Resident Robot-Loving Grandma

nyooms at u b/c I smelled dad headcanons

Ya know what I MIGHT AS WELL JUST DO THIS. EACH DAD IS A CERTAIN TYPE OF DAD YOU KNOW.

Basilio: the dad that can cow you into behaving by snapping his belt (and does it a lot), but would never actually hit you and you both know it so you wonder why that even works on you. Lets you watch R-rated movies with him when mom thinks you’re asleep.

Chrom: the dad that is at all your sports practices and band concerts to support you, even when he has no idea what’s going on. Also all your friends’ parents and some of your friends think he’s hot and it’s awkward. Brings all your crappy artwork in to work so he can put it on his desk.

Donnel: the dad that is always like “pffff they’re fine” when your mom or a neighbour worries about you climbing a tree or playing outside in the rain or wrestling with the dog. Always tells you to get off your dang computer and go outside. Always takes you to the park or pool if you ask to go.

Frederick: the dad that is too overprotective, but you are still secretly glad he made you bring that sweater he knitted you because you did get cold after all. Is always one of the parent chaperones for field trips. Makes all your lunches and always gets you to school on time.

Gaius: the dad that sneaks you dessert after mom says no. Gives the best advice because he did all the dumb shit there ever was to do and knows how dumb it was, now.

Gregor: the dad who jokes a lot but really gets down to business when he needs to. Often sits back and lets you make your own mistakes, because you’ll learn from them. Is too friendly and embarrassing when you have friends over, but for reasons you can’t fathom, your friends all think he’s hella. 

Henry: the dad who makes everything fun, even bad things (“The power’s out because of a thunderstorm? Sounds like that terrifying story I told you last night!” “Sure, you scraped your knee pretty bad, but you’ll have a really cool battle scar later!”). Always willing to help with homework, especially the science-fair-exploding-volcano variety. King of Dad Jokes, of course.

Kellam: the dad you never see because he’s always at work, yet the rare moments you genuinely need him (that time you needed stitches, that time your car broke down) he is around to help out.

Libra: the dad that pulls you to church every Sunday as a kid but tells you when you’re older that it was for family bonding purposes and lets you make your own religious decisions without pressure. Makes mom do all the disciplining because he can’t stand doing it himself. Is always telling you that you’re beautiful and great.

Lon’qu: the dad who only has to look at you a certain way to make you super sorry you broke the rules. Always makes you feel safe, for some reason, even when you’re old enough to know your parents aren’t invincible or perfect. Always lets you climb in bed with him and mom if you have nightmares.

Ricken: the dad that is constantly playing with you, no matter how silly the games are, like when the living room carpet is lava and he is the lava monster. He’ll also play video games with you when you’re a teen.

Stahl: the dad that always makes dinner, instead of mom doing it or even having a mom-dad balance. The most likely to talk through disciplinary problems with you instead of resorting to shouting or grounding.

Vaike: the dad who cheers really loudly at your events like “YEAH THAT’S MY KID YOU GO KID.” (This goes for everything from football practice to piano recitals.) Sometimes he gets into fights with other parents about how much better than their kid you are. Brags about you all the time at work. Makes you learn how to play every sport so he has someone to shout at the TV with.

Virion: the dad that demands good grades and good manners and forces you to shave when you start growing your first awful pre-pubescent ‘stache. Also slips you condoms before prom because “For heaven’s sake safety first but also have a good time if ya know what I mean.”