#philosophy – @shewhoworshipscarlin on Tumblr

We’re too busy sittin’ around thinkin’ up ways to kill each other. Here’s one we came up with, it’s efficient, too. Genecide. You know, killing large numbers of people simply because they don't look like you, they don’t talk like you, and they and they don't have the same kind of hats you do. You ever notice that at any time you see to groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they’re wearing different kind of hats. Keep an eye on that, it might be important.

George Carlin

#George Carlin #joke #quote #funny #comedy #dark humor #truth #philosophy #genocide #hats #irony #important #groups of people

shewhoworshipscarlin

I just think that’s interesting as hell. That’s probably the most interesting thing you could do with your life. End it! I don’t think I could do that though, could you? God. I couldn’t commit suicide if my life depended on it. But I understand it.

George Carlin

#George Carlin #joke #quote #funny #comedy #dark humor #dark #suicide #interesting #philosophy #play on words

shewhoworshipscarlin

Well, that’s a poetic note. And it’s a start. And I can dream can’t I? See, I don’t worry about the little things. Bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Wanna know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron *pulsing woah sound* It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.

George Carlin

#George Carlin #joke #quote #funny #comedy #poetic #philosophy

shewhoworshipscarlin

The Earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the Earth, the Earth probably sees plastic as one of its children. Could be the only reason the Earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place, it wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it, needed us. Could be the answer to the age-old egocentric, philosophical question, “Why are we here?” “Plastic. Asshole.”

George Carlin

#George Carlin #joke #quote #funny #comedy #plastic #earth #planet earth #philosophy #why are we here #asshole #sarcasm

shewhoworshipscarlin

And people much wiser have said “I’d rather have my son watch a film with two people making love, than two people trying to kill one another.” And I, of course, can agree, it’s a great sentiment, I wish I knew who said it first, and I agree with that. But I’d like to take it a step further. I’d like to substitute the word fuck for the word kill in all those movie clichés we grew up with, right? “Okay, Sheriff, we’re gonna fuck ya now, but we’re gonna fuck ya slow.” So maybe next year I’ll have a whole fucking rap on that word. I hope so.

George Carlin

#George Carlin #joke #quote #funny #comedy #philosophy #deep thinking #making love #cliche #film #fuck #curse words #swearing #swear words #bad words

shewhoworshipscarlin

I love words. I wanna thank you for hearing my words. I wanna tell you something about words that I think is important. As I say, they’re my work, they’re my play, they’re my passion. Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid, you know. *Strange fluid moaning* Then we assign a word to a thought *clucks tongue*And we’re stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It’s a matter of how you pick them.

George Carlin

#George Carlin #joke #quote #funny #comedy #philosophy #deep thinking #words #language #thoughts #fluid motion #fluid #passion #work #words can hurt #healing #hurt

shewhoworshipscarlin

As I said, I got nothing against the feminists, in fact, I happen to agree with most of the feminist philosophy I have read. I agree, for instance, that for the most part, men are vain, ignorant, greedy, brutal assholes who’ve just about ruined this planet because they’re afraid that someone might have a bigger dick out there somewhere. Men are basically insecure about the size of their dicks, so they go to war over it. You don’t have to be a political scientist or a history major to see the Bigger Dick Foreign Policy at work. It goes something like this: “What they have bigger dicks? BOMB THEM!” And of course the bombs and the bullets and the rockets are all shaped like dicks. I don’t understand that part of it, but it is part of the equation. So I agree with that abstract, that man, men, males, have pushed the technology that just about has this planet in a stranglehold. Mother Earth, raped again. Guess who. “Hey, she was askin’ for it.”

George Carlin