Resident Robot-Loving Grandma

fall outfit inspo

The devil works hard but that zipper working harder 😂🤩

witches in old fairytales had the right idea. living alone, unmarried, in the middle of the woods, and if a hero stumbled across their cottage they’re like “maybe I’ll give you a magical token to help you out. maybe I’ll fuck up your entire life. depends :)”

me

Did anyone else not know that Avatar Kyoshi was seven feet tall, bisexual, and lived to be 230 years old? Because I didn’t until now. Like no wonder there’s an entire group of women warriors who fight in her honor like I would too.

Aang to Kyoshi at some point: Avatar Kyoshi how did you live so such a long life?

Kyoshi: anytime someone tried to kill me I simply killed them first, anytime I felt I might die, I simply did not.

Then why did she die?

Idk like boredom probably

Seven Friends Buy Mansion in China so They Can Grow Old Together

i hope more people do this in the future ❤️

My favourite part of the article is that they formed this project years before they were able to make it a reality, and in the meantime “each friend has made sure [to] specialize in an area that would benefit all of them when they moved in together—from cooking and growing vegetables to traditional Chinese medicine and playing music.”

Þrídrangaviti lighthouse, Westman Islands, Iceland | Photograph/ Árni Sæberg

Wow

that’s the kind of thing I like to see

he’s not even mad he just sits back down

Some guy at Chicago Pride (2018) dressed up as Spider-Man and climbed the roof to drop rainbow bead necklaces for people who spotted him.

Two other pictures my friend took from across the street

I didn’t have the best view at pride, but I was able to photograph Spider-Man! 

no cops at pride only spiderman

pressed against the heating vent with TWO big pillows

Y’know… the longer I live in this world, the more I think cats have it figured out, man. I’m an adult with my own house, in charge of my own schedule, with an afternoon off, and am I going to spend it on top of two big pillows in front of a heating vent? No, I’m not, and why? Because I am not as wise as a friggin cat. 

fellas, this is your intellectual aspiration

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.

Bert and Ernie

i tried to propose to megatron at universal today…