Reblog and put in the tags if you can remember where you got the shirt you're currently wearing.

Guess what play I finally read recently

(I have yet to read Goethe's version, even though I included one joke based on that)

It’s like every week something weird happens.

I can’t even begin to imagine how many episodes would be improved just by Picard giving a stumbling, awkward exposition of the episode’s plot to the crew

ALL episodes could be improved if we saw Picard’s awkward, stumbling exposition to the crew of what’s going on that episode. In fact, I really wanna see that.

“Attention crew, this is your captain speaking. You may notice my voice sounds different, and uh, long story short, I’m 12 again. Another transporter thing, we should really get that looked at. Anywhooo if a little blonde kid starts ordering you around, don’t ignore him, because it’s me. Ok. Bye.”

“Okay so, you may have noticed large parts of the ship transforming into some kind of Mayan temple, and Commander Data running around and talking in several different voices. We are aware of the situation and taking steps to restore things to normal.”

“Q’s fucking back again”

This might be fun to do as a fan video project.

Like, edit together some of those shots of people walking through corridors, and do a voiceover with a slight tinny filter, and be like “All Crew: this is Ensign Turing with today’s update: We’ve entered a realm of non-space and there’s some non-corporeal energy being here who wishes to learn about humanity, including death. The captain has activated the self-destruct. Please complete your will and any last messages by 1300 hours at the latest. Thanks!”

just go through the episodes and record the PA announcements the crew might have gotten 2/3rds of the way through the episode.

I'm old (I was in college when Columbine happened) so they weren't a thing when I was in school, but when I was teaching high school they didn't do it for shooter drills with students. HOWEVER they did fire cap guns (not blanks, which would be INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS) for faculty-only active shooter training. Which was bullshit, incidentally. Two of my colleagues huddled up during the explanation of the rules so they could plot to get "the ladies" out of the room safely, because the whole thing was a lot more about dickwaving than it was about actually training anyone to protect students. Which The Ladies would also presumably have to do in an actual incident, so the whole thing was condescending as fuck.

(Also the cops running the exercise wouldn't even let me participate because I'm fat and have resting panic face so I guess they assumed I would have a heart attack and die and leave them vulnerable to lawsuits)

hmm its like I crave some type of eternal and brutal punishment but I'm not exactly sure for what

We all agree, right?

Why Tony Todd is awesome.

Lemme tell you a story about Tony Todd.

You know him. Yeah, you do.

This fly mofo has been in everything. Like, seriously. He’s been in some major Hollywood movies (Platoon, for example, The Rock and all the Final Destination movies) but is probably most famous for playing the Candyman, and starring in about a million B-horror movies. His list of TV credits reads like a comprehensive list of genre and procedurals. Your favorite show? He was probably in it. He’s just been cast in a recurring role in “The Flash.”

But among geeks, he is probably most famous for his recurring role in both TNG and DS9 as Kurn, Worf’s brother.

Kurn was a fantastic character with a developed arc over many seasons (which ended horribly but we won’t go there). Todd also guest starred in DS9 (sans Klingon makeup) as an older Jake Sisko

Also he has a voice like deepest smoothest melted chocolate. 

Tony was a guest at Shore Leave, a fan-run mostly-Trek convention I attended many years ago in Towson. He was a great panelist, funny and honest.

Now, Klingon cosplayers are always a big deal at Trek conventions. They do not fuck around. Their outfits could walk right onto a set and be filmed. Shore Leave always featured a whole contingent of Klingons. They’d run a Klingon Jail - you could pay to have your buddy kidnapped by Klingons and put in jail, and they’d have to raise money to make bail, and then all the proceeds went to charity.

Most Klingon cosplayers I knew weren’t that into Worf. He was just too…Starfleet. So when Kurn came along (and before Martok, the ultimate Klingon character of Trek), he was sort of the standard-bearer. He had been raised Klingon (unlike Worf, who was raised by humans) and was the very image of an honorable Klingon warrior. So you can imagine the excitement when Todd was a guest.

After the panel, we all left the hall, and there in the lobby was a big group of Klingons, standing in formation, in all their costumed glory, waiting to greet Tony. We all stood around to see.

He walked out and saw them. He didn’t greet them. He didn’t smile. He didn’t say hi.

No. Without missing a beat, he strutted up to them, and started…dressing them down.

Suddenly, he WAS Kurn. No makeup, but it was like Kurn was there. Walking up and down the ranks, calling them maggots, criticizing their attention, their bearing. Asking why none of them had bruises. Were they not fighting? Was their bat’leth practice falling behind? Where was the blood? And WHY WAS NOBODY DRUNK. He really tore into them, a little twinkle in his eyes.

The Klingons stood there, responding with SIR YES SIR when he addressed them, quivering with joy.

It was so awesome.

RIP, my good sir. You were a real one.

Qapla!

𝗍𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝖻𝗒 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗅𝗍

I have this audio CD of Ambroise Thomas' Hamlet with Thomas Hampson singing the title role, and the way he approaches the text is so fucking weird, I would pay good money to see a video of how he played that.

I don't think it exists, though.

Twelfth Night opera fantasy cast because apparently there is no major opera based on it, which is a CRIME, and also apparently I’m falling down the Shakespearean Rabbit Hole again:

Viola (alias Cesario): Léa Desandre

Sebastian: Iestyn Davies (listen. countertenor Sebastian. It makes sense. LISTEN)

Olivia: Angel Blue

Orsino: Artur Ruciński

Feste: could see this going two ways—if baritone, then Simon Keenlyside, if bass-baritone, then Christian van Horn

Malvolio: John Relyea

Maria: Isabel Leonard

Sir Andrew Aguecheek: Lawrence Brownlee

Sir Toby Belch: Ambrogio Maestri

Antonio: Matthew Polenzani

it’s really easy to become obsessed with a shakespeare play you just have to watch one version of it and then read the play and then go mad trying to watch every possible version of it you can find and then study several centuries worth of performance history and controversy