please

don’t remember me

broken and hurting

pleading with you not to leave

because i don’t remember you

walking away with a heavy heart

begging me to let you go

don’t let the end

tarnish what we had

don’t let the end

change how you see me

please

don’t let the end

really be the end

s.m

#spilled ink #inkskinned #spilled words #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled writing #spilled poetry #heartbreak #unrequited love #spilled prose #spilled poem #break up quote #prose poetry

shmwrites

if my first love had stayed

he wakes up, makes his breakfast and leaves for work before i am up. he doesn’t kiss me goodbye while i sleep. he says he forgets to. he is always forgetting. we sleep so far apart it feels like we are in different beds. i am convinced one day the space between our bodies will be so big i won’t be able to reach him anymore. he says he loves me but it doesn’t sound how it used to. i wonder if love is supposed to make you feel so unlovable. i say it back but the words feel empty in my mouth. they linger in the air a moment before they are enveloped in the silence that fills the room. it is always the words that aren’t said that hurt the most. the silence becomes a part of our daily life. the third person in the relationship we turn to when all else fails. his words have made me cry but somehow his silence stings so much more. i wonder what happened to the two kids that learned what love was together. i wonder if this was always going to be our fate. if we were never meant to be forever, if we were only meant to be for the time being. i wonder if there is someone who would remember to kiss me before they leave for work. i wonder if love is remembering how to stop loving. if love is walking away. i am starting to think sometimes love is knowing it’s time to go no matter how badly you’d like to stay.

shmwrites

i like to imagine that we could go back in time together and tell the past versions of us that we wouldn’t be in love in a years time. i’d love to see your face when i’d tell you that you were the one who left, who gave up, who stopped fighting for us. that in a years time you would be sitting with another girl and replacing the memories we made. i bet you wouldn’t believe it, you always said you loved me more. and you never liked to be wrong. i bet we would both be horrified “that’s not possible” the old us would cry naively. “we love each other!” i like to think we could at least laugh about it as the old us looked at us both puzzled and distraught. “we did” i’d say and i’d swallow the hard lump of pain that came along with having to accept that the love was no more. “but sometimes people just stop and they change their minds.” i focus on myself and blink back the tears threatening to rush down my face “and sometimes you can’t do a single wretched thing about it.”

i miss who we were last year.

shmwrites

and what a

difficult thing it is

to see someone

for who they are

instead of

who they were

is the old you gone forever? (please tell me it isn’t)

#spilled ink #spilled words #inkskinned #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled tears #spilled writing #spilled poetry #heartbreak #unrequited love #prose writing #poets on heartbreak #spilled poem #poetry #poetry blog #prose poem

shmwrites

I still miss you but it’s different this time. It’s different because I’m not waiting for you to come back anymore, I’m not waiting for things to go back to how they were. I can’t reach out for you anymore because you’d pull away when the old you would’ve pulled me closer and that still breaks my heart. I can’t bring myself to reach out to you because I can’t take the hurt I feel when you take yet another step back. I’m stronger now and I can keep my distance. But I do still miss you even though I know things can’t go back. I still miss you but it’s different, because this time, I only miss the memories of you and not the person standing right in front of me.

I still miss you, but one day I won’t.

#spilled ink #spilled words #inkskinned #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled tears #spilled writing #spilled poetry #heartbreak #unrequited love #spilled prose #prose writing #poets of tumblr #spilled poem #prose poem #poetry #moving on #i miss you

shmwrites

you were

the light

of my life

until

you set me

on fire

you burned our love to the ground and i died there with it.

#spilled ink #spilled words #inkskinned #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled tears #spilled writing #spilled poetry #heartbreak #unrequited love #poetry #poem #prose #poets of tumblr #spilled poem #prose poetry

shmwrites

don’t let

loneliness

make you go

running into arms

that don’t want

to hold you

because

they will drop you

and

they will drop you

every

single

time

and they will

leave you

broken and hurting

even more

than before

the struggle.

shmwrites

One minute you’re collapsed on your bedroom floor crying because you don’t think you’ll ever get over him and then it’s a few months later and you’re singing to your favourite songs again, the sinking feeling in your stomach is gone and you feel like you can finally breathe. You realise just how powerful and amazing you are because you’ve gotten through it. You watched him stop loving you and it almost destroyed you, but you didn’t let it. You didn’t let him ruin your life. So this is for the people who found the power to sing their songs again, you really can do anything. And for the people who are still on their bedroom floor, you will get through this. And when you do, you’ll never want to stop singing again.

I promise you that things will get better, be patient.

shmwrites

You leaving me was like a death. I don’t like to think that you stopped loving me. I like to think the part of you that loved me died. So when people ask if I am heartbroken, I tell them no. I tell them that I am grieving. Because when someone leaves, you hope they’ll come back. But when someone dies, you accept that they can’t.

I still miss who you used to be... a lot.

#spilled ink #spilled words #inkskinned #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled tears #spilled writing #spilled poetry #heartbreak #unrequited love #moving on #spilled prose #spilled poem #blossumfully #ask me anything #ask me #anon ask

shmwrites

my love for you was a song

you liked the melody

but you never bothered

to listen to the words

I’ll play my music for someone who wants to listen.

#spilled ink #spilled words #inkskinned #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled tears #spilled writing #spilled poetry #heartbreak #unrequited love #spilled poem #poetry #poets of tumblr

shmwrites

When he broke my heart I wrote about him, how cruel he was, how he was a hurricane that tore my heart apart, he was my world, my everything and he destroyed me. I felt he had led me on, hurt me deliberately but now that I’ve moved on I’ve realised he wasn’t any of those things. He was just simply a boy who could never love me and I was so blind I tried to paint him into someone and something he’s not when in reality he just didn’t want to be with me and I don’t think there’s any other way you could paint the harsh truth, that he didn’t want me.

he didn’t want me and I couldn’t make him (but believe me I tried).

#spilled poem #spilled ink #spilled quotes #spilled emotions #inkskinned #heartbreak #unrequited love #breakup

shmwrites

Do not mistake thorns for roses. If he only tells you how he feels when you have to force it out of him, if plans are only made when you make them, if he says he cares but never shows it then I think you need to question if he loves you all the time or only when it is convenient.

if he loves you, you will know.

#spilled poem #spilled quotes #spilled writing #spilled prose #spilled emotions #spilled poetry #spilled ink #inkskinned #heartbreak #cheating

shmwrites

I miss you so much but I know that’s it’s just the loneliness speaking. If I go back to you then I’m not allowing myself to feel true love and find someone who deserves me. What we had was nice and I wish it was real but we both know it was only real for me. I’ll always think about you but I refuse to let myself go back to you. I know what I deserve now and we both know you can’t give it to me.

I deserve better and I will not settle anymore but it doesn’t mean that I don’t still think about you.

#spilled ink #inkskinned #spilled feelings #spilled tears #spilled words #spilled thoughts #spilled poem #spilled writing #heartbreak #unrequited love

shmwrites

And in that moment something magical sparked between us. It was the possibility of love. But I wanted someone else, someone who didn’t want me and the moment passed and the possibility was no more. I just really wish that we could have another moment like that because if we did, I wouldn’t let it pass me by, I would hold onto it and then the possibilities would be endless.

an excerpt from a story I'll never write

#inkskinned #spilled ink #spilled words #spilled poetry #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled poem

shmwrites

I wouldn't have said I was in love with you but if you'd given me half a chance then oh god I could've been.

we could've been something but you told me I meant nothing (via helplesslydreamingx)

#spilled ink #inkskinned #spilled writing #spilled words #spilled thoughts #spilled feelings #spilled poetry #spilled poem #prose poem #heartbreak

shmwrites

You always did have such cold hands. I used to clasp them in mine and warm them up. Then there came a day when your hands weren't cold anymore and I guess that's when you decided you didn't need me. Now my hands are cold but you warm up someone else's hands like I used to do for you.

it's a vicious cycle (via helplesslydreaming)

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