Resident Robot-Loving Grandma

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

cats are so very unclear on what is wrong with us but they want to help

One of the characters in our D&D party is an orc named Brick.  We’ve established that orcs get their names through tests of strength and that his name is Brick because it’s the strongest thing he was able to break with his bare hands.

By profession, Brick is a therapist.  His ultimate ambition is to one day do therapy so good that he can change his name to Depression.

I went into this expecting beautiful himbo and came out in love with Brick and crying over therapist orcs.

stop i NEED that pic of the boy who took his cat to prom and she has a lil dress and is looking up at him with 100% love and tenderness……..

there she is!!!!!!!

love……..tenderness…….

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

I groom one of these guys every week and he’s quite possibly the love of my life. We play a game called “brush, brush, kiss” because as long as I say “brushbrushbrushbrushbrush” he’ll stand nicely, but the second he gets impatient or I need a break I say “KISS” and he explodes into a ball of joy and kisses my entire face and anywhere else he can reach. It’s the best part of my week sometimes!

Well this is the best possible comment on any photo ever.

This is the complete opposite to all the crazy bridezilla Facebook posts from last year

I can’t complain - I got the bunny that I wanted in the end XD. This is another one of those times where what happened didn’t really click for me until I got older. So funny! Little me was very gullible. 

just saw bindi irwin got engaged and apparently her fiance is american. she’s 21 and they’ve been dating for 6 years. I wonder if his family lives in aus/works in conservation because imagine just being a random 15-year-old tourist at the zoo and having a meet cute with steve irwin’s daughter lol 

apparently that’s exactly how they met. bindi just happened to be giving tours the day his family visited. love is unreal. how is this not a teen romcom yet

It gets better. Terri is also American and met Steve Irwin the same way, by chance at the Australia Zoo, in 1991. Terri was devastated when he immediately offered to introduce her to his girlfriend Sue, until Steve called Sue over and a dog came bounding up.

Multi-generational love at first sight.

We took the drunk train home.

They were all absolutely infatuated with him and whispering about how much they wanted to pet him and then shushing each other saying “no that’s rude you can’t! just leave him alone!” so I told them they can pet him if they want and they were absolutely overwhelmed with happiness, while simultaneously being very concerned for his well-being, continually asking if I was very sure that it was okay and that I should please please tell them if I need them to leave him alone.

Basically, it was a great ending to a VERY long day. Sometimes people are really great.

once upon a time young young teenage me used to write fan fiction like my life depended on it, new fics every week and I had no idea there was someone out there printing out my fics and putting them in a box to read when they needed something to cheer them up

anyways fast forward to 20 year old me on my third date with Emily and she mentions offhand that she’s got this box of fic she printed out and saved

it’s a few months later after that and she shows me one of the fics in the box and holy shit that’s my garbage fic from so long ago

anyways my point is life is a fucking trip my dude

i still remember when we found this out. i don’t think either of us stopped yelling for hours

look it’s been eight years and I’m still like LMAO I MARRIED A FAN

This is the cutest thing I’ve ever read in my whole life

reblog to fall in love with and marry a fan of your fic

This sounds like a plot to a fic

I think a lot about who I am to other people in the world–particular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.

Today this woman called our information desk and said, “my son’s band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phone…..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?”

And I felt so bad for this lady but I’m not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.

Five hours later, I’m hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.

“Hey,” I said, “are y’all in a band?”

They said yeah and smiled and I told them “one of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she can’t get a hold of you. Call your mom.”

And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.

And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, that’s who I’ll be forever to those guys–some mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.

I didn’t even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.

Amazing.

I’M LAUGHING!!! THEY DIDN’T EVEN ASK WHO I AM.

Today at the library a man got one of the huge coffee table books of the shelf, took it over to the corner, lay it on the floor, then sat, with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, and stared down at a huge full spread picture of an alligator for several minutes.

how can ppl say cats are heartless tbh

I once stayed at a game reserve in South Africa, and they had three cheetahs – two males and one female. The boys stuck together (they were brothers), but female cheetahs are solitary, save for when they are raising cubs. Which is hard work for cheetahs, because they don’t/can’t den, she’s working constantly to protect/move her cubs, as well as feeding both them and herself.

Now, these cheetahs ARE in a private reserve, but they’re still essentially wild. But they are more or less accustomed to the presence of people. And this cheetah, Ketswiri, got very badly injured in her leg one time, which usually would be fatal to a cheetah. The staff at the reserve helped her. Another time, she was starving, and they provided her a fresh antelope carcass. And she remembered this, because the science officer was telling us how one time he was watching Ketswiri and her cubs, and she wandered over and dumped all her cubs at his feet, and walked off. Like “watch my kids, I need some me time.” And he was panicking like COME BACK I CAN’T BABYSIT YOUR KIDS WTF

My friend’s three year-old daughter insisted on that I was a doctor and she was my patient. Several other toddlers insisted that they, too, were sick or injured, so I had to take imaginary triage on the playground.

I took her heart rate, breath rate, level of awareness, and recent history. She complained of sneezing for the last three days and said that her father had also been sneezing.

“Okay,” I said, pulling out my laser pointer. “I’m going to use my medical tricorder to decontaminate your bloodstream. Hold our your arm.”

When I finished, she explained that the sneezing was gone, but her chief complaint was actually her knees. They were talking to each other and they were super loud about it.

“Oh,” I said. “This is an unexpected development. Have you tried asking your knees to quiet down?”

She nodded. “They won’t listen to me.”

“Perhaps they will respect my medical authority,” I said. “May I speak to them? Okay. Hello, Mia’s knees! This is Dr. Ship. I would like to thank you for your service and all the good work you do walking for Mia. However, she would really appreciate it if you would use your ‘inside voices’ when talking. Please whisper to each other so it doesn’t hurt her.”

Mia’s knees listened to me and her pain relented.

I told her that she should make sure she drinks lots of water and rest and she decided to take a nap right then and there.

“Give me a pillow!” she said.

“Uh. Will my knee do?”

She nodded, lay down on the concrete with her head on my knee, snored loudly for five seconds, and declared herself healthy.

Being a doctor is so easy. Maybe I should go to med school.

I had a date tonight with a girl I’ve been seeing and we were talking about tattoos and I mentioned wanting one of a bumblebee behind my ear and she stared at me for a second and then pulled back her hair and showed me a tattoo of a bumblebee behind her ear and lemme tell you if I didn’t believe in soulmates before I sure as hell do now that’s some next level shit

I had to immortalize the magical encounter I had yesterday