say something, i‘m giving up on you

cold eyes, cold air, cold words, cold touches.

can’t miya atsumu just say something instead of leaving you in dust like this?

you’re watching it all, in-front of your eyes, watching it all unfold and fall into place as he shares lingering touches with her. you wish you can say something, say that you’re the significant other, say that you’re the on who’s only allowed to touch him like that, boldly say that you love him and that he loves you.

but how could you?

you can’t take that beautiful smile off of his face. you can’t be the reason as to why he’s being held back, you can’t be the reason why he’s not having a fun time. so you take a step back, a big step back, watching him smile as she presses a diligent kiss on his cheek.

you want to scream and yell, but you can’t because you know damn well that you can’t give him that kind of glow, can’t give him that kind of happiness, can’t give him that kind of joy in his life.

so you’d have to swallow your pride and do this for you two.

“atsumu,” you bitterly call him with a sad smile on your face. he looks back and watches you with a confused expression portrayed on his face. you chuckle at him in a weird way that makes him a tad bit worried.

“is anything wrong?” he asks, a tad bit concerned with the way you’re acting towards him. but you seem to be unworried, unalarmed, unmoving, fully accepting your fate with this one.

“i love you.” you say. you wish he would say it back, but just as you suspected, he can’t. how could he? he doesn’t love you that way anymore, so he just looks at you and watches with a sullen face.

“… yeah, me too.”

you’ve already followed him everywhere he wanted you to be, you’ve already shaped yourself into the person who he wants you to be, but you’re feeling all too small. it was just all in your head after all, this relationship had no hope from the start, you’d become the butt of the joke after all this time. you wish you can apologize to him for not being enough, but you can’t anymore, even if he’s the one that you love because you’re finally saying goodbye.

you wish he would say something, because now you’re giving up on him.

space; end. ii

three days.

its the longest three days atsumu has ever felt. it feels suffocating, it feels surreal, it feels disastrous.

the whole situation itself is disastrous, absolutely messy. it's like clouds suddenly being pinned to the ground while it forms a storm.

nothing good will ever come out of it.

space; end. i

it's been three days since the incident, nearly four.

the distance between you both is unbearable, for atsumu. he knows he shouldn't have lashed out on you like that. you were simply trying to help him, just how a good significant other should.

these days he's been avoiding coming home. i mean, what's the point of going back into his house when his real home isn't there?

but as for you. you're enjoying your time.

at first, you had no where to go. you had sold your old apartment and your friends we're all asleep at the time. leading you with no other choice than to crash at osamu's.

when you first had arrived at osamu's flat, he was confused. why would his twins' significant other be staying at his house when you both shared a home? but when you explained it had become crystal clear for him.

he was, and still is, willing to help you without spilling anything to his other half. it wouldn't be a hard task since he was good at that.

during the first night at osamu's you some how broke down. you opened up to osamu about the growing miscommunication and the tension in your relationship with atsumu. which he completely understood while he offered you champagne.

the second night was fun, you two were playing around with his new game that he had just bought until three in the morning.

and for the third night you two we're out crazy. you both agreer upon driving through out the whole city and enjoy the view while you can.

these activities were things you used to do with atsumu, but when the distance grew.. it just, stopped.

you didn't expect to enjoy your time at all. your initial thought was that you were going to simply cry im bed all day, until atsumu calls you and tells you he wants you beside him.

and thinking about it, honestly, it seemed toxic.

"care to share your thoughts, woman?" osamu asks, popping his head from behind you. a cup of boba in his hands.

"for me?" you ask, pointing to your self. he simply nods, stabbing the straw through the hole. "thank you." you smile receiving the drink.

"so, care to share what's on your mind?" osamu asks, jumping from behind the couch to the space beside you.

"atsumu." you mutter. osamu's face instantly scrunches in distraught. why would you be thinking of that ass hole when he just asked you to get away from him? was that not clear to you?

but he chooses to close his mouth, listening to what you have to say.

"and why is that?" he asks, tone somewhat sharp. you don't cower with hid tone as you don't notice it due to the thoughts clouding your mind.

"i don't know 'samu, should i just—" your voice gets cut off by the ring of the doorbell. osamu turns his head and faces the door.

"did you order something?" he asks, standing from his position.

"come to think of it, i did order something two days ago. i'll check it out." you say, placing your cup on the table. osamu mindlessly shrugs, leaving you to open the door.

"osamu, do you—"

"atsumu.."

"(y/n)..?"

your eyes widen and you instantly close the door. but atsumu's foot moved up on its own, blocking the door from closing shut.

"who's there?" osamu asks, slightly alarmed at your unsteady expression. you quickly mouth an 'atsumu' to him making him immediately stand and run to the bathroom.

"please, baby, let's talk about this." atsumu desperately says, unregistering the fact that you're in his twins' house. "baby, fuck— please." he pleaded again.

"just go home atsumu. i'm not in the mood to do this right now." you say, pressing your hand against the door, holding it close with all your might.

"hear me out, even if it's just a second, kay?" he says, holding his palm against the door, holding it steady. you heave a sigh, throwing your head back while you contemplate on hearing what he has to say.

"fine." you bite on your lip, letting go of the door. atsumu silently sighs in relief, showing his head from the door.

"hey." he breaths out, staring at you. the expression on your face is borderline disgusted, but you refuse to let it show.

"three minutes." you quickly tell him.

"ah shit." he fumbles, his hand flying to his nape. he looks away from you, finding the right words to say.

"time is running, talk atsumu." you tell him. he bites down on his lip and takes in a deep breath, clearing his mind.

"look, (y/n), i'm sorry." he starts, looking you in the eye. "i know what i said was out of pocket, and i know that you hate me." he says, his cold hands reaching out for your warm ones.

"but please know that i meant nothing about my words. nothing at all. okay?" his eyes glisten, finding it hard to make up words that will please you. it's already bad enough that you're in osamu's house with osamu's clothes one.

"a minute and thirty." you mumble.

"i love you, you know that." your interlocked hands raise to his lips, ghosting a small peck on them. "forgive me or not, but always know that i'll be rooting for you." he smiles, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

your walls that you built up immediately shatter down. your heart softens the moment he apologized and now you lowkey hate yourself for it.

"i hate you." you mumble, pressing your face on his chest. atsumu smiles softly, the tears he's been keeping in falls to his cheeks. he quickly wraps his hands on your shoulders pressing a kiss on your scalp.

"i hate me too." he chuckles. this time he really was shaken up, he thought he had lost you when you left and when he found you here in osamu's flat, he immediately thought everything was over.

"don't do that again tsum." your voice is muffled but he knows what you're talking about.

"if i do, then i will personally tell osamu to beat myself up."

space

atsumu isn't one to be so expressive of his feelings, you know that.

despite being an extrovert, atsumu still has his inner battles, and you're one of the handful who knows this. he might seem prideful, but he still has his own doubts.

you hate it when atsumu would constantly beat himself for it. but what you hate most is when he lashes it out on you.

"'tsum please, baby. if you want to talk i'm here." you're nearly begging on your knees, but atsumu still ignores you as if you're not even there.

today atsumu kept messing up in practice and both of you know that he hates messing up. he might be seen laughing it off, but in the inside he's burning up in rage.

"'tsum—"

"god (y/n), is there not a minute that you can't follow me or something?" he says, turning arounf to face you. his brows are deeply furrowed, and frown on his face is present, signifying that he is not in a good mood, not at all.

"atsumu, you can't just keep on blaming yourself. you know that i'm here if you want to talk—"

"you're not my therapist (y/n). nor are you some magic healing god who can make shit better. if anything you're making my headache worse."

"oh.." his words pierce like throw knives being directed right at you. you know that defending yourself right now isn't ideal, you know atsumu would end up saying things he doesn't mean.

"can't you understand that sometimes you're way too, attached? what are you five? can't you get a life or something?" your brows raise upwards.

you would be lying if you say his words did not affect you because it really did. he just told you to get a life.

"excuse me?"

"you keep on following me like a child! you're not one! don't you understand bounderies and personal space? you aren't the only thing i can attend to (y/n)! it's like you live in my shadows!" he says.

you're no longer sure if he means it or not, but one thing is sure, he had just made it clear that he doesn't want you there. maybe at the moment, or maybe until forever, either way he doesn't want you there.

"what's that supposed to mean, 'tsum?" your voice nearly cracks mid sentence, but you refuse to let it out.

"get a life! jeez, you don't need to be following me all the time. you just look stupid doing that." he half yells, hands on his hair, ruffling it up. you bite down on your lip and nod, understanding his words.

"you want space?"

"yes!"

"then you get space."

you grab your phone and put on your shoes before leaving the house. leaving a frustrated atsumu all alone with the space he wants.