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for the heartbroken and the lonely

@shmwrites / shmwrites.tumblr.com

(s.m) © shmwrites 2017
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my life is undoubtedly better without you in it. but a part of me still wishes it could’ve gotten better with you by my side, i wish it didn’t take you leaving for me to grow into the person i’m supposed to become. i wish you could’ve stayed while it happened. i know you stopped loving the person i was but i know you would love the person i am now and that’s what hurts the most. i’m sorry that it had to be this way. i really wish it wasn’t.

i hope you’re well - a letter to my first love.

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you tell me that you’ve moved on and want me out of your life for the new year. i’m drunk and already upset but you say it anyway, maybe because you know i won’t let you go otherwise. so i swallow your words like fire, burning my throat and causing my eyes to flood and oh my god does it hurt so badly. but all i can do is look at the ground as my tears fall at our feet, i can’t bare to look into your loveless and pitiful eyes. and i think to myself that no one deserves to feel this like, that i deserve better and that i’ll find better once i let you go. so i walk away, a drunken mess with heartbreak written all over my face but i walk away determined to let you go. and for me, that means something. for me, that’s strong.

last year was about surviving the mess you made when you left, this year i’ll move on from it.

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