when he left me i was heartbroken. i howled to the moon every night begging for him to come back. he didn’t. we talked about it six months later. i could say i was bitter or hurt or happy or healing but the truth was that i was still in love. he told me it took him several months to stop loving me. that he still loved me when he left despite telling me otherwise. i was outraged and heartbroken all over again. why would he leave me if he loved me? i couldn’t wrap my head around it. why did he put us both through the heartbreak? why why why and not a single answer in sight. it wasn’t until a year of us not being together had passed and i realised that he’d made the right decision leaving. i had taken steps i was too lazy to take before to improve my life, i had to, the break up felt like it could’ve killed me if i didn’t change. i now realise that leaving can be an act of love too. he knew we both deserved more, so he made the difficult decision to leave, despite how hard i made it for him. so if this ever comes back to you, i’m not angry anymore, i’m just sorry we weren’t meant to be forever. but i’m glad our paths crossed. i’ll be forever grateful for that. i’ll be forever grateful for you.
i love you still, but not in the same way - i hope you’re happy now.