The Crack

The crack had been there for my entire life.

It was as wide as a football field and ran through the whole town. To get to the other side, you had to drive two miles out where it narrowed, and cross the bridge.

I can barely see the other side of town, from this side. When I was little, the crack was some distance from my house - I used to ride my bike with my friends and go look at it. I don't know how close it is now, but I don't go there anymore, since I've got my job and my family and everything. It's probably still a couple blocks away.

The scientists have studied the crack for a really long time, and have said it started back in my great-grandparents' day. Back then, it was just a little hairline. You could step over it.

In my parents' day, they said that when they were little, they went to a summer camp near the crack and dared each other to jump across. My dad's best friend Jonesy managed to do it, and they all got in trouble with the adults after.

Apparently, it stayed about that size, too, but in my lifetime it's really opening up, faster and faster. When I was in my teens, they built a bridge to cross the thing near the gas station. A couple years ago, that bridge collapsed - apparently it was stretching and couldn't take it anymore. They built a new one, but it's kind of a hassle. It's been a real hassle for everyone.

I work at the council, and the other day, I asked whether we had a plan for the blocks closest to the crack.

The mayor, the deputy, the comptroller and various department heads said it was all under control, they're working on the evacuation of residents. My boss thanked me for the question, while glaring daggers at me, since he'd missed out on doing that one and was still bitter about it.

"No, I know we're working on the evac," I said. "What about the long term plan? Are we just gonna let this thing take over the town?"

They stared at me, in silence. The air grew hot. You'd have thought I'd just stripped naked and flashed them.

The mayor said, "Gents, we're running out of time. Let's set something up to talk about that later this week."

And then he left, and the rest of the room shuffled out nervously, except my boss who looked like he was already drafting a termination letter in his head.

I stared at the clock, then stared at the town's map.

Okay, I know we're not the only town with a growing crack. Maybe, I could find something online, get in touch with a scientist, and try something. I'll get to keep my job if I spin it to make my idiot boss look good (I'm pretty good at that). Let's see.

Five hours later, after the office was entirely empty, I closed an empty document.

It turned out that it was very simpld. We had to fill the cracks, with dirt, rubble, whatever we could find.

With just one problem.

The giant crack running through my town was linked to every other giant crack in the world, and every other town that had tried to fill their giant crack had found it impossible to measure any results, despite spending tens of millions on this.

Worse, there were places where new cracks were beginning to form, but instead of patching the fissures before it was too late, some places were actively making them bigger.

I had to leave, I thought, pulling on my coat. I had to get as far as possible from any of these damned things. It looks like the rest of the world has the same idea, though - I looked a little, couldn't find anywhere to move to that was in my budget.

Besides, new cracks were showing up all the time, and growing much faster than existing ones. One guy who lived next to a crack moved across the country, only to fall in as a new crack abruptly opened up under his car while he was driving to work. Maybe it's safer next to this one, which moved slowly, rather than-

A tremor. I was halfway out the door, and the building shook. Grubby white plaster rained down on me.

I watched a dark line form on the wall, right before my eyes.

It went on for a minute, then stopped. I cautiously exited.

Just my car, in the empty parking lot. I don't know what I expect. I got in, started the drive home, and in turning out of the lot I drove over a bump that wasn't there when I came in.

I slammed the brakes. I didn't want to look, but I had to.

I stopped the car and opened the door and there it was, a new crack. Not large. A couple feet long, still small enough to step over.

I looked around for something, anything, on the deserted street. I tore fistfuls of leaves off a shrub nearby and fed them into the crack, which accepted.

I had maybe, naively expected it to close up, but it wasn't an ordinary pothole. It was linked to the cracks, all of them, and most have all been sitting empty for a very long time.

In the end, I drove away. When I got home, I killed the engine and sat at the wheel.

I could go in, sit down for dinner, watch some TV, and then sleep. Then tomorrow, I'd get up, go to work, and argue with my boss and all the other guys about doing more about the hole.

I had a pretty good grasp of this town's budget. We were in good shape. We could afford twenty excavators working full time to fill the crack, starting from the part near the bridge. Maybe I could sell it as saving on having to build yet another bridge?

I pulled out my phone and looked up how much that might help. Oh, a city, a much larger one, is trying that right now, and experts predicted that....

The crack would stay the same size for the next sixty years, as long as they and every other place that was currently filling cracks kept doing it the entire time. If any of them stopped, the crack would start growing again.

I considered the look on the mayor's face if I wrote such a proposal, as I crawled out of the car.

I unlocked the garden shed and retrieved my shovel. Then, I walked.

I walked until I reached the edge of the crack. This did not take long. It was only two streets away from my house. Other homes were dark - they were no longer occupied.

I found a good spot to stare into the deep, bottomless chasm.

Then I struck my shovel into the ground and began, futilely, to fill.

miss him like a lover, hate him like a father

Documenting what is quite possibly the best exchange I have ever seen on this website.

He will not be exiled again

I enjoy all parts of this post. The trans leash, the confusion, the heartfelt display of affection we give to our pets. The biography, the history lesson, and the morality of keeping cats indoors are all bonuses.

Hey thats me again.

Anyway guess whos 18 now!!!

Frank

This post has EVERYTHING...

this article is behind a paywall but i'm obsessed with the headline + photo combo

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

Sea Pig (Scotoplanes globosa), family Elpididae, specimens found in the deep sea off of the Pacific Coast of North America

photographs via: MBARI

loml, the libby app

Certified Library Post

help lmao

autism is cool bc if im sad i can just look at a picture of a sea slug and become infinitely more happy. how can you be sad when this exists

the most unrealistic part of izombie - a show where zombies are real and can solve crimes by eating brains - is that the character ravi isn't slamming ass all over the city. like he's supposed to be a medical examiner in seattle which is a $100k+ salary and he's played by rahul kohli and y'all are really trying to convince me this 6'4" doctor isn't knee deep in pussy 24/7?? zombies I can accept but trying to convince me this man with a full head of hair and a british accent has to fight for women's attention absolutely annihilates my suspension of disbelief.

reminder that the only legitimate amerikan culture is native american culture. english colonists bringing in more euro settlers to make a melting pot of lots of different illegitimate colonizer cultures is not a "real culture". fuck your national parks on stolen native land and european settler immigration and amerikan (british)-settler fusion food! native americans are STILL HERE they are STILL ALIVE RIGHT NOW!

like I cannot overestimate how much damage the persuasive myth that natives are basically gone now has done. they are still here and you are doing the colonizer's work for them if you imply such. what native american dishes can you name off hand? hell, I'm a leftist amerikan and I come up blank, yet everyone can talk about the great melting pot and how much "culture" all the different flavors of (mostly european) settlement added to the US. What about the culture that was here first? What about the culture that still persists, despite all odds?

You tell the pizza guy you don't have any money and want to pay in pussy and he just breaks down crying. You were his thirteenth job of the day, after also doing lyft and Doordarsh and task rabbit, and honestly like, the sentiment is nice, he WOULD like some intimacy (he's so tired by the end of the day, he can't even masturbate and anyways he feels so disconnected from his body, it's like a tool for capitalism and he struggles to view it as something capable of pleasure) but honestly, if you could PLEASE just give him $20 so he can afford something off the value menu at McDonald's. And you feel so miserable, like damn, you and the pizza guy end up splitting the pizza and just talking, and he tells you about his lifelong dream of taking up scuba diving and you tell him about your little etsy business that you do on top of your office job, and for a moment the human connection is enough for the both of you. Yall still fuck. Five stars, delivery driver was considerate, flexible and was open to pegging.

but is the internet ready for Him again?

Netflix is a coward for canceling this masterpiece

Once upon a time I worked in this little burger/coffee/ice cream shop and a lady came in one winter and asked if we had a caramel apple drink and we were like ‘well we have cider’ and she was like ‘no I don’t remember what it’s called but this place made a drink that was chai tea, apple cider, and caramel’ and Breezy offered to try and make something for her but she changed her mind and left so Breezy and I were like ‘alright let’s try this’ because we had chai tea, instant cider mix, a shit ton of caramel, instant hot water from the espresso and too much free time. 

And let me tell you it was delightful. It tastes like watching the leaves changing color and dancing in the wind. It tastes like picking out pumpkins and gourds and fresh apples at the farm up north. It tastes like witches and freedom.

I make it every year now and this year I walked in the house on the morning of October first with all the ingredients and shouted ‘FALL DRINK’ and my roommates were like ‘????’ so I made them Fall Drink and now every time they get home from work they’re like ‘Fall Drink pls?????’

Anyway I remember literally nothing else about that woman but I’m very grateful to her. 

for anyone wondering about proportions/etc here’s op’s answer from the repiles:

@gaslightgallows I feel this would be relevant to your interests. 

I don’t like caramel but I can vouch for hot chaider being amazing.

Deareat @simonalkenmayer I feel like this is relevant to your interests.

Also, I do something like this in the crock pot with the overly sweet Growers Pumpkin Apple Cider, chai spices, cloves, a bit of orange juice, and some super dry Pinot Grigio.

Mix, heat, and serve on a nippy night best spent cuddled under blankets with a book.

My friend, you have essentially backward engineered a wonderful winter drink from the Stuart period.

White sack wine, cider, spices (clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, mace, ginger) tea, sugar, and if you want it authentic, a bit of cream or whipped egg. All this is brought together in a low temperature and then stewed for a time. It can also be “pulled”, a process in which one “stirs” the concoction by using a ladle and pouring it repeatedly from high in the air. Makes it foamy and frothy. 

Serve warm.

On a cold night, this is a delightful thing. Believe it or not, we also used to make it with a stout beer instead of wine. For a darker richer flavor.

One Black Tea Bag, One Cup Apple Juice, 2tsp butter, 2tsp brown sugar, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger to taste will also accomplish something similar (just melt the butter and brown sugar together and whisk them around a pan a bit - don’t bother making proper caramel) Make your faux-caramel then you add the apple juice and then the rest; heat it up to a boil then turn off the heat, drop the tea bag in and let it steep for 3 minutes, serve with gingersnaps.

Nothing better than tumblr recipe posts

Started making something similar last year, old cider (Irish, alcoholic), chai tea bags and a mulled cider flavour sachet (sugar, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg mainly). You don’t need caramel because it’s already pretty sweet and lightly boozy! Great with popcorn, banshee bones or Halloween picnmix

Actually Captain Jack Harkness is SO important. During a time when we couldn't get a single queer on screen in most shows and even those few we did get ended up dead 90% of the time, he was not only openly bisexual, he was openly bisexual and LITERALLY unable to die.

They buried that gay and he still dug himself up and kept fucking