I wish I had a little crown for my dick.
Gus Sorola
Jeremy: "My cat wasn't cleaning has ass, so I put butter on a paper towel and smeared it on his asshole so he'd lick it off."
Geoff: "I don't... I don't think I'd give a good handjob..."
Jeremy: "When I saw that Pepsi changed their logo, I went into the store and was just like 'CUNT.'" Jack: *uncontrollable laughter*
Michael: "Did you know that a female teabag is called a 'taco touchdown?'"
Oh, this is bound to be good
Gavin: "Everyone breathes dick every day."
Gavin: "Has anyone thought of a stingray without thinking of Steve Erwin?" Jeremy: "No, not even the stingrays. They're like 'I turned Steve Erwin into Steve ErLOSE.'"
Geoff: "I don't think I've ever intentionally hurt an animal... Stabbed a frog once."
Jeremy: "There's few things in life that are as satisfying as hitting a bird with a car."
Ryan caught out of context.
Geoff: "Gavin, you're like a more progressive, non-Jew-hating Hitler."
When a fan asked Michael to go to prom with her, only to discover that Michael's age barred him from attending, he invited her to "prom" on the Off Topic set.
Gavin: "I liked the shape of Daniel Radcliffe's head more in the earlier Harry Potter movies."
Jeremy: "I killed a starfish once." Geoff: "Tell everyone how you killed it." Jeremy: "WITH A SHOVEL."