Resident Robot-Loving Grandma

The most unrealistic line in Revived is "there's nothing wrong with me" because I'm pretty sure C!Wilbur thinks everything is wrong with him.

He has all the mental illnesses yes but he's self aware

#after every line in revived just imagine it says ‘(lying)’

In The Departed (2006), Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg play two different characters— a subtle nod to them being two different actors, despite my wife being unable to tell them apart on the first viewing of the movie.

op this is the funniest post you’ve made yet

Babygirl I’m popping joints that paleontologists don’t even know about

No, fuck. Chiropractors

Yo mama so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist

im rediscovering apples and honestly i feel like the babadook from death note, theyre so good

I’ve seen a handful of AUs where Harry is deaf and I love it but it also makes me laugh because I just imagine Tom Riddle monologuing in the Chamber of Secrets and finally turning to a confused Harry who just signs “I’m deaf” and Tom is just like ??????

Voldemort isn’t present Harry’s 3rd year because his spirit is too busy learning sign language because god forbid he can’t monologue to Harry Potter come 4th year when he finally has a body.

This is the best thing I have ever read.

Tolkien started rewriting the Hobbit in the style of LotR, but what I really want is the Silmarillion in the style of the Hobbit. 

In a hole in the fabric of the universe there lived a god. 

Now, this was not one of those minor gods of bedtime stories or petty wars for heaven; this was the One God, all-loving and all-knowing, who created the world – only he hadn’t created the world just yet, which is why he was sitting in a hole in the fabric of the universe.

You made a Pratchett

My wife and I are part of a great cultural food heritages, so by combining Mexican and Desi dishes together, we managed to create the ultimate lifeform

Which is

Shadow

Jedi knight, standing out in the middle of a torrential downpour like a complete dumbass: So, it’s come to this.

Sith lord, likewise getting absolutely soaking wet: We always knew it would end this way.

Both: *activate their lightsabers, and are immediately enveloped in impenetrable clouds of steam*

I’m in class right now and the guy in front of me just opened up the registration website, dropped out of this class and got up and left

this ad for using energy efficent products is my merle headcanon

graphic design is my passion

do u think it worked 

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I’m tired and my room is dark

catch me in a full suit of armor at my own gay wedding