reckless

everyone has a love story. in a person’s book of life, at-least one chapter of their story has a chapter filled with love. may it be happy, sad, or in-between, it has always been there. and that includes you too, you have a chapter in your open book, a chapter filled with love and affection.

but somehow, your chapter of love and affection suddenly closed without your knowledge. unknowingly, your book wrote on its own, a new chapter filled with deceit, pain, and recklessness.

happier

part two

you watch as he glides through the dance floor, smile glimmering against the light that illuminates the room. you see how happy he looks, eyes turned into slits as he spins around the the room, looking as if nothing else in this world matters. his carefree look, looking with such emotion that you’ve never seen before, eyes stricken with nothing but love and happiness, staring down with such softness and delicacy.

you wish it was you who he is looking he at.

oh, how you wish it would be you, you wish you’re the person who he has his delicate fingers wrapped around, you wish you would be the person who he’s sending smiles at, you wish it would be you who he’s looking at as if you’re the only person in the world.

but todoroki was never brave enough to put a label between you two. you two understood, you thought he would be able to figure out things sooner, but you can just laugh at how you were badly mistaken.

you watch as he pulls her closer, his hands enclosing around her waist as he giggles. you watch her wrap her arms around his neck, bashfully looking away as he whispers something into her ear, something sweeter than sugar you assume. watching as she bites on her lip, looking at him with her beautiful smile, the beautiful smile you’ve always envied.

you watch them with a painful smile, your lips curved upwards as tears brim in your eyes. you watch them inch their faces closer, watching as their noses touch, watch as they look at each others lips, watch painfully as their eyes meet like its meant to be.

“watch your tears.” someone whispers beside you. you look at the person who speaks to  you, placing your finger against your cheek and feel that lone tear that runs down your check. “you shouldn’t be crying.” he says, handing you a handkerchief.

you take the fabric from him, wiping down your cheek and the lower lashes of your eyes, hiding the fact that you’ve been crying. “thank you.” you mutter, folding the handkerchief in half and handing it back to him.

”keep it.” he mumbles, taking the spot besides you. you nod wordlessly, trailing your eyes back at where he stands, his two coloured hair flowing as he and the onyx hair girl sways, basking in each others presence.

the blond beside you follows where your eyes lay at. his crimson irises locking at the two who act like they’re the only ones left in the world, loving gazes being shared, evident blushes on their faces as they whisper sweet nothings to each other.

“you’re keeping your eyes on them?” bakugo asks, looking at you by the corners of his eyes. you look at him with a confused look before sparing todoroki and momo a glance, then nodding at him with a smile.

“i am.” you answer, rather happily for someone who had been caught crying just a few seconds ago. if it would be anyone else, they would have probably brushed your behaviour off, seeing it as an act of kindness, where the matchmaker is happy for the people they put together.

“why would you?” there’s an unknown concern behind his words, the delicate tone of his voice, one that contrasts to his usual brash behaviour. “aren’t you just hurting yourself?” he adds further.

“she’s beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives him butterflies.” you respond, looking down at your hands quietly, trying to hide the quivering of your eyes, making sure he doesn’t hear the way your feet tap impatiently against the ground. “i’d put nothing past that.”

“like sacrificing your own happiness? yeah right. keep lyin’ to yourself.” he sarcastically says, watching as todoroki looks around the room, discreetly searching for something, probably someone. “does forgetting about yourself make you happy?”

the question causes your heart to ache. it isn’t unlike you to save someone before you can save yourself, yet it has consequences, one larger than latger can fathom.

it’s pitiful, you know. anybody else who would know what you’re doing would call you a saviour, yet you don’t want to be called one. you just want to make others happy, even if it means putting their needs ahead of your own.

“i’m just another person who brings out the best in todoroki, it’s not a big deal.” you say as firmly as you can, but the crack in your voice betrays you. you can’t say anything without a cracked voice, you can’t sputter out anything else that doesn’t contain the smallest bit of deception in it.

“stop fucking yourself up,” he says finally turning his body to face you. “tell me what you want.”

you finally look up at the man, the tears that you’ve been sucking in, finally rolling down your cheeks freely. “he finally found someone he matches with, but i just hope he doesn’t see her better than me.” you whisper, placing your hand above your chest.

with every bit and piece of yourself you tell your mind to keep going, finally letting itself release the things it kept inside for ages. “i hate picking her apart, but fucking hell i hate everything about her bakugo. i hate the way he tells her she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen, i hate the way he smiles at her, i hate the way that he lied to me.” the dam breaks, and right then and there you nearly fall to your knees, but before you can fully fall limp, bakugo catches you, placing his hands on your waist.

“i hope he thinks about me when he wraps his arms around her, think about the times i’ve taught him things before she can even say she loves him.” your hands form into fists, pressing against the blonds’ chest as your tears dampen his tie. “tells her that she loves him back but not the way he used to love me. tell her all that eternal love bullshit he’ll never mean.”

its almost like it’s cursed, the moment you turn your head to take a breather, is the moment you catch their eyes finally locked at each other, mismatched hues fixated on her black ones. you painfully sob as they finally inch closer towards each other, him closing his lids while she pulls him closer.

it all happens in a whim, his lips finally touches hers passionately as a warm hand cover your eyes. you sobs worse as you hear cheers around the room, noises of friends that you now have supported them from the start.

it’s selfish, you know, you know it’s selfish to think that you wish he would be happy, but not like how he was happy with you.

late night runs, random outings, the sweetest kisses, warm hugs, whispers of sweet nothings. you wish he does those with her, but not like how he did them with you. not as happy as he did them with you.

you wish he’s happy, but you pray he isn’t happier.