Shit Borderlines Do

It depends on your intention behind it. If you were sharing a genuine concern that going back to school will be dangerous to your mental health, then that is neither abusive nor manipulative. We can be very aware of our triggers and when something will be too much for us. Verbalizing that is important and IS NOT MANIPULATIVE.

However, if you told them that and it was not true, then it does become a concern. If you used a suicide threat in order to get your way, that is (at minimum) manipulative and is a behavior that could become abusive.

I am avoiding giving you a definite answer or putting a concrete name to your behavior because I do not have all the details. I don’t know your state of mind or your thought process. I don’t know your history with your symptoms or school. I hope that what I have said is able to help you identify what the behavior was.

If you decide that it was a case of manipulation/abuse, you need to become aware of that behavior and work to alter it. Recognize why you do it, what triggers your need to act that way, etc. Then find ways to change it.

-Robyn

Note -  As always, remember that we’re not professionals here. 

the best thing to do is be honest about how you feel. i suggest just telling her that sometimes you want to talk about your mental stuff too! if anything, try casually bringing your stuff up more in conversation. if she shuts you down, then just bring up directly that it’s unfair that she ignores anything you have to say.

you can’t allow yourself to be manipulated by this person. if she threatens to hurt herself because you don’t want to be her friend, but doesn’t make an attempt to accomodate your own needs in regards to mental health - then she clearly can’t care much.

don’t give her power over you! she’s not behaving this way because she has BPD. she’s behaving this way because she’s a manipulator.

- mod sahar