seem distracted, it’s because last night I was talking with a friend and she asked ‘Who’s that chick in Titanic?’ but all I heard was ‘Chicken Titanic,’ and ever since then I’ve been thinking about a chicken on the bow of the Titanic like Kate Winslet, wings held high. It’s all I can think about.”

My hand moved on its own

eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

(sigh) okay... (CRUUEEENNNCH....) (SCREEEEEENCH...) owie.. (CRUUEEENCH)

this is one of the most rewarding things about posting self care tips on this site. witnessing people's lives getting better in real time. this is why I post

i missed this post

“Hello human”

reblog to be eaten by this thing

people are assuming they can get out of being eaten, lol. lmao.

Poseidon: How will you sleep at night?

Odysseus: Next to my wife.

Poseidon: And do you think she'll be proud of you torturing a god?!

Odysseus: Dude, she's from Sparta. Me telling her this is gonna be like foreplay for her.

Just to be clear, Kamala conceded with grace and dignity but it is still well within everyone’s right to demand an investigation and even a recount with due cause despite a winner being declared. U.S.Americans have the right to demand free and fair elections (we don’t have a right to, say, start an insurrection like certain people did after the 2020 election).

Many, including major swing states, (Nevada, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and more) have already admitted to data and ballots not being recognized or lost and are recounting or calling for a recount. It usually takes days to count and record votes, a day after a bunch of election tampering is not enough.

If you used a mail-in ballot and haven’t yet, check if it was actually counted and “recognized.” A lot of mail-in voters from swing states found out that their ballots were uncounted today.

deploy the boy

Someone tagged this as duck… fellas, let me introduce you to the Stilt

On account of his stilts. Of course

Urgent: The Monterey Bay Aquarium has a 24hr Livestream featuring black-necked stilts along with western snowy plovers.

the recreation + child-making area is right next to the septic outlet. if humans were 'intelligently designed' it was by a civic engineer that should've been fired

We have a blindspot in our eyes because our optic nerve goes through the retina.

our last set of molars often grows in sideways because we don't even need them anymore

Our bodies eventually evolved to turn off the ability to heal from spinal injuries because the repair process is so poorly coded that it was more likely to kill us than it was to help. The reason your spine doesn’t mend itself like other body parts and deteriorates is because we have specific genes telling the body “don’t fucking try to fix that thing, just leave it the fuck alone, all you’ll do is fuck it up”.

#the human body is it's own argument against the existence of god

I didn't realize how disgusting light bulbs were till I had to dump THOUSANDS of them into a gaylord. I am now dingey and smell like grandmas ashes

Pardon me?

i forgor not everyone knows what gaylords r but it's these big bitches watermelons and shit come in, we use em to store paint and bulbs lmao

You mean a box???

I work in a warehouse and have to deal with these all the time. They’re called gaylords because they were popularized by a company called Gaylord iirc. You get used to calling them gaylords but every so often you say it to a person who doesn’t know and it hits you.

One time at work, I texted my boss about an order of them that came in by saying “there’s a 1400lb gaylord in the warehouse. besides me, of course.”

its always fun when we get new ppl at work that get whiplash when they hear us scream across the shop for three gaylords

i … did not know that

via @katyagoncharov

hot tip! if you ever find yourself googling gloryhole in order find a picture to show someone else what it looks like (pictured below btw), REMEMBER TO TACK ON GLASSBLOWING AT THE END

The place I work has a sign reading "PP MOD GAYLORDS ONLY" and I can't take a picture of it cause HIPAA but it makes me laugh every time

why are all these modern aus for the Odyssey set in a high school. where's the retelling where Odysseus is just a guy lost in an airport who keeps missing his connecting flights home due to a comical series of delays and disgruntled airline employees

Absolutely genuis

Every few minutes, someone honks. The woman behind the wheel shifts and lowers her sunglasses to glare at the circling cars in the rearview mirror. Vultures. Let them curse. She keeps her doors locked and her phone battery charged. Penelope has been waiting in the arrivals lot for far too long, and she refuses to give up her place for anyone.

that fucker's not using his turn signal

Juvenile gazebo migrating to a new farmer's market.

Heart-shaped spider web

that one hot goth outside the diy venue smoking her menthols while u nervously try to remember how to talk to people