requests are closed get off my fuckin lawn!!!!

Shitty Michael Shelley aesthetic: if ever there was an argument for quiet quitting, it was this. look at what going above and beyond because you feel bad for your frail old lady boss gets you.

Shitty Danny Stoker aesthetic: he was simply too good-looking and charming to be allowed to live. rip king i hope you were invited on tim’s kayaking trip after the unknowing

Shitty Rosie the Receptionist aesthetic: rusty quill where is my spinoff podcast. what does she get up to after work. how the fuck has she been working for elias so long and not killed him to death with a letter opener. jonny sims open my dms i have questions about the lore

Shitty Jurgen Leitner aesthetic: extended joke description about brutal pipe murder.

Shitty Gerard Keay aesthetic: plays every single my chemical romance song at the same time, over one another, in a horrible unending loop for a 24 hour period to see if the genius lyrics page for your ungodly creation draws jurgen leitner out of hiding 

Shitty Mike Crew aesthetic: y’all really went buck fucking wild over this weird manlet who showed up for like three episodes huh. y’all really did that. i don’t want to see a single bitch who simps for this man coming for jonny sims for naming all his fucking characters michael, you are part of the problem and not part of the solution

Shitty Manuela Dominguez aesthetic: you just fucking know this woman is vibing in helen’s corridors getting up to some prime wlw shit. it’s a slumber party every night. “this one i think i’ll keep?” lmao yeah i bet you will, get it, ladies

Shitty Nikola Orsinov aesthetic: that dude from silence of the lambs is in the middle of filing a dmca notice and takedown order. you’ve encroached on his schtick for the last fucking time, clown, he told you the skin suits were his thing

Shitty Oliver Banks aesthetic: honestly i feel like i’d be a lot less scared of death if there were hot end avatars involved. seems counterproductive. maybe the victims never see him? i don’t know how you’d be scared while making semi-charged eye contact with 2020′s top-voted sexiest avatar, is all

Shitty Peter Lukas aesthetic: big man, he's a big boy man, big boy man he's a big boy man, wow, big big man, big man's here, ooh, you stinky little man, ooh, big man's cooooool

Shitty Distortion aesthetic: something something fuckhands, something something eldritch milf. what memes is the fandom spitting out about helen and michael these days? i’m a little behind the times. anyway mx. distortion please please please call me i love you and i don’t care what face you wear to come pick me up

Shitty Tim Stoker aesthetic: boy howdy sure hope he’s having fun kayaking right about now. bet he’s ripped as fuck by this point. just really hope he’s having a good time 

Shitty Jonathan Sims aesthetic: and here we have just the epitome of a depressed goblin nightmare man. he’s had three mental breakdowns today, he is most emphatically not asking for help (and when he does, he’s told to go fuck himself) , and he’s realising just how gay he is at the worst possible time. if you see an archivist today, remember to be kind, and maybe tell him a lil story about something that’s happened to you recently. it’s just the right thing to do

Shitty Martin Blackwood aesthetic: now here we have the rare example of the useful gay, which is someone gay who’s actually incredibly competent and functional. this is an impressive and rare specimen and we should all be appropriately in awe of- oh, fuck, god damn it, he’s developed a crush on his boss. nope. nevermind. he’s useless now. time for four seasons of pining and counting!