#you're literally doing what these people are talking about

shokveyv reblogged

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

hollowboobtheory

"Sorry for hurting your feelings earlier. I was trying to say x, but I guess it came across wrong. I don't think you're stupid."

"Sorry I snapped at you. I didn't get enough sleep last night so my patience is a little low today."

is a better apology than

"I want you to know that I am sorry that my actions offended you. I take full accountability for my actions and I am listening and learning. I hear you."

tommycake

People have started to equate explanation with excuse when they are NOT the same. You aren't excusing your actions if you explain them. "Hi I'm sorry I was so snappy earlier, I didn't get enough sleep last night but that's not on you and I'm going to be a little more careful with my tone" is very different from "You can't be mad at me because there was a good reason I was rude"

#cancel culture definitely had an impact on apologies making it hard to explain anything. Calling everything an excuse #it turns people off and makes people less likely to apologize because they know you'll just overanalyse and demonize it #making people less likely to learn from their actions and change #esp talking about the individual in my pinned post who said “TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY” like have you never received a legitimate apology??#you're literally doing what these people are talking about #evil people like this i just block because both therapists said its toxic unhealthy and doesn't promote healing. it's just cruelty