Resident Robot-Loving Grandma

stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

gotta love the mics

You cannot say that a top grossing artist is "feral" or making you "feral." You are listening to the Billboard Top 40. You are very domesticated.

Stupid ass take. The fame of the artist doesn't define how it makes you feel. Do you not see me go hogwild eating potatoes, easily one of the top 5 most well known vegetables

We're like shooting stars you and I

Ohhh [fictional character with worse mental health than me] save meeeee from this cruel world.

Some people have "fuck you" money. You know, that amount you have in the bank where you can look at someone, say "fuck you, I quit" or "fuck you, I'm leaving" or anything like that.

This has now taught me that some people have "fuck you" time. and I could not be any happier with this knowledge.

The secret to developing Fuck You Time is developing Fuck You Skills. In the above example, the gentleman had the Fuck You Skills of

1. Being able to track down the superintendent's doctoral thesis 2. How to check it for plagiarism 3. How to notify the relevant people of this fraud without sounding like a crank.

Since he has these skills, it does not take him MUCH time to preform the Fuck You. Hence, his Fuck You time might be only a few hours a week, but because he's so effecient at the Fuck You, that's all he needs.

Learn a new skill and how to tell the universe Fuck You! today!

🌞 sun + 😡 extremely-angry

From Twitter

I have no idea what emotion this is conveying but I feel it in my soul

thats called the customer service smile

No joke is one-size-fits-all, but adding "but I remain optimistic" at the end of any somewhat-speculating statement makes it funny, taking a different tone in each.

Adding it to the end of something positive gives it an unexpected twist - implying that whatever the good thing that happened was, it wasn't what you expected or hoped to happen, but you're yet to give up hope of whatever the fuck you've now vaguely implied towards might still happen. "He survived and is expected to make a full recovery, but I remain optimistic."

Adding it to a neutral statement implies that you think something can be done about it, funniest if the statement is something that obviously can't be affected. "Apparently it's tuesday tomorrow, but I remain optimistic."

And the bleakest, most hopeless statements just become bleakly funny by the grim absurdity. "About 30 seconds remain until impact, and the chances of any of us surviving the crash are zero. But I remain optimistic."

love all the cute dungeon meshi pride art but chilchuck would not be caught dead wearing any sort of pride merch. you think that man is going to give out any personal information? for free?????

Chilchuck: You don't know my letters

I didn’t miss that social cue I just thought it was stupid 

‘i saw your social cue but am ignoring it in the hopes you learn to use your words and communicate like an adult. hope this helps’

I AM THE BEST PIRATE

when a character is written inconsistently because nobody thought about it that hard and you're like it's time for me to get in there.. and think about it that hard

Seinfeld (1989 - 1998) 8.22 The Summer of George

i love the strange reality of being a human person with a human brain. one time someone said something to me in a foreign language (japanese, which i do not speak) and i automatically responded in a different foreign language (spanish, which i do not speak well) and then we both said "what?" in english, an experience made more surreal by the fact that everyone around us was speaking loudly in canadian french (as this occurred in Quebec)

brain: ah yes a Foreign Language! i have One of Those!

official linguistics post

pov your a fitpac fic writer

no “carrd.” you learn things about me based on what you can piece together from the vague details of my life I disclose in rare moments of vulnerability