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Cupfull of cheer

@she5los / she5los.tumblr.com

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Jeff Sessions was interrupted by a priest who just directly quoted Jesus at him. Jeff Sessions was speaking about not allowing refugees and immigrants into this country.

The priest was removed. Another religious leader stood up and defended the priest, and they were also removed.

Powerful video. Jesus loves that priest, and that priest knows Jesus.

These two? This is true Christianity. This is how you practice your faith.

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tiggymalvern

Poor Jeff Sessions. It really sucks to have people express their religious freedom by using religion to tell you what a horrible hypocrite you are, doesn’t it?

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reblogged

christianity: the lord is my shepherd and i am a lamb whom He will guide to safety

judaism: we call ourselves “the god-punchers”, bc we like to remind Him of that time He lost a fight against our great-great-great-granddad

i see a lot of confusion in the tags so here’s an explanation of the joke!

  • the joke of this post is referencing the story of Jacob in Genesis. Jacob is one of the legendary Patriarchs of Judaism whom all non-convert Jews claim descent from, so he technically is my great-great-….-granddad.
  • At one point, Jacob meets a stranger on the road, who he ends up fighting for a reason the text is unclear about. Jacob wins the fight, and the angel reveals that he was actually a holy spirit in disguise. 
  • The precise identity of the man is a point of contention in all traditions- there’s an even split between if it’s God himself or an angel sent as an emissary.
  • Regardless, the man blesses Jacob and names him Israel- ישראל, yisra’el. The name is complicated to translate, but one popular one is “he who wrestles with God”. His descendants adopted this as one of their ethnonyms- בני ישראל, b’nei yisra’el, the children of Israel, the Jewish people.
  • So saying we Jews call ourselves “the god-punchers” is a loose translation, definitely, but I’d give an honest argument that it accurately portrays the spirit of the phrase, especially by giving it a glib and boastful modern phrasing.
  • for the nitpickers: yes, “The Lord is my shepherd” is a part of Jewish belief too! It’s from a passage in Psalms, which is a book that Jews and Christians do share.
  • But the relationship that we Jews have with HaShem is complicated and occasionally even adversarial. The Christian relationship, on the other hand, is much more, well, patriarchal. Jesus is a father figure who is always good and never needs a stern talking-to from His creations. 
  • In contrast, the Torah and Talmud are full of stories of Jews arguing with HaShem- and winning, and HaShem being ecstatic that He lost the argument. Bickering with our deity is a sacred Jewish tradition that continues to the present day.
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Obscure Angel Memes

  • [points to anything that isn’t an animal] that’s some good 6th day of creation shit
  • substituting curse words with words from dead languages
  • “Good job, Gabriel. “
  • arguing over which wing is more important to flight
  • “I can’t believe it’s not the Roman empire!”
  • God said let there be [anything that wasn’t included in the days of creation]
  • “Not Babylon again”
  • dinosaur bones in places they shouldn’t be
  • “it takes a village to raise the antichrist”
  • [playing Highway to Hell on a harp}
  • “Mount Vesuvius was a clerical error”
  • coming up with creative names for poisonous plants, then giving them to Michael as a new hair product
  • “Just because Jesus took a 3 day nap doesn’t mean you get one”
  • “I’ve got the body of a loaf of bread and enough alcohol in my veins to be called Jesus, too”
  • [anytime something bad happens] at least it’s not leprosy
  • the weekly game of “Worse Than Judas?”  that involves the angels competing to find the worst human alive
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idiotsonfb

Isn’t it nice how people twist their religious scripture to suit their weds but when it’s used against them it’s suddenly not okay

I talked to a monk about this quote once (we have mutual friends, and he came to a New Year’s Eve party at my shared art studio). He said this isn’t even talking about homosexuality. That the bible never actually says homosexuality is wrong. What that passage means is this:

Women were treated as subservient and it that you shouldn’t treat other men as subservient, like they are beneath you. It is not talking about homosexuality. If it was, it would say it outright since the bible lists other things outright.

I take the word of a monk who have studied the bible extensively more than a self proclaimed Christian.

The above text, I would like to point out is from the point of view of this translation of the original Hebrew. I spoke with my cousin’s rabbi on the matter and his response was different, saying that it was a mistranslation. See, the true translation says that a man shall not lie with another in the bed of a woman, which is to say, the Hebrews had a shit ton of rules about when a man was or was not allowed in a woman’s bed and private quarters (including, if she didn’t want you there, you weren’t allowed there. Hebrew women were also allowed to divorce their husbands and the image of the ‘oppressive Hebrew people’ is an image that was propogated by Christianity which, historically speaking, doesn’t treat the Jewish people too well and liked to paint them as being rather barbaric and backwards and cultish with their traditions, which, another piece of fun info, their traditions were one of the main reasons why the Jewish people were less likely, in medieval times, to die of the plague. Because washing your hands and avoiding the dead and vermin and the like was a lot of help. Of course the Christians persecuted them for not dying but that’s another matter. I’m sidetracked). So the verse is literally saying ‘Don’t fuck in some lady’s bed because that’s just goddamn rude’

Also, whenever a Christian brings the book of Leviticus up, you should feel free to point out that these are rules that were given to make the Hebrew people prepared for when the son of God came to earth. In Christianity, it’s believed the son of God was Jesus. So by following the rules set in Leviticus or pushing them as things we should follow, they’re saying that Jesus was not the son of God, and that Jesus did not, in fact, die for our sins. Jewish people believe, in their faith, that the son of God hasn’t yet been born, so many choose to follow these rules.

Most people of course roll their eyes when I explain the translation of the verse (full breakdown found here) but it’s always fun to point out the nature of the rules in Leviticus and the implications of following them. 

I’m a theology student and I am on the verge of crying because of how accurate this commentary is. Historical context is simultaneously the most interesting and most important part of interpreting any texts. 

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zorobro

Most religious people seem to base their beliefs on things that are severely mistranslated. I wish they would do their research before using the bible for hate.

I studied theology extensively and was going to become a theologist until I switched majors. The above commentary is 100% accurate and what I try to stress in a lot if conversations with Bible Thumpers.

Jesus also affirms the homosexual relationship between the Roman Centurion and his “slave”. The particular Greek word used to refer to this special slave was “pais”. Greek language studies and contexts show that a “pais” was a male love slave. Regular slaves were called “dolos”. The Centurion makes this distinction clearly when he asks Jesus to heal his slave (pais), and then to prove his status he tells Jesus that his slaves (dolos) go when he tells them to. But this slave (pais) was special. He was the Centurion’s lover.

Hearing this, Jesus was so amazed he says he had not found ANYONE ELSE who had such great faith. He then blesses the Centurion and heals his male lover.

Matthew 8:5-13

THIS IS WHAT THE BIBLE REALLY TEACHES ABOUT SAME SEX COUPLES.

In short, the English adaptation is a mistranslated farce.

^^^^this

reblogging for the comments ^^^^^^

EXCUSE ME WHILE I REBLOG THIS FIFTY MILLION TIMES

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it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning

oh my god

fucking fandom references

WHAT FANDOM? THE JESUS FANDOM?

THEY PREFER THE TERM CHRISTIANITY

This is the post that killed me

This is the post that killed him.

That’s whit at its finest.

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themyskira

Awesome Puritan names

A while ago, for fun, I started doing some reading on some of the stranger naming choices made by the Puritans between the seventeenth and nineteenth centuries. (Yes, for fun. I am a dork.) Here are a few of my favourites:

A Sussex jury roll from the 1600s includes the names Accepted Trevor, Redeemed Compton, Kill-Sin Pimple, Fly-Fornication Richardson, Search-The-Scriptures Moreton, The-Peace-Of-God Knight, Stand-Fast-On-High Stringer, The-Gift-of-God Stringer, and Fight-The-Good-Fight-Of-Faith White, Obediencia Cruttenden, Called Lower, Hope-For Bending, More-Fruit Flower and Meek Brewer. Some other wonderful Sussex names around this time include Safely-on-High Snat, Mortifie Hicks and the marvellously-named Humiliation Scratcher. And let’s not forget Be-Stedfast Elyarde, Faint-not Dighurst, Hew-Agag-in-pieces Robinson, Swear-not-at-all Ireton and Obadiah-bind-their-kings-in-chains-and-their-nobles-in-irons Needham.

Here’s another good naming method: There was a tradition among some Puritan villagers of opening the Bible and selecting the first name their eyes landed upon, which led to some interesting christenings. One poor child was landed with the name Ramoth-Gilead as a result of this method, reportedly leading a rather bemused parson to ask, “Boy or girl, eh?” There’s some evidence that certain parents, whose reading was perhaps not the best, would simply open the Bible and choose a word at random - hence the existence in Connecticut of Maybe Barnes and a girl by the rather unfortunate name of Notwithstanding Griswold. One child in England was christened Sirs, the parents insisting that it was a Scripture name and citing as proof the passage “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” Another Puritan named his dog Moreover after the Gospel passage “Moreover the dog came and licked his sores.”

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Church Members Mistreat Homeless Man in Church, Unaware It Is Their Pastor in Disguise. "Pastor Jeremiah Steepek transformed himself into a homeless person and went to the 10,000 member church that he was to be introduced as the head pastor at that morning. He walked around his soon to be church for 30 minutes while it was filling with people for service, only 3 people out of the 7-10,000 people said hello to him. He asked people for change to buy food – no one in the church gave him change. He went into the sanctuary to sit down in the front of the church and was asked by the ushers if he would please sit in the back. He greeted people to be greeted back with stares and dirty looks, with people looking down on him and judging him. As he sat in the back of the church, he listened to the church announcements and such. When all that was done, the elders went up and were excited to introduce the new pastor of the church to the congregation. “We would like to introduce to you Pastor Jeremiah Steepek.” The congregation looked around clapping with joy and anticipation. The homeless man sitting in the back stood up and started walking down the aisle. The clapping stopped with all eyes on him. He walked up the altar and took the microphone from the elders (who were in on this) and paused for a moment then he recited, “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ ‘The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ After he recited this, he looked towards the congregation and told them all what he had experienced that morning. Many began to cry and many heads were bowed in shame. He then said, “Today I see a gathering of people, not a church of Jesus Christ. The world has enough people, but not enough disciples. When will YOU decide to become disciples?” He then dismissed service until next week. Following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ should be more than just talk. It ought to be a lifestyle that others around you can love about you and share in.” Be a Christian all you want, but at least follow the teachings of Christ if you’re going to claim the title. 

I’m not a Christian but I have a massive respect for those who truly follow the creed of love thy neighbor. Major props- this pastor has balls.

YOOOOOOOOO

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she5los

Badass preachers who really stand for what they say they stand for make me soooo happy!

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